Think Before You Speak
By: Alisha Headley
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” I Peter 3:1
The Bible contains many tools and a lot of wisdom about how we are to conduct ourselves in our marriages. In today’s verse, Peter talks to wives and husbands about how wives are encouraged to submit to their husbands by showing respect. The chapter continues to talk about how husbands are to also show honor to their wives by loving and cherishing them.
But there is something unique about a section of today’s Scripture in which Peter says that we can win over our spouse without words by our behavior, which includes our pure and reverent lives for the Lord. While today’s specific verse is directed at wives, I believe this is a piece of wisdom that can be applied to both spouses and any relationship you have, especially with non-believers.
As believers, we are called to be set apart just as Jesus was. We are called to be lights in a dark world just as Jesus was. At times, we will be disliked or judged just as Jesus was by our behavior. We are called not to get caught up in the chaos with our words but rather to live a life of righteousness and wisdom. We are called to pray before speaking, just as Jesus always went away to pray.
While today’s verse is not saying never to communicate and speak what’s on our hearts in our marriage, it is saying that sometimes we can have so much more effectiveness by not saying anything at all. The Holy Spirit may guide us at times to speak, but there are times that call for us to live our lives for the Lord first and foremost and allow Him to lead us in what to speak or not speak. In doing this, today’s Scripture tells us we can greatly impact our marriage. It is through our faith and the reverent way we are living through our conduct and actions that we can win over our spouses more effectively than with our words.
There is a saying that actions speak louder than words, and today’s verse sheds some light on that saying. It is through our faithful actions, which involve our fear of the Lord, that we can win our spouses over. Let’s shift our hearts and minds to this lifestyle of becoming more like Jesus.
Let’s pray.
Dear Lord,
Please forgive us for often speaking before we think. Your Word talks about wisdom versus foolishness, and in more cases than not, wisdom comes from talking less. Forgive us for not seeking you first before we speak. Today’s Scripture is a reminder that we can greatly impact our spouses not by the words we speak, but rather by the actions we live. Lord, thank you for our spouse and the gift of marriage; remind us that our relationship with you comes first. Through our reverence and fear for you, our actions begin to change, and the more we seek and spend time with you, the more we become like you. We want to be more like you in our marriages and reflect you to our spouses in how we think, act, and respond. Help us to pray more for our spouses than we do speak in moments of anger or when emotions are rising. Prompt us in those moments to go to a quiet place just as Jesus often stepped away to pray for our spouse rather than speak our minds right away. We can walk more in the Spirit and not our flesh by deepening our relationship with you. Examine our hearts, Lord, and show us areas we need to start speaking less and seeking you more. Thank you for your Word in the Bible and for leaving us with the greatest handbook for marriages in the pages of Scripture. Bless our marriage today. We love you, Lord, and we want to show you more in our marriage to our spouse and those around us.
In your name, we pray,
Amen
Challenge questions:
What is on your mind that you want to speak with your spouse about? Have you sought the Lord first on what to say or not to say?
Application:
Try praying for your spouse instead of trying to change them.
Try wrestling with God before going into a wrestling match with your spouse.
Show your spouse you love and respect them through action, not words.
Focus on the Lord first as your Maker and fill your cup with Him before you turn to your spouse for that fulfillment or answers.
Take inventory by journaling what the Lord reveals to you. Do you notice that God has softened your heart for your spouse by seeking Him first?
Alisha Headley is a writer + speaker who has a desire to meet the everyday woman in her everyday life with biblical truth. Stepping into her true calling, she left the corporate world behind as a former-financial VP to love on her family as a stay-at-home wifey + dog mama, while also being able to pursue her passion as a writer. Healing from a chapter of life consumed with lies she once believed about herself, she is inspired to point women to Christ to experience the freedom + power to overcome those lies with the truth written in God’s word. In her free time, Alisha enjoys road trips around the country, working out so she can eat her favorite foods, and creatively styling her outfits with a craft for fashion. Alisha is a proud wifey and dog mama living in Scottsdale, Arizona.
You can follow her blog by visiting her website or connect with her on facebook + instagram.
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