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How to Support Those Mourning during the Holidays

Dr. James Emery White

The staff of our church gather first thing every Monday morning for a time of prayer. Each week, it is led by a different staff member. We pray for upcoming events, celebrate God’s work, pray for members of our faith community, and more.

This week our time of prayer was led by a young woman who leads our Grounds Bookstore and Café. She opened by saying: “Fast fact: the bestselling book this month is about handling grief during the holidays. A different book, but on the same subject, was the bestselling book last December, too. Let’s pray for those who are dealing with grief during this time that, for most of us, is marked by happiness.”

I was stunned. After our time together, I went immediately to The Grounds and asked to see the two books. As I leafed through the contents, I was struck by so many different words and phrases:

… an empty chair

… sorting through the ashes

… when holidays hurt

… Christmas in the Shadowlands

… the dance of grief and gratitude

I was particularly struck by “the empty chair.” My spouse of more than 40 years will be sitting around each and every Christmas table gathering, as will each of my four children and 16 grandchildren. There will be no empty chairs marked by grief and sadness, loss and emptiness. I can only imagine that if there were, how acute it would be during this time of the year.

During our time of prayer, I prayed for everyone I could think of, by name, with an empty chair. I prayed for those whose names I don’t know. I asked God to be with them, to give them a special sense of His presence and comfort. That there could be, as one of the book’s subtitles put it, “hidden hope amid pain and loss.”

Perhaps you could think of a few people yourself and pray for them.   

And if you’re one with an empty chair,

… know that you were prayed for today.

James Emery White

Sources

Susan J. Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert C. De Vries, The Empty Chair: Handling Grief on Holidays and Special Occasions.

Bo Stern, When Holidays Hurt: Finding Hidden Hope Amid Pain and Loss.

Photo Courtesy: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Kerkez

Published Date: December 12, 2024

James Emery White is the founding and senior pastor of Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, NC, and a former professor of theology and culture at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he also served as their fourth president. His latest book, Hybrid Church: Rethinking the Church for a Post-Christian Digital Age, is now available on Amazon or from your favorite bookseller. To enjoy a free subscription to the Church & Culture blog, visit churchandculture.org where you can view past blogs in our archive, read the latest church and culture news from around the world, and listen to the Church & Culture Podcast. Follow Dr. White on XFacebook, and Instagram at @JamesEmeryWhite.