The Benefits of Knowing Love Languages as Empty Nesters
By: Carrie Lowrance
"Love means doing what God commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you heard from the beginning." (2 John 1:6)
For most people, raising kids is a joy. There are lots of special moments and memories, and even some trying times as well. I'm not a parent myself, but I know many people who are, and they often struggle for a bit when the kids leave home. Most couples aren't sure what to do next because they have functioned as a family unit for so long. It's a change going back to being only the two of them in the house.
Therefore, knowing each other's love language is so important. What is a love language? Author Gary Chapman talks about five specific love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Let's dive a little deeper. What do these love languages mean?
Words of Affirmation: If this is your spouse's love language, this means they like compliments. They thrive on positive words of support and compliments. Things like, "You are going to ace that interview today." Or "No matter how this works out, we'll get through it." or "I'm speechless. That dress looks spectacular on you." If this makes you feel happiest, this may be your specific love language.
Acts of Service: Your partner thrives on you helping them. They love it when you help them with different things. At home, this could be packing the kids' lunches the night before, helping fold laundry, or helping clean the house. It could also be making sure his or her car has gas, that it gets to the garage for maintenance or repairs, or even taking the kids off his or her hands for a few hours on the weekend. Acts of service don't have to be huge, they just have to be heartfelt. If these kinds of things make you happy, acts of service may be your love language.
Receiving Gifts: Does this mean your spouse is materialistic? Not at all. When someone's love language is receiving gifts, they love getting small, thoughtful gifts from you. Gifts that have heart and meaning. Things like a single bottle of their favorite soda and their favorite candy bar when they have had a bad day. A bouquet just because. A gift card to their favorite coffee shop so they can stop in the morning and get coffee. This doesn't mean extravagant jewelry and trips and all that. The smallest gifts are sometimes the best. If you love it when your spouse brings you gifts just because, receiving gifts may be your love language.
Quality Time: This means your spouse loves spending time with you. They thrive on your undivided attention; you have meaningful conversations and take part in fun activities. This could mean cuddling on the couch, going on a trip you have always wanted to take, or having a meaningful discussion about your hopes and dreams for the future. If you bask in spending time with your significant other, quality time is your love language.
Physical Touch: If you love physical touch, such as holding hands, kissing, and hugging, then physical touch may be your love language. Staying in bed all morning or holding hands while shopping are great examples of this. How does it make you feel? If this makes you happiest, you know what your love language is.
Why is this important?
As empty nesters, it's as if you're getting to know each other all over again. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with your relationship or that things were bad before the kids left. It just means you have more time to focus on one another. Therefore, knowing each other's love language is important. It will bring you closer together, and you will know how to love each other better.
Prayer:
Dear Lord,
I thank you for my spouse and this new chapter we are embarking on together. I'm grateful that we can start getting to know each other even better by learning about the five love languages and which one best fits both of us. Please lead us on our journey ahead and show us where we should go and what we should be doing. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Application and Challenge Questions:
Here are some things you can do to help understand each other better.
-Discuss the five love languages and see if you can determine which one suits your spouse best.
-Get two copies of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and read it together.
-Once you find out your love languages, talk to each other about it.
-Put those love languages into practice often.
We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.