Navigating Differences in the Budget
By: Laura Bailey
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21 NIV
I love a good sale. One of the first things out of my mouth after receiving a compliment about something recently purchased is, "I only paid this much but was originally that much. My husband has informed me many times that there is no need to tell others the price I paid for something, but I just love telling what a great "deal" I got! But, most of the time, I usually didn't need the item, no matter how good the deal was.
My husband, who can stretch a dollar, pinch a penny, or just go without for most things, disagrees with my "it was such a deal, I couldn't pass it up" mentality. So, although I do not carry credit card debt or, by many people's standards, spend huge sums, I stand guilty of wasting money—which has been the source of numerous arguments in my marriage.
One day, after a day of bargain hunting, I came home excited to share my thrift finds with my husband. He was, as usual, less than amused, but I began to notice a different expression on his face. After a long sigh, he looked at me, surrounded by shopping bags, and asked, "What do you need from me? It's obvious I am not providing something you need by your constant desire to purchase items we don't have use for."
I'd never considered how my spending hobby affected my husband. It didn't occur to me that he would take personal offense or question his impact on my life because I loved a good deal. As we began to talk and work towards understanding where the other was coming from, I confessed that growing up, I always felt less than. I was cared for, but we never had the latest and greatest. We didn't have the closest overflowing or name brand, well, anything.
Now, I have everything I need and most of what I want. Yet, I feel compelled to buy more "stuff" when it goes on sale—why is that? I can only answer that I must still believe Satan's lies—that I am in competition with those around me, allowing insecure feelings as a little girl to continue to rule my actions as a grown woman.
This is a heart issue because I focus on earthly goods instead of my Heavenly Father. It seems I am not the only person struggling with this issue, for the Bible is very clear about this topic: Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
We know there's nothing inherently wrong with snagging a good deal, buying shirts in multiple colors, or purchasing things we may want but don't necessarily need. The problem is when we make an idol of possession, allowing them to have control over our hearts and minds. In our marriages, where we are linked financially, we must be on the same page regarding our spending habits.
Graciously, my husband and I got to the root of my frivolous spending. By understanding more of where each person was coming from, we could strike a balance over our expenditures. For me, that meant avoiding situations that might encourage excessive purchases. For him, it meant realizing there are times when we need to spend money; the world wouldn't end because we made a purchase.
Disagreements over finances are one of the main reasons couples argue, and if left unchecked, they could lead to separation. Let's work together to understand each other's views on money and communicate and compromise as we navigate the budget.
Heavenly Father, Scripture speaks a lot about the dangers of money, possessions, and allowing temporary things to distract us from the eternal. We ask that you guard our hearts and that we steward our resources well. Please be with us as we work with our spouses to plan our budgets. Help us remember that we don't have to look to stuff for validation, and the number in our bank account doesn't define our worth. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Application:
Do you and your spouse ever disagree over spending or saving habits? Take some time to talk with your spouse or partner about your preferences and thoughts about your family's finances.
Laura Bailey is an author and Bible teacher who encourages women to understand what they believe, why it matters, and how to apply biblical truths to their lives. Her recent book, Embracing Eternity in the Here and Now, explores how the timeless truths of Ecclesiastes help us live more peaceful, purposeful, and plentiful lives today.
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com
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