A Prayer for Dealing with Family Rejection This Holiday Season
By Jessica Van Roekel
Bible Reading:
“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” - Colossians 3:13
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One of the best times of the year can also be one of the most difficult. Harvest décor leads into Christmas bells and lights. We fill the calendar slots with parties and events. This can create a low-level hum of anxiety if the upcoming family get-togethers feel like a risky walk through a minefield.
Rejection is part of this life, but the closer we are to the person or persons with whom we reject or feel rejected, the greater the pain. It’s hard to share a meal with someone who has rejected you or, even worse, to be uninvited to the long-standing family dinner. The heartache makes it feel impossible to show God’s love to our family member, but God specializes in the impossible. If you’re dealing with the heartbreak of family rejection this holiday season, remember God’s faithfulness, who you are to him, and the power of forgiveness.
We have evidence of God’s faithfulness from the opening act in Genesis to the finale in Revelation. Deuteronomy 7:9 explains it brilliantly, “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.” God is a personal God, invested in the details of our lives. He cares about our relationships and our broken hearts. He comes along side us to wrap us in his steadfast love to give us the courage we need when we face family rejection.
In the Old Testament, God calls the Israelites his chosen people. The New Testament reveals Jesus’ purpose to bring all people into a relationship with God through his death and resurrection. Those who believe in and follow Jesus Christ are God’s chosen ones and are set apart for God and his purposes. 1 Peter 2:9 declares our identity, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”
Because we are a “holy nation” we are to reflect his glory and to spread his message of salvation in a way that brings praise and honor to him. We can respond to our difficult family members because of who God says we are. Resting in God’s approval of us enables us to pray for our loved ones, to encourage them when we can, and step into living right before God. These facts bring today’s verse, Colossians 3:13, to life. The Greek term “forgive” is used in various forms throughout the New Testament. It sometimes means to “let go,” to “leave behind,” to “dismiss,” and to “cancel a debt.” Jesus teaches us that we need to be willing to forgive. When we resist forgiveness, the result is bitterness and resentment, which fails to reflect God’s character in our lives.
When our hearts break over family rejection, forgiveness seems like the riskiest mountain we must climb, but with God, it moves from the impossible to the possible. Because of his faithfulness to his steadfast love, we can remember we are loved even when we feel we are not. We can find our confidence in who he says we are, not in what a family member may say. And finally, because of the power of God within us, we can extend forgiveness even if we don’t experience reconciliation this holiday season.
Let’s pray:
Holy God,
You see my broken heart about this family situation. You see my fears about what will be said or done. I feel so rejected and I don’t know how to handle it this holiday season. You are faithful and steadfast, and I choose to rely on you. You kept your covenants to Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and fulfilled all your promises in Jesus Christ. I know you will be faithful to me in this painful situation with my family. When I feel rejected, remind me of who I am to you. I am chosen, treasured, and welcome in your presence. Be my friend and draw ever closer to me this holiday season. Help me to pray for the family member who makes me feel rejected, and help me place them in your loving hands. You love us both and desire a relationship with you. Guide my words and guide my heart to forgiveness. Search my heart for any bitterness and wash me clean so I can let go of the hurt and the pain, and trust you for any future relationships. Lord, I believe you’re going to work in a mighty way in my heart, and I trust my family with you.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/tommaso79
Jessica Van Roekel loves the upside-down life of following Jesus as she journeys to wholeness through brokenness. As an author, speaker, and worship leader, she uses her gifts and experiences to share God’s transformative power to rescue, restore, and renew. She longs for you to know that rejection doesn’t have to define or determine your future when placed in God’s healing hands. Find out more reframingrejectionbook.
Editor's Note: We're proud to announce we've just launched a new nighttime companion to Your Daily Prayer: the Your Nightly Prayer devotional. You'll soon be able to subscribe to receive Your Nightly Prayer via email, or as a podcast, but for now you can find it on the website at crosswalk.com/devotionals/your-nightly-prayer. We hope it's a relaxing and soothing way to wind down your day with rich meditations on who God is.
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