10 Must-Know Tips to Be a Supportive Grandparent

1. Listen to Your Children

One way to be a supportive grandparent is to listen to your children. When we listen to each other, it helps us communicate more effectively. We should prioritize focusing on each other in a society where we are constantly distracted by phones and the internet.

When talking with your children, be honest about any regrets you have and other worries or issues that you have. Ensure you also listen to your children about what they want and need from you. When speaking with your loved ones, make sure everyone has a say, even your grandchildren. This way, everyone will feel loved and supported.

2. Respect Your Children

Always respect your adult children, even if you disagree with their choices. It's hard to navigate a difference of opinion about what is right for your grandchildren. Instead of getting into an argument, think about what actions will show your love and respect for both your children and grandchildren.

Parents know what they need; there is nothing wrong with offering advice, but most of the time, parents know what they need. As you know, parenting is a hard job. Instead of assuming what your children need, ask them. You will probably get responses like needing reassurance that they are wonderful parents or needing a break or don't make us feel like we don't know what we're doing because you have more experience.

3. Always Agree with Your Adult Children

Your parenting styles may likely differ from how your children parent. And that's okay. Everyone does things differently. One thing you never want to do is disagree with your child's parenting style in front of your grandchildren. If there is an issue, set up a time to discuss things in private.

4. Don't Undermine Your Kids

It's easy to spoil your grandkids. It's what you do, right? There is nothing wrong with this within reason. However, it is still important not to undermine the rules your grandkids live by daily.

If they go to bed at a certain time, don't let them stay up late. Don't feed them desserts and goodies all the time. If your children don't allow video games, certain kinds of music or movies, or foods, don't make them available to your grandkids. Doing the opposite will damage your relationship with your children, which isn't worth it, no matter how much your grandchildren try to reason or talk you into bending the rules.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/andreswd

5. Tell Your Grandchildren Fun Stories about Your Life

Telling your grandkids stories about your life is a great way to be a supportive grandparent. It will help them learn more about your family history and where they came from. They will love hearing stories about your parents, funny things and experiences you've had with your relatives, and even stories about them when they were little.

6. Show Your Adult Kids and Their Spouses Love

Always show your kids and their spouse love in front of your grandchildren. This could be something small, like always greeting them with a hug or something more significant, like bringing over some homemade food or helping them with a chore or project.

As Christians, we are called to love those around us. This can be difficult if your adult children are not conducting their lives in a godly manner or you don't care for their spouse for different reasons.

It is important to model loving behavior towards all people to your grandchildren. This way, they will know how to treat their friends, those in authority, and their parents.

7. Don't Overindulge Your Grandchildren

As grandparents, you feel it's your job to indulge your grandkids. And you should, to an extent. Still, overindulging them can lead to problems. They will come to expect that toy, dessert after dinner, or extra TV time all the time. Instead of indulging them with stuff, focus more on the experiences you can have with them over the things you can buy them.

They will appreciate spending more time with you over all the gifts in the world. You can open up their world to new experiences they may not have with their parents. Things like learning to do something together, taking a day trip to a special event, or even a vacation across the country are great experiences for kids. They can learn something new, see new things, and hang out with their favorite people. You.

8. Stay Involved

It is important to be involved in your kids' and grandkids' lives. When they have an issue, sit down with them and actively listen. Ask questions for clarity and let them talk until they are done. Don't interrupt or offer advice right away.

Instead, ask them what they need before you even start your conversation. Sometimes, they will want advice, and other times, they will just need someone to listen to or a shoulder to cry on.

9. Make Your Home Comfortable

Kids love spending a few days away from home, so make your home comfortable for them. Spruce up a room that is all theirs where they can sleep and also play. If possible, have them keep some of their toys and outfits at your house to make packing a bag easier.

Make their favorite meals and a special sweet treat. Most of all, spend lots of one-on-one time with them at your house. Have everyone set aside their electronics and focus on being together during this time. It's important to make your home a comfortable place for your grandchildren to visit so they feel like it's their home away from home.

To make things even more special, take them shopping to pick out their bedding and other things for their room, making it an even more special place when they visit.

10. Play with Your Grandchildren

Another great way to be a supportive grandparent is to play with your grandchildren. This is something they may or may not get to do often with their parents, which can be a good thing in a way because it's something special that you can share.

By playing with your grandchildren, you show them that play is still an important part of your life even though you are older. It teaches them that play should still be part of daily life, no matter how old you are. This keeps them connected with their inner child and helps them maintain a happy life.

The best part? There are all kinds of ways you can play with your grandchildren. With babies and toddlers you can have mutual tummy time (with babies) and play with blocks and other fun interactive toys. With older kids you can do crafts, cook or bake together, do art, write a story together, play with superheroes or barbie dolls, and other fun toys. As for teenagers, you can go ATVing or play a sport together, make fun videos for social media together, or even take a class to learn something together. You are bound to have fun and learn something new while playing with your grandchildren.

You can also have fun going out together. You can go to a concert, theater production, a traveling art exhibit (think The Van Gogh Experience), or a cat cafe with your older grandchildren.

For younger kids, you can go to museums or the planetarium, go swimming or hiking, volunteer somewhere, help plant a community garden, go to a favorite restaurant for a meal, or the local ice cream parlor for a treat.

There is no limit to the ways you can have fun with your grandchildren.

Your family is very important to you, especially as you grow older. Watching your kids raise their own kids can be a satisfying and interesting experience, especially if your parenting styles are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

However, you can still be a supportive grandparent. You must always remember love, respect, and listening are key elements. There may be times when you don't want to do these things. When you start to feel like that, pause and reflect on a time when your kids did that to you and how it felt. This is not the time to do the same out of past frustration or spite. This will only damage your relationship, not help. Instead, listen, show love and respect, and always be involved in your grandkids' lives. When you do these things, your relationships with your family bonds will be stronger and you will have fun experiences with everyone.