10 Positive Changes to Make in Your Marriage This Year

1. Communicate

Communication is the key to everything. We are not mind readers. It’s important to tell your partner what you want and need. If you need more help around the house, let them know. If you would like to go to a specific place on vacation, let them know. When something isn’t working in your relationship, speak up about it. Things can’t get fixed if you don’t communicate with each other.

2. Be More Open and Honest

Being open and honest with your spouse is also very important. Honesty builds trust, and a marriage cannot survive without it.

It can be hard sometimes to be open and honest because you aren’t sure how your partner will react. This doesn’t always mean that it’s a bad thing. It could mean being honest about an idea you have for a new business, an idea that may help your spouse in an area of their life, or even an idea about how to do things differently with the kids.

Honesty is also important when discussing your thoughts and feelings about your relationship too. As difficult as it may be, it’s better to be open and honest rather than bottle things up and explode.

3. Work as a Team

Another positive change is to work as a team. Today’s families are on the go all the time, and it’s usually one parent transporting the kids, running errands, or taking care of the home. Why not make a positive change and tackle these things together?

If possible, take turns driving the kids to school each day or to their after-school activities in the afternoons. Do your grocery shopping online and take turns picking it up. Keep an eye out at home for the little things you can do to help your spouse. Throw a load of laundry in when you get home from work or before you go. Do some meal prep if you go into work later than everyone else. Get up early and do some light housework like dusting, vacuuming, or doing the dishes so you don’t have to look at it in the evening. Help get the kids ready for school. Make coffee in the morning and start breakfast before everyone gets up. These are ways you can work as a team to make your lives easier.

4. Stay Connected

Staying connected is important in a relationship. It’s easy to lose touch with each other amidst daily life, but it doesn’t have to be. Text your spouse on your lunch break at work. Leave a note on their bedstand, on the bathroom mirror, or in their lunchbox. Plan a date night, weekend away, or vacation together. Block out fifteen minutes in the morning or the evening to lie in bed, relax, and talk. Watch a movie or an episode of a TV show and talk about it afterward. Staying connected with your spouse is easier than ever.

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5. Lighten Up

Don’t take life too seriously. Life is full of trials and plot twists, but things don’t always have to be so serious. Lighten up and laugh together once in a while. Be silly, have private jokes, send each other humorous memes and jokes. Laughter is a great way to lighten your mood and has many health benefits, like relieving stress, strengthening social bonds, and increasing oxygen in your body. If neither of you is humorous, pick up a joke book and read a few a day together.

6. Create Goodwill

Helping others is a great way to make a positive change together. Discussing how to create goodwill for other people will bring you closer because you can share your experiences and discuss new ways to make people’s lives better. Helping others makes everyone feel good, and doing it together brings a double dose of happiness.

This is something you should do together primarily, like donating supplies to the animal shelter, choosing someone to help around the holidays, or helping friends and neighbors throughout the year.

You can also do this individually too, like taking your coworker a coffee, doing something extra to take some work off of your boss’s plate, or giving an extra big tip to your server or barista. Letting someone cut in front of you in the checkout line or your lane of traffic is also a way to promote goodwill.

Most people think you have to do a big, grandiose thing, but it doesn’t have to be that way at all. The smallest things have the biggest impacts.

7. Tackle the Hard Stuff Together

Life has a way of throwing curveballs, and how we deal with them makes a big difference. It’s easy to go our separate ways and try to figure out solutions on our own, but it’s better to do so together.

Depending on the situation, emotions and words can get heated. Losing a job, having a major car repair, or losing a parent or family member are all tough situations.

Instead of fighting about it, tackle it together. Two heads are always better than one. Sit down together and brainstorm solutions. Do some research and discuss your options. You will get much farther working together than alone.

8. Be More Affectionate

In our society, when you talk about love and affection, everyone immediately thinks of sex. However, that is not the only sign of affection in the world. Physical touch is important to keep couples connected, so be affectionate and do so often. Hold hands when walking down the street, kiss often, cuddle on the couch, and put your arms around each other. Make eye contact across the room, hug often, leave love notes and buy each other little tokens of affection.

9. Read the Bible and Pray More

Make a positive change by reading the Bible and praying more. Your marriage comprises you, your spouse, and God. It’s important to keep all lines of communication open.

The Bible can be an overwhelming book, and it’s hard to know where to start. You could choose an issue that is going on in your life and do research to see where in the Bible you can read about the issue.

Another option is to choose a devotional to accompany your Bible study. This is one of my favorite ways to study the Bible because it keeps me on track and prevents me from getting overwhelmed.

A third way to read the Bible with your spouse is to find a Bible podcast you enjoy listening to. This year, I’ve been listening to a Bible podcast that reads through the Bible chronologically. Each day, I get today’s Scripture in my email, and when I’m done reading, I listen to the podcast. This has been a lifesaver for me by keeping me on track so I don’t get overwhelmed. Everyone studies the Bible differently, so talk to your spouse and see what works for you.

Our prayer life is just as important as anything else, and praying together for ourselves, friends, and family is a fantastic way to make a positive change. By praying with your spouse, you can make sure you pray for everyone on your list and make each other aware of new situations that pop up. You can also pray for each other and your marriage as well.

10. Have Fun

One of the most important things in life is to have fun. If you and your spouse have been living the daily grind of life lately and not letting up, make some time to have some fun. What is fun? Fun is what you make of it, and every couple’s idea is different. For example, my husband and I could spend hours browsing a bookstore. It’s one of our favorite things to go out and do, both at chain bookstores and independently owned bookstores.

Other couples may enjoy doing something outside or playing a sport together. Some couples may enjoy going to flea markets or antique shows. Expensive weekend getaways may be the definition of another couple’s idea of fun. It all depends on the couple and what their definition of fun is.

Sit down with your spouse and talk about what’s fun for you. What are some things you used to do while dating that you haven’t done in ages? Maybe it was taking a drive or going out for a decadent dessert or something more adventurous like white water rafting or skydiving. Whatever fun looks like to you, go out and do it and enjoy it.

If you feel like your marriage is in a rut, try one of these things and see if it helps you make a positive change and thrive together.