10 Lies Women Believe about Motherhood

10 Lies Women Believe about Motherhood

God gives us a weapon to combat every lie we believe. In His Word, we find a truth to parry each falsehood.

Lie: I need to find and follow the perfect parenting method.

Truth: Mothers need to rely on the Holy Spirit for parenting wisdom.

While the Bible outlines principles for bringing up children, God specifically chose not to provide a detailed playbook. We have something far better. His Holy Spirit gives wisdom for parenting that is tailored to the exact needs of our kids. He knows the intricate details of each one He created as well as their past, present, and future. He guides us to strike the best balance between love and discipline that will address the deepest needs of our children.

Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. (Galatians 5:25 NLT)

Lie: My fulfillment comes from raising children.

Truth: A woman’s fulfillment comes from embracing God’s will for her life.

Though not all women will become mothers, all women may lead fulfilled lives. God plans the path for us according to His good purposes. For many women, His sovereignty includes motherhood. Others walk a road that does not include children. Both journeys mingle joy and sorrow. Both include pain. True fulfillment, or satisfaction, comes from knowing God, living in His presence, and following His ways through Jesus Christ.

You [God] will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. (Psalm 16:11 NLT)

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Lie: Everyone else has perfect kids.

Truth: All families struggle with sin.

No family is perfect, but we cannot allow this truth to console us as mothers. When we compare ourselves to other families, jealousy and covetousness dominate our thinking rather than pleasing God. Comparisons detract from our dependence on God.

In all aspects of motherhood, we want to imitate Christ. Yes, we can learn from the examples of other moms, but we must be careful to choose those who transparently showcase God’s grace within their imperfect parenting.

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. (Galatians 6:4-5 NLT)

Lie: I don’t have a real job as a stay-at-home mom.

Truth: Motherhood is arguably the most influential position in the world.

“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” is an adage from a similar poem written by William Ross Wallace. He extolled the ability of mothers to shape the future through the values they instill in their children.

I agree with those who say motherhood is the most difficult job in the world. The hours are long, the pay is short, and there’s no sure return on a decades-long investment. Yet God entrusted this influential work to women. We can be certain He empowers us and eternally rewards our acts of service to Him through mothering our children.

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. (Proverbs 22:6 NLT)

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Lie: Kids need moms less as they grow older and go to school.

Truth: Mothers are needed equally, though differently, throughout a child’s development.

The physical aspect of care decreases in older stages of development, but our kids continue to need us in different ways just as much as when they were young. As we stay engaged in parenting, we model how to be an adult and how to trust God. As their world seems to turn upside-down during tumultuous teen years, we provide thoughtful boundaries and consistent love. We can’t accomplish this type of hands-on parenting without investing a great deal of time.

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. (Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT)

Lie: I don’t have what it takes to be a good mother.

Truth: With God, mothers have all they need.

If we try to mother in our own strength without depending on God, our resources are indeed meager. We will never have enough. But when we abandon self-reliance, we find God provides for all our needs. We can bring Him into the circle of any problem we encounter and wait for Him to help us. His timing may not agree with our timetable. Nevertheless, it’s perfect. When we don’t know what to do, we can ask for wisdom, and He will always give more than enough. He carries our burdens and gives us rest and confidence in His presence.

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:12-13 NLT)

Lie: I gave up my own identity when I became a mom.

Truth: In Christ, each mother is identified as a unique child of God.

The calling of motherhood does not create our identity or value. The only sure foundation for our identity comes from God’s Word. He says we are His beloved children if we have trusted Jesus as our Savior. His delight in us does not fluctuate based on our successes or mistakes as moms. We can build our lives on His eternal labels that truly matter rather than our temporal roles.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Ephesians 1:4-5 NLT)

Lie: No one sees the work I do as a mom.

Truth: God sees and values the sacrifices of every mother.

God, who never sleeps, sees all we do. He delights in our efforts and has compassion when we cry out to Him in need. His Spirit within us encourages us to persevere and trust Him.

But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. (Psalm 33:18 NLT)

Lie: How my kids turn out all depends on me.

Truth: God guides the steps of our children.

While God has delegated the responsibility to love and nurture our kids, He’s not an absentee Father. He always remains in control. His involvement in their lives is constant and careful. As their perfect Father, God ordains experiences that will point them to Jesus for salvation. Undoubtedly, they will suffer some hardship along the way. With prayer, we can trust the Good Shepherd to guide them through.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” (Psalm 32:8 NLT)

Lie: My kids won’t need me anymore when they grow up.

Truth: Adult children always need the love and support of their mothers.

When our children leap from the nest and fly, we can rejoice and trust the relationship will not be lost. Though our role changes with adult children, we’re not out of a job. As they step into their new season of life, we move from authority to advisor. We also have the privilege to continue to model trust in God to them and to future grandchildren.

Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green. They will declare, “The Lord is just! He is my rock! There is no evil in him!” (Psalm 92:14-15 NLT)

Hold Onto Truth about Motherhood

Parenting is hard work. In a recent Pew Research poll1, almost ninety percent of mothers said raising children has been more difficult than they expected. My own experience agrees with this vast majority. The lies I believed exacerbated my feelings of inadequacy and stifled my joy.

If you’re mothering your children with the lead weight of lies dragging you down—or if you know someone who is—combat each deception with truth from God’s Word.

Source:^{: 1}https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/