“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
For a long time, I didn’t know who I was. I was changing to appease others and fit in, so I didn’t really know where my true identity came from, what I wanted to do with my life, or who I wanted to be. During my childhood, teenage years, and beginning adult years, I chose to be somebody I wasn’t to be accepted by others. In retrospect, I can see now that this was not healthy, but at the time, I thought it was normal.
I thought to myself, “Doesn’t everyone change in order for others to like them?” As you are reading this, you are probably thinking to yourself, “Of course not.” I know this now, but back then, this type of negative thinking had a strong grip on me.
The first time I changed to be accepted was in the sixth grade. My sister and I were going to a school where we didn’t belong. Everyone was rich, mean, and thought they were better than you. As you can imagine, it was miserable to attend this school. Everyone was wearing clothes from expensive stores, such as Hollister, Abercrombie, or Aeropostale, which were all too expensive for our family.
If you grew up during this time, you understand how much your clothing affected whether you were accepted or not. When my mom learned of this unspoken rule, she purchased my sister and me several of these shirts from a discount store. My mom reasoned that if she bought these clothes for us we would finally be accepted.
My sister and I attended school the next day in our "fancy" clothes, and we still were not accepted. In fact, we were made fun of. With a heart of hurt, I left that day in tears and I begged my mom to take me out of this school. She did, but not until the end of the year. I never did wear those clothes again, but it started a downward spiral of thinking I had to change for others to like me.
I should have learned then that I changed, yet they still didn’t accept me. Sadly, I did not learn this and I continued to struggle with the same problem throughout my teen and early adult years. Even in my home life, I struggled to know who I was because I wanted to appease my mom, my dad, and my sisters. As we know, we cannot appease everyone. Instead, we have to learn that we need to be ourselves, and if someone doesn’t like us, then that is their own opinion and it is not a deciding factor of our worth.
Now that I’m approaching my thirties, I have learned that I don’t need to change for others to like me. If they don’t like me, then that’s okay. I don’t want to be surrounded by people who I can’t be myself around anyway. Even though it took me a long time to truly find myself, it was worth the journey. I now feel more authentic and happy with who I am.
None of this could have happened if I never had the original pain and hurt. God can bring beauty from any situation and provide healing to our wounds. By knowing Him, we know we are loved. To be loved and known by God can help us truly discover who we are and know we are good enough just as we are, even if others don't see it. Of course, we can't use being "good enough" as an excuse to sin whenever we want. That's not what Scripture implies at all! This weakens the definition of imago Dei, made in God's image.
Nonetheless, the Apostle Paul tells us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). As we are told in this passage, we are God’s masterpiece. From these simple words, we are given everything we need to know when it comes to being ourselves. Since we are God’s handiwork, we must embrace who we are and learn to accept ourselves.
God did not make a mistake when He created us. Our appearance, personality, talents, and interests were all given to us by God. Therefore, there is no reason to be ashamed of who we are, is there any reason to change to appease others. If we are living to please God, then we are doing well. Never does God say we have to change to fit in with the standards of the world.
Upon further reflection on Ephesians 2:10, we also see that we are created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. As we reflect on this truth, we see that we were created the way we were to do good works for God that were uniquely designed for us to do. With this in our hearts, we never need to be afraid to be ourselves. We were created by the love of God, and there is no reason to be ashamed of Him.
“Dear God, I have often been afraid to be myself due to fear of others rejecting me. Thank You for showing me that I am Your handiwork. I was created in Christ Jesus to do good works that You have prepared for me. Help me to remember this when times are hard or I’m doubting my worth. Thank You, God. Amen.”
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Martin Barraud
Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate: https://cultivatechristianity.wordpress.com/.
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