“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a disagreement, only to later wonder if it was really worth it? Perhaps it was a rude comment, a thoughtless action, or an oversight that sparked the conflict. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to react, to defend ourselves, or to highlight the wrong done to us. But as followers of Jesus, we’re called to a higher standard – one that prioritizes grace over drama.
Proverbs 19:11 encourages us to reflect on how we respond to the minor offenses that inevitably occur in our relationships. In a fallen world that often glorifies the drama of retaliation, choosing to overlook an offense might not seem to make sense at first. However, since God gives us grace, he also calls us to show grace to others.
The first part of this verse highlights that wisdom produces patience. Patience is more than just waiting. It’s the ability to remain calm and composed, even when provoked. Patience allows us to pause before reacting, giving us the space to consider the situation with clarity and compassion. When we’re offended, we don’t have to react quickly. We can pause to breathe and seek God’s perspective. Wisdom teaches us that not every offense requires a reaction. Some things are better left unsaid. When we choose patience, we open the door to grace.
The Bible also tells us that “it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” What does it mean to overlook an offense? It doesn’t mean that we ignore sin or allow ourselves to be mistreated. Rather, it’s about discerning which battles are worth fighting. It’s about choosing to let go of minor slights, understanding that not everything needs to be addressed or corrected. Overlooking an offense is an act of humility. It’s a recognition that our worth is not diminished by someone else’s behavior. When we choose to overlook an offense, we are saying, “I value this relationship more than this argument. I choose peace over pride.”
In doing so, we reflect the character of our Savior, Jesus. Jesus endured much more than minor offenses, yet he responded with grace – even toward those who sought to harm him. If our Savior could extend such grace in the face of great suffering, how much more should we try to extend grace in our everyday interactions?
This world often encourages us to react to offenses, to stand our ground, and to assert our rights. Social media, television, and even well-meaning friends might urge us to choose drama to stand up for ourselves. However, while we do need to stand up for ourselves in serious situations, doing so for every minor offense can lead to unnecessary drama and strained relationships.
Grace is the antidote to drama. Choosing grace doesn’t mean that we become doormats or that we avoid necessary confrontations. It means that we are selective about the battles we fight, prioritizing love and peace over proving a point or winning an argument. Grace recognizes that we all fall short – and just as we have received God’s unconditional grace, we are called to live gracefully in our relationships with others. It’s important to remember that the grace we extend to others is a reflection of the grace we’ve received from God. None of us are perfect; we all have moments when we offend, hurt, or disappoint others. Yet, God chooses to overlook our offenses through Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice for us. God’s grace covers our sins, and God’s patience is endless.
When we struggle to extend grace, let’s remember how much grace we’ve been given. Let’s recall the times God has forgiven us for our mistakes and the times God has chosen to bless us despite our shortcomings. That should inspire us to offer grace to those around us.
So, consider the opportunities you have today to choose grace over drama. The next time you feel slighted or offended, pause and ask God for wisdom. Ask God to help you respond with patience and to discern whether or not the offense is really worth addressing. More often than not, you’ll find that choosing to overlook the offense leads to peace – both in your relationships and within your own heart.
In a world that often celebrates drama, choose to be a person who celebrates grace. Aim to be known not for your quick temper, but for your gentle spirit. By doing so, you will bring glory to our gracious God.
Let’s pray:
Dear God, thank you for the grace you’ve so abundantly given me. Help me choose patience and grace in my relationships, especially when I feel offended or hurt. Remind me of the grace you give me constantly, and empower me to reflect that same grace to others. Please give me the wisdom to know when to overlook offenses and the strength to choose peace over pride. May my actions bring glory to you and draw others closer to your love. Thank you, God. Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/evgenyatamanenko
Whitney Hopler helps people discover God's wonder and experience awe. She is the author of several books, including the nonfiction books Wake Up to Wonder and Wonder Through the Year: A Daily Devotional for Every Year, and the young adult novel Dream Factory. Whitney has served as an editor at leading media organizations, including Crosswalk.com, The Salvation Army USA’s national publications, and Dotdash.com (where she produced a popular channel on angels and miracles). She currently leads the communications work at George Mason University’s Center for the Advancement of Well-Being. Connect with Whitney on her website at www.whitneyhopler.com, on Facebook, and on X/Twitter.
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