Gray Areas of Motherhood: What To Do When There’s No Clear Right Answer Lee en español |
September 2, 2024“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5 (ESV)
We encounter a lot of decisions in motherhood that don’t seem to have a clear right or wrong answer. Those “gray areas” — or everyday motherhood decisions not explicitly addressed in Scripture — can easily trip us up, making us feel paralyzed and anxious.
Things like:
Should I enroll my child in this sport?
Where should I send my kid to school?
When do I give my child a phone?
Should I let them watch that show, listen to this music, or hang out with that friend?
Thankfully, God’s Word still gives us guidance and advice so we can employ biblical wisdom in these gray areas. Following biblical wisdom means applying what we know about God and His Word to the situation we have in front of us, and it’s a skill that we can learn with His help. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
Asking God for wisdom is our first step when faced with a gray-area decision. In addition, here are three helpful questions for seeking wisdom in unclear situations:
1. Is the cost to me and my family worth it?
Though the idea of cost automatically makes us think of money, this is not the only way to quantify cost. Activities, lifestyles and material items can also cost us time and attention. We should thoughtfully count the cost of our choices in the context of prayer and God's Word, also consulting our spouse if we’re married and our Christian community (where appropriate). Then if we do move forward and say “yes,” we can do so with our eyes wide open to the challenges and risks, ready to try to mitigate them with God’s leadership and help (Luke 14:28).
2. Does this align with my family’s mission?
Every family has a unique and God-given mission. Before we spend time or money on something, we can each stop to consider how it fits into our mission as a woman, a wife and/or a mom as well as the mission of our family unit. Sometimes we see others doing things that look interesting or amazing, and we adopt those goals for ourselves, only to realize later that those things don’t fit the calling God has given us (Ephesians 4:1).
3. How permanent is this decision?
Some decisions are easy to change, some come with a higher level of commitment, and others can be nearly permanent. We don’t need to live in fear of making a big decision. But if possible, we can assess the permanency of the decision and align that with the amount of time, care, consideration and attention we give it as we move forward.
As we learn to negotiate the gray areas of life using gospel-inspired wisdom, we can walk in freedom, able to live for God’s glory without fear, guilt or shame.
Father, give me wisdom for decisions that I don’t have a clear answer for. I know You give wisdom to all who ask, so please grant me discernment to make choices for my unique family and to walk in confidence as the mom You've made me to be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
In Gospel Mom, learn how to navigate your everyday decisions and current circumstances through a biblical lens, and experience freedom and confidence in who God made you to be. Walk step by step through helpful practices and biblical thinking about how to rest in the grace of Christ, gaining peace and assurance in your motherhood. Gospel Mom releases October 15, 2024; preorder your copy today!
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FOR DEEPER STUDY
Proverbs 2:6, “For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding …” (ESV).
Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (ESV).
What difficult decision have you had to make recently? What tools did you use to arrive at your decision?
Who are the trusted people in your life who can help you evaluate an important decision? Make a list of these people, and reach out the next time a big decision needs to be made.
© 2024 by Emily A. Jensen and Laura Wifler. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org