Avoiding Half-Truths, White Lies, and Purposeful Omission
"All you need to say is simply 'Yes' or 'No'. Anything beyond this comes from the evil one." Matthew 5:37 NIV
"I'll just put this on my other card so my husband doesn't see how much I spent."
"I like to schedule the deliveries when I know my husband won't be home so he doesn't give me a hard time about the packages."
"Sometimes, I'll just spread out my new outfits; it's easier for my husband to digest if he only sees a few items at a time."
With smiles, we laughed about the creative ways we mask our love for a fashion or final sale find while passing the food around the table. We were all joking and assured one another that we weren't fooling our husbands; they knew what was happening. But I wondered why, if we were convinced our spouses knew about our expenditures, we felt the need to hide them or, at the very least, hold back.
Less you think I am writing with a critical eye, I readily acknowledge that there are areas in my marriage that I excuse away, neglect to mention, and purposefully avoid certain situations or conversations. I may not struggle with hiding purchases in the back of the closet, but on numerous occasions, I've struggled to "tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth."
White lies, lies of omission, and lies of exaggeration; no matter how small we may think they are, they are still lies. For most of us, even the smallest of lies we know are wrong, but we convince ourselves that it is for the best or not a big deal. But if it doesn't matter, why not tell the truth?
Matthew 5:37 admonishes us about our speech, "All you need to say is simply 'Yes' or 'No' anything beyond this comes from the evil one." In this context, Jesus speaks directly about using oaths or making promises you don't intend to keep. Jesus warns us of the common practice of saying, "I promise on my life "( or something else of importance). It's not just wrong but sinful to add to our commitments. If someone is of integrity and honor, they don't need to make additional promises to their obligations. Their word is enough. And since everything belongs to the Lord, offering up a sacrifice if they don't keep their word isn't theirs to give.
The bottom line is that if you say you will do something, you should do it. And if, for some reason, you aren't able to follow through with your commitment, you take responsibility. We can apply the same principle when we think about this in the context of half-truths or lies of omission in our marriage.
We don't need to expand or extract the truth if we strive to be trustworthy and upright in our marital unions. We don't need to think about creative ways to hide or avoid specific topics. We can be truthful and open with our spouses because we made a vow to honor one another before God.
Heavenly Father, we come before. I am grateful you are slow to anger and longsuffering with your children. Thank you for sending Jesus and giving us the Bible so we can learn to live according to Your commands. When we have consciously or by accident spread false information, we ask for forgiveness. And for those we have sinned against, guide our conversations as we seek restoration. In everything we do, may we question our motives, hold our thoughts captive, and look at our actions through the lens of Scripture. Let us be people who speak the truth, even when it could lead to conflict. Help us to be open and honest with our spouses in all areas. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Application:
Suppose you have a propensity to embellish or eliminate to keep the peace, and ask yourself why. Do the hard heart work, calling on the Holy Spirit to reveal why you need to hide, mask, or get creative in some regions of your marriage.
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Laura Bailey is an author and Bible teacher who encourages women to understand what they believe, why it matters, and how to apply biblical truths to their lives. Her recent book, Embracing Eternity in the Here and Now, explores how the timeless truths of Ecclesiastes help us live more peaceful, purposeful, and plentiful lives today.
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com
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