“I’m so lonely.”
Those sad words spoken by an elderly woman at my church when I was a teenager have never been forgotten. Her pale blue eyes were etched with the pain of loneliness. To this day, her words ring in my ears and it’s a good forty years since she said them.
The reason it’s etched into my memory, I believe, is because I felt her pain.
Honestly, I was young and couldn’t really relate to loneliness the way she described it because, at the time, I lived in a small house, cram-packed with kids. We even shared bedrooms, and it was hard for me to have a moment to myself. Often, I escaped mentally by reading pretty much anything I could get my hands on. I loved a good book. This was one way for an introvert like me, living in a boisterous family, to do something alone. I had the opposite problem from the desperately lonely lady at church. I needed some alone time.
But I’ve trekked through life a good way since then and now, I understand more of the pain she experienced in her old age. She spent her days, nights, and weekends alone, for the most part. She wasn’t married and had no children. She was lonely.
These days, isolation is pretty much an epidemic. We’re more connected electronically than ever but still we’re suffering with more loneliness. It’s strange.
In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General released an advisory on the epidemic of loneliness and ways to improve our isolation. Research shows loneliness can lead to serious illnesses such as depression, dementia, heart disease, and stroke (just to name a few).
Sometimes, there’s no getting around it. We can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. We need comfort and connection. Without it, we can become depressed.
The truth is, no matter how isolated we feel, God is always with us. He never leaves us. Because of the indwelling Holy Spirit, we’re never alone.
Here are 3 ways to help overcome loneliness through faith:
1. Seek Him in the Sadness
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6
When we’re lonely or down, it can be easy to think about our problems more than we think about God.
We get wrapped up in our own bad feelings and can begin speaking to ourselves in negative ways. We may believe nobody cares or no one loves us. If they loved me, they’d come and visit me or call more often.
We need to get grounded in what God says and stop beating ourselves up with things that more than likely aren’t even true.
When we turn our thoughts toward God and all He’s done for us, our hearts will fill with gratitude, even if we’re lonely.
Seek Him in the sadness. The more we seek Him, the more we’ll think about Him, leading to praise, which will leave less room in our hearts for despair.
2. Know Him in the Stillness
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
In our loneliness, we’ll probably experience some stillness. When we’re alone and seeking God, He’ll meet us in that place.
Most of my own amazing moments with God have been when I’m alone. Whether in prayer or reading my Bible, some of these moments have been life-changing and happened through surrender or revelation.
He meets us in our sadness or brokenness because He loves us more than anyone else ever could. We’re His precious child, and He cares so much about us.
He knows when we’re hurting. We weren’t planning on experiencing loneliness at this stage of life. Nobody warned us it was a thing, and it hurts.
We have a golden opportunity here to change our perspective. Quiet time with no interruptions – time to get to know our Father in a deeper way. We can grow our relationship with Him like never before. We need Him. He is truly the only One who can fill our deep need for companionship.
When we know Him in a deeper, more soul-satisfying way, we’ll be less lonely.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
3. Love Him in This Season of Life
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3
The more we know God because we’ve been seeking Him, the more we trust Him. The more we trust because He proves Himself to us repeatedly, the deeper we love Him.
Like a seed grows in the dark earth before sprouting, our faith grows in the dark valleys of life.
Reflect on how He’s gotten us through other life difficulties, and we know He will get us through this season of loneliness.
God knows we need companionship. We’re made for relationships. That’s one reason we have the Holy Spirit within us. He’s with us no matter what we go through in life.
Sometimes, He helps us get through a season of loneliness in other ways. We may need to reach out. Often, it’s good to get involved in something bigger than us. It can take our minds off our problems if we can help someone else in some small way.
A Few Suggestions to Help Alleviate Loneliness
Adopt a pet.
Let’s face it – who doesn’t love a little puppy following us all around the house? Where we go, they go. If we sit on the couch to relax, they climb right up in our lap. They love unconditionally. Just pick up a few treats at the store and we have a new best friend.
Schedule a lunch with a friend or relative.
Instead of waiting for someone to stop by or call, be vulnerable and reach out to someone you love. Ask to meet them for lunch or coffee. Then you’ll have something to look forward to, and they will, too.
Seek out like-minded folks, such as joining a writer’s or artist’s group.
If you have spare time and would like to meet some folks, try joining a local writer’s group or some other type of group. It’s a great way to meet like-minded people and to grow creatively. There are many crafty/artsy-type classes available if this is something that interests you.
Volunteer.
There are so many opportunities to volunteer. Churches, hospitals, and food pantries would be happy for the help.
Here are just a few more ideas:
- Get involved in church activities.
- Consider getting involved in a local Senior Center.
- Try gardening or growing plants indoors.
- Join a book club at the local library.
I love this quote by Dr. Henry Cloud:
“Overcoming loneliness requires courage: the courage to reach out, be vulnerable, and persist even when initial efforts fail. You have that courage within you. Every step toward connection – no matter how small – is a brave act that reshapes your relationships and inner world.” – Dr. Henry Cloud
Jesus withdrew to lonely places on purpose to pray. He set the perfect example for us, and lonely times are no different.
We’d be wise to do the same.
Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him. Psalm 4:3
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/PIKSEL
Melinda Eye Cooper grew up in the Missouri Ozarks but lives near Nashville, Tennessee with her family. She writes articles and devotions and has some fiction projects in the works. Melinda grew up in a large family and is number seven of ten children. Many of her devotions and stories are inspired from her childhood.
Melinda has been honored to be a Selah Awards finalist for online articles and was a finalist for the 2023 Writer of the Year Award with Serious Writer as well as a 2024 Semi-finalist for the ACFW Genesis Contest.
Visit her website here to receive blog posts via email. You can follow her on Facebook here or Instagram here.
Her book of articles and devotions is available here.