Despite life's challenges and unknowns, I'm convinced that being a father is about being present, involved, and being the father God has called me to be.
The role of fathers in Christian parenting is multifaceted and profound. It's a calling that requires strength and tenderness, wisdom and humility, and above all, an unwavering commitment to following Christ's example.
1. The Spiritual Leader Guiding with Grace and Wisdom
When it comes to being a spiritual leader in the family, I'll be the first to admit that it can feel like trying to navigate a ship through stormy waters—blindfolded. But here's the thing: God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called. And boy, does He have a sense of humor about it!
I remember the first time I attempted to lead a family devotional. I had it all planned out—we'd read a Bible passage, discuss its meaning, and end with a beautiful prayer. Reality? My toddler was more interested in eating the Bible than reading it.
But you know what? We kept at it. Slowly but surely, those awkward family devotionals have become cherished moments of connection and growth. As fathers, we're called to be the spiritual leaders of our households, guiding our families in the ways of the Lord. It's a responsibility that can be overwhelming for us at times, but it's also an incredible privilege.
The Bible gives us clear direction on this. Ephesians 6:4 says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." This verse reminds us that our role isn't to be dictators but nurturers of our children's faith. We're called to create an environment where our kids can experience God's love and grow their understanding of Him.
Being a spiritual leader doesn't mean we have all the answers. Some of the most powerful moments in my journey as a Christian father have been when I've admitted to my child that I don't know everything, but I know the One who does. It's about pointing our families towards Christ, even, and especially, when we feel inadequate.
2. The Protector Shielding with Love and Discipline
When I think about being a protector as a Christian father, I remember a time I tried to assemble a backyard playset for my kids. Armed with a set of instructions that might as well have been written in ancient Aramaic, surrounded by pieces of wood and hardware, I was determined to create a haven for my children to play. Six hours, three bandages, and one near-nervous breakdown later, I stood back to admire my handiwork—a structure that looked less like a playset and more like an abstract art installation.
But you know what? My kids loved it. Not because it was perfect, but because they knew I had poured my heart and a good portion of my sanity into creating something to keep them safe and happy. And isn't that what being a protector is all about?
As Christian fathers, we're called to protect our families not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. It's a role that goes far beyond assembling playsets or checking for monsters under the bed (though those are important too!). We're tasked with creating a safe environment where our children can grow, learn, and develop their faith.
The Bible speaks to this role in beautiful ways. Psalm 127:3-5 reminds us that our children are precious gifts from God, and it's our job to protect and guide them like a skilled archer aiming his arrows.
But here's the thing about being a protector—it's not just about shielding our kids from harm. It's about equipping them to face the world with confidence and faith. It's about teaching them discernment, helping them understand right from wrong, and showing them how to stand firm in their beliefs even when the world pushes back.
I've learned that sometimes the best way to protect my children is to let them face challenges, standing nearby ready to catch them if they fall, but allowing them the freedom to grow and learn. It's a delicate balance, much like trying to walk across a room covered in Lego bricks—it requires careful navigation and a willingness to endure a little pain for the greater good.
3. The Provider
When it comes to being a provider, as a Christian father, I've found that it's like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle—it requires balance, skill, and a healthy dose of faith. And just like that circus act, there's always the risk of getting burned or falling flat on your face.
As Christian fathers, we're called to be providers, but this role encompasses so much more than just bringing home a paycheck. Yes, meeting our family's material needs is important. But here's the thing: providing isn't just about money and material possessions. It includes nourishing our children's souls, feeding their minds with wisdom, and cultivating an environment where they can grow in faith and character. It's about providing them a living example of what it means to follow Christ.
I've learned (often the hard way) that true provision is about balance. It's about working hard to meet our family's needs while also making time for the things that truly matter—family dinners, bedtime stories, impromptu dance parties in the living room, and heart-to-heart talks about life and faith.
Sometimes, being a provider means making sacrifices. Maybe it's turning down a promotion that would mean less time with family or choosing a simpler lifestyle so we can invest more in our children's spiritual growth. These decisions aren't always easy, but they're part of the sacred duty we have as Christian fathers.
4. The Teacher
I once tried to explain the concept of the Trinity to my 5-year-old. I thought I had it all figured out—I'd use the classic analogy of water existing as liquid, ice, and steam. Clever, right? Well, for the next week, he told everyone that God was like a popsicle that could melt and turn into a cloud—not exactly orthodox theology, but points to creativity, right?
This experience taught me an important lesson about being a teacher to my children: it's not about having all the answers but encouraging an environment of curiosity, learning, and growth. As Christian fathers, we're called to be the primary educators of our children, especially when it comes to matters of faith and character.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs us, "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." This passage reminds us that teaching our children about God should be an ongoing, everyday process, deeply incorporated into our daily lives.
As fathers, we're required to teach with our words and actions. Our kids are watching us, learning from how we handle stress, how we treat others, and how we prioritize our time. It's a sobering thought. But it's also an incredible opportunity to model what it means to live out our faith.
5. The Nurturer
Being a Christian father is not just about providing food, shelter, and discipline. It's about creating an environment of love, understanding, and emotional intelligence. It's about being the safe harbor our children can always return to, no matter how stormy life gets.
The Bible gives us a beautiful picture of God's nurturing love in Psalm 103:13: "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him." This reminds us that our role as nurturers is a reflection of God's own heart towards His children. We're called to show compassion, comfort, encouragement, and love unconditionally.
But being a nurturer doesn't always come naturally, especially for those who grew up in homes where emotions weren't freely expressed. We must learn how to create an emotionally safe space for our children. This can be achieved by being okay with tears, not shying away from difficult conversations, and showing our kids that it's alright to be vulnerable.
As Christian fathers, we have the incredible opportunity to model emotional intelligence for our children. This means being in touch with our own emotions, expressing them in healthy ways, and teaching our kids to do the same. It's about showing them that real strength isn't about suppressing feelings but about understanding and managing them.
Nurturing also involves celebrating our children's unique qualities and helping them develop their God-given talents. It also requires seeing the potential in them, even when they can't see it themselves.
As we wrap up, we must remember that this journey of fatherhood is as much about our growth as it is about our children's. Each bedtime story read and each heart-to-heart conversation shapes us into the men God has called us to be.
The path of Christian fatherhood is not always easy, but it is infinitely rewarding. It's a journey filled with laughter and tears, triumphs and challenges, moments of great wisdom, and moments of utter cluelessness. But through it all, we have the help and guidance of our Lord Jesus and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/max-kegfire
Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.