10 Deal Breakers Christians Should Have When Dating

1. Failure to communicate effectively.

Communication is a key factor in any relationship. However, communicating effectively is an art that must be learned, practiced, and properly executed when dating. This form of art includes having the ability to clearly express oneself. Letting your partner know what you need, how certain things make you feel, and what you like and dislike are essential factors when it comes to exercising effective communication. It also includes actively and attentively listening to each other. Making eye contact, listening to understand not simply to respond, and giving your partner your undivided attention when they are speaking. It also includes timely responsiveness to text messages, phone calls, and answers to questions. If your partner does not value communication or fails to communicate with you properly, this is a red flag that cannot be ignored, and you should move forward.

2. Not knowing how to pray for himself or others.

Prayer is communication with God on behalf of yourself and others. It is personal time spent with the Father to adore Him, confess your sins, give Him thanks, submit your needs to Him, and intercede for others. As a sacred time of communication, it's important for the person you are involved with to know and understand the value of prayer for themselves, for you, and for your relationship. At the beginning of your involvement, ask your potential partner if they have an established prayer life. Observing them during prayer is important to see how they communicate with God. Having your partner know and understand the value of prayer is essential to the life of your relationship.

3. Dishonoring your boundaries and beliefs.

Boundaries and beliefs are set in place for a reason, and they should be respected. Many people set boundaries based on their beliefs and personal needs as a means of showing people the way they desire to be treated. If you are involved with someone in any relationship, and they do not respect your boundaries, then respectfully walk away from the relationship. Not only this, but if a person you are dating does not respect your beliefs as they pertain to your lifestyle, then a relationship with them will be difficult and uncomfortable for you and your partner. It's important to make your beliefs, boundaries, and values clear to your partner so they will understand who you are and how to treat you.

4. Not having the same morals and values.

Morals and values are the heart of who a person is. Your religious practices, the company you keep, your beliefs, and how you manage your finances. While some may differ, as they should, it is important that your non-negotiable values are the same with someone you are pursuing a relationship with. If not, then move forward without them, respectfully.

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5. Being unequally yoked with someone.

This is a big one. The Bible encourages and teaches believers not to dwell with nonbelievers. However, this did not mean isolating yourselves from them, but meant not engaging in personal relationships with them so that your faith would not be hindered or challenged. While this can be true, believers must be cautious of believers with whom they think they are equally yoked. Just because someone attends church and is active in ministry does not mean that their character is that of Christ. It's important to carefully watch someone's behaviors and be mindful of the way they live their life beyond church walls. It's also important to view them with a Christlike view, and not that of your own.

6. The need to rush into marriage.

It may be for superficial reasons if someone is rushing to run down the aisle with you. They may need a place to live, they may be financially insecure, they may have unhealthy emotional attachments, or they may believe that marriage can fix many of their emotional problems. While many singles long to be married, it's important not to rush into a major commitment like marriage for superficial reasons that will only benefit one person. Marriage is a union that should be honored and upheld with biblical principles and standards. If a potential partner is attempting to rush into it, it may be in your best interest to head for the hills!

7. Having different priorities.

Everyone has priorities in their life. As an individual, your priorities may differ from others, and that's perfectly fine. However, when partnering with someone in a healthy relationship, agreeing on priorities is important. In any relationship, effective communication is key. So, if you are actively pursuing a healthy relationship with someone, it's essential to communicate your priorities for the relationship and beyond with your partner.

8. Insecure in their faith.

Knowing who you are in Christ is important to how you live your life. A huge part of being secure in your faith is knowing how valuable you are to Christ and how to clearly define your faith. Being secure in your faith is something that all believers should be. If you are involved with someone whose faith is wavering, you have the choice to stay with them and be an example of a Christian who is secure in their faith, or you have the option to walk away.

9. Relationship hoppers.

If you are interested in someone who has gone from one relationship to another in a short period, run! This person has not taken the time to heal from their previous encounter and may seek something in you that they desire from someone else. Not only this, but they may have issues with commitment. While dating is the process of spending time with someone to see if you are compatible with them, part of this process is to take time to heal yourself from your past and focus on making a commitment with someone.

10. Fails to practice sexual discipline.

Sex and sexuality are something the church doesn't discuss often. However, believers know and understand that sex outside of marriage goes against biblical principles and standards. If you are involved with someone who desires sex more than they desire a meaningful relationship, then it's time to let them go because they can tempt you into engaging in immoral sexual behavior.

As believers, it's important to have deal breakers to guide you on who you decide to bring into your life. They help you know what's important to you and keep you from settling for less than what you deserve. If you are uncertain about your desires, the best thing to do is carefully, prayerfully, and actively date on your own terms to see what your needs are.

As you continue dating, I pray that you are clear on what you need and deserve in any relationship.