10 Acts of Kindness to Strengthen Your Marriage This Christmas

1. Give Them Permission to Let Go

Is your spouse holding on to past regrets, current stressors, or future worries? Give them permission to let go by reminding them you're in it together. Encourage them to take a deep breath and release every concern to the Lord because He cares for them.

Galatians 6:2 mentions the kindness of bearing each other's burdens: "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." Be the proverbial shoulder they can cry on, the first person they turn to, and the one who reminds them they're not alone.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." You are stronger together—with God and each other. Kindly reminding your spouse of this will help deepen your relationship and create a certain closeness through the holiday.

2. Complete a Task They've Been Dreading

There's always a dreaded task that needs to be done at Christmas, whether it's cleaning the baseboards so Aunt Doris won't think you're filthy or getting the car detailed before traveling. Whatever the task, take it upon yourself to complete it as an act of kindness for your spouse.

In the post, "Should Wives Really Do All the Chores?" May Patterson writes, "We support each other by keeping each other's preferences in mind…When he or she seems overwhelmed with chores and responsibilities, ask: 'What one thing would help you the most today?'"

That simple question can relieve your spouse of an unnecessary weight so they can focus on other things. Imagine the joy on their face as you offer to handle the dreaded task for them. Relieving stress at Christmas might be the best gift you could give!

3. Offer Genuine Compliments

Whether or not words of affirmation come easy for you, your spouse needs to hear genuine compliments that emphasize their achievements, strengths, and appearance. Affirming them might include:

-Acknowledging their thoughtfulness

-Praising their talents

-Appreciating their hard work

-Admiring their integrity

-Recognizing a new hairstyle or outfit

Genuine compliments are acts of kindness that extend well beyond the holiday season, and your spouse will thrive with newfound confidence as each affirmation is given.

4. Leave Post-It Note Prayers

Imagine looking in the mirror one morning to find a handwritten prayer from your spouse. What a precious blessing that would be! These prayers are invaluable, surpassing all other acts of kindness. They encourage, uplift, and inspire, building deeper love and trust.

In the article "30 Days of Marriage Prayers for a Stronger, Healthier Relationship," Michael and Carlie Kercheval write, "Prayers for a stronger marriage are a powerful force that can help create a solid, life-long marriage bond."

Let the powerful blessing of prayer become an ongoing practice. Pray for your spouse in secret and pray for them openly. Trust the Lord to strengthen your marriage as you reach out to Him with heartfelt gratitude and intercession for your beloved.

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5. Plan a Girl's/Guy's Night Out

Preparing for the holidays is no joke; our endless to-do list threatens to undo us if we're not careful. That's why planning for a girl's or guy's night out will provide your spouse with a much-needed break and opportunity to unwind.

Consider giving a card that includes spending money and a "free pass" for a fun evening with friends. If needed, call on your spouse's buddies to make the arrangements to ensure everything goes smoothly.

Time out with your inner circle can make the holidays less stressful and much more enjoyable. So, mark a date on the calendar when you can gift your spouse an evening to recharge. They will love it!

6. Have Coffee with Your Friend

It's often the simplest acts of kindness that make all the difference. If you're used to rushing out the door in the morning, carve out a little extra time to sip coffee together and talk about your day. Intentional moments like these will help you stay connected through the holidays, reminding you of what's most important.

Consider making breakfast or packing your spouse's lunch. These added touches will start their day with joy, fueling them for the workday ahead. Think of it as "coffee with a friend," your very best friend on earth.

7. Give Them a Day Off

What could it mean to your spouse to have an entire day to themselves? No worries, no responsibilities, and no expectations. Give your spouse the gift of time, encouraging them to refresh and refuel before the holiday rush. Assure them the kids are cared for, the chores are done, and they are free to enjoy.

Ultimately, encouraging self-care is a way to show your spouse how valuable they are and that you respect their tireless efforts. Permission to rest means more than you realize, and it's a selfless way to show kindness at Christmas.

8. Send an Audio Message

We're used to texting our spouses, reminding them to mail that package or swing by the grocery store. But how often do we send an audio message to say, "I'm thinking about you"?

Get in the habit of recording love notes for your spouse and sending them throughout the day. Especially at Christmas, remind them of how much you appreciate them, value them, and look forward to spending time with them.

This is an easy way to strengthen your marriage and deepen your communication. So, send that audio message today!

9. Thank God for Them

If you're like me, you thank God for many things, but your spouse sometimes falls to the bottom of the list. Yet, our spouses bless us with a oneness like no other. They're the ones who know us intimately, see our faults, and love us anyway.

So, when it comes to your spouse, what are you most thankful for? Try listing what you love about them and thank God for one blessing each day. Ask the Lord to speak into your marriage, drawing you closer with genuine appreciation for one another.

Thankfulness is an act of kindness like no other, and showing humble gratitude for our spouse is a beautiful, ongoing gift.

10. Give Chocolate (Because What Else Is There?)

When my husband and I were newlyweds, I mistakenly gave him the idea that flowers weren't important to me. I remember saying something like, "They just die anyway, so why spend the money?" Fast-forward a few years, and I felt downright hurt that he hadn't bought me flowers!

Even the smallest gifts to say, "I'm thinking of you," can strengthen your bond and make the other person feel loved. Consider surprising your spouse with a gift unrelated to Christmas or their birthday. Here are a few fun ideas:

-Show up at their workplace with balloons and flowers "just because."

-Leave a coffee shop gift card next to the coffee maker.

-Purchase movie tickets complete with popcorn and candy.

-Put Hershey's Kisses on their pillow.

-Buy a scarf/hat set with a note that says, "You warm my heart."

Acts of kindness aren't difficult, but they do require a bit of intentionality. Carve out a few minutes this week to jot down ten ways you can bless your spouse with love and kindness this Christmas. Every marriage needs strengthening, and it's the small, daily investments that yield the greatest results. Let this Christmas be the start of something new, and watch your marriage flourish!