“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26
Yesterday, I snapped. It wasn’t pretty. My three daughters and I were supposed to meet my husband downtown for a baseball game. Believe it or not, I was actually looking forward to it. I guess because deep down I knew we needed some family bonding time. Yet somewhere between the startling morning of waking up to glaringly loud and chaotic sister rivalry to the unnerving afternoon that swept in teen disrespect and backtalk, I lost every desire to go.
Even still, I managed to keep my cool (sort of), and somehow got all my girls in the car with a GPS saying we would arrive “right on time,” which in my mind meant we were punctually late. Argh. The stage was being set up for me to blow a fuse or fall apart, and, well, that is exactly what happened.
We only got about halfway down the road, when a final brazen comment was hurled my way, sending me completely over the edge. Inside I was screaming, but outwardly, it triggered me to turn the car abruptly around, pull back into our driveway, hand over the keys to my 17-year-old, and simply (yet not so very nicely might I sadly add) state, “Go on without me. I’m tired.”
Ugh. I have officially entered “the death by a thousand cuts” era in motherhood, and I would be lying if I said words never hurt me, but the harsh words from my own flesh and blood that I thought I raised better can be downright brutal.
Maybe you are also in a season of motherhood that is utterly exhausting, grueling even, and you are weary, frustrated, tired, and you find yourself barely hanging on. Yep, I get that. I’m guessing when you envisioned motherhood, it didn’t come with the thought of tireless days where you would zombie walk into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee only to find you forgot to put the K-cup in the coffee machine. That’s what two hours of non-consecutive sleep does to you. It also didn’t come with the continuous fierce and loud squabbles between siblings, the lack of personal space, the physical overload and mental demands, or the beratement and negative jabs that get thrown your way. Nor did it come with feeling completely invisible and unappreciated.
Well, my sweet sister, as much as I would like to say it gets better in time, that’s not necessarily how this parenting gig works. It may differ from season to season, but when we are in hard seasons of motherhood, we must remember that we won’t stay there. That means there are good seasons too (Ecclesiastes 3:1)! So take heart and pay attention. There is so much to revel in from the unexpected snuggles and watching those monumental milestones to all the simply sweet moments in between. Then, before you know it, you come to the heartwarming realization that your kid is turning out to be pretty awesome!
Being a mother doesn’t stop us from living; it is our sole focus for living. Is it hard? Yes! Is it draining? Yes! Do we want to give up at times? Yes! But we also wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s in the hard seasons that we realize we are made for so much more! And it’s in the hard seasons that God whispers to us, asking to be invited into our weary hearts so that He can sing sweet praises over us.
Read Numbers 6:24-26, but this time, read it out loud. Did you hear the prayer of blessings over you?
Sweet momma, we aren’t called to be perfect; we are called to give glory to God, even in the most difficult of days, imperfectly adding rubies to our crown with every effort we put in. Then, we turn around and raise up our little tribe of precious people to do the same! God sees. He knows. And He hears the cries of your heart. The question is: Are you listening to Him and His sweet praises?
Faithful Father, thank You for the gift of my children and for the blessings that You pour over my family. I am so grateful that my reward doesn’t come from being a perfect mom, seeking kudos from my family or even my children, but comes solely from You! When I am overwhelmed and weary, failing to see the good, I ask that You draw close and send sweet reminders of Your unceasing love and faithfulness. Give me the strength to continue to do what is right, even when it is hard, and give me a fresh new perspective along with a heart to persevere. Please forgive me when I bend to selfishness or allow guilt to linger. In those times, help me seek Your mercy and grace. Thank you for Your abundant peace and comfort You sing over me in times of need. You are so very good to me. I love you! Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Jacoblund
Alicia Searl is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master’s in literacy. Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
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