10 Reasons Women Miss Church

1. She's self conscious.

Over the years, I’ve had women admit that they’ve missed church because they felt self conscious due to weight gain or because they didn’t have anything nice to wear. This is especially heartbreaking because our church gathering is the one place we should feel safe and free from judgment. But unfortunately our culture, which puts extreme emphasis on the outward appearance, follows us everywhere... even to our place of worship.

If you have a sister struggling with her self image and it’s keeping her from corporate worship, remind her that she is loved and accepted as-is. Remind her of the beauty and talent that you see in her and let her know how much she is missed.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock

2. She doesn't want to sit alone.

Many women feel insecure and don’t like sitting in public places alone; this includes corporate worship. Perhaps her husband won’t come with her, or maybe she’s single and simply hasn’t made strong friendships yet. Maybe she’s a widow and sitting alone is a reminder of her missing spouse. Whatever the scenario, women lean towards companionship, even in an intimate worship setting. Women don’t like feeling judged, and sitting alone can cause fear that others are doing just that. Why isn’t her husband with her? Why doesn’t she have any friends? While others probably aren’t really asking themselves these questions, it’s easy to convince yourself that’s what’s going on in the minds of those around you.

If you see a woman in your church body sitting alone, talk to her. If you sense that she’s uncomfortable, invite her to sit with you or introduce her to another single woman. While we’ll never make everyone feel 100 percent comfortable, we can do our best by being friendly, welcoming, and offering comfort when we think it’s needed.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/kadirdemir

3. She's introverted.

While many women lean towards companionship and don’t want to sit alone, there are also women who intentionally avoid crowds. Entering a church gathering can be very overwhelming for the introverted woman. Shaking hands, making small talk, and trying to find a place to sit in a crowded room can cause great anxiety. Many church gatherings offer a time to stand and greet one another--an activity that lasts just long enough to cause great discomfort for the introvert.

If you know a woman who struggles with this, encourage her to pray that God will use her personality for the good of the church body and that she will find peace among her brothers and sisters and not feel overwhelmed. Introduce this woman to other known introverts within your church body, as knowing you’re not alone can provide great comfort.

Photo credit: Pexels.com

4. She feels overworked.

Statistics show that women volunteer more of their time than men; this seems true even in the church body. Women are nurturers and are usually quick to answer the call to nursery duty, teaching the children and mentoring the youth. It’s typically the women who take meals to the sick and to new mothers. It’s typically the women who coordinate and facilitate VBS. For some women, the church atmosphere can begin to look less like a place of worship and more like a second (or third) job, causing them to step back and take a break in order to refresh their spirit.

If you know a woman who feels burned out and is taking a break from corporate worship, pray for her and invite her back to the church body. Remind her that iron sharpens iron, and that staying away will only enhance her feelings of exhaustion. Encourage her to be refreshed by the preaching of God’s Word and by the fellowship of her brothers and sisters. Remind her that it’s more than okay to refrain from volunteering for a season of rest.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Wavebreakmedia

5. She's overwhelmed by motherhood.

Mothers of young children have a unique challenge when it comes to church gatherings. Some church bodies don’t have adequate child care. Some mothers, for a variety of reasons, choose not to use the child care even if it is available. In both scenarios, the mother is left to sit through worship with a squirming baby or toddler, worried about distracting others and realizing that they themselves are distracted and not getting much out of the sermon.

While it may seem easier in this season of life to just stay home, we must encourage young mothers that they are less distracting than they think, and they are retaining more than they realize. Make a point to sit near this young mother and offer to hold one of her young children to give her a break. If the children cling to their mother, simply be available to this woman and offer encouragement and friendship so that attending the church gathering will be more pleasant and seem less like a burden.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/vadimguzhva

6. She's in a spiritually dry season.

Have you ever noticed that when women feel distant from someone they love, instead of chasing after them, they tend to withdraw from them even more? Women will often respond this way to God during a dry spiritual season. When feeling distant from God, women tend to avoid prayer, time in the Word, and their church gatherings. They feel that the effort is a waste of time because the truth of God’s love is not penetrating their hearts. In these seasons, many women find it best to keep their distance from all things concerning God, which only makes the dry season drier.

If you know a woman caught in a season of spiritual dryness, remind her that distancing herself from God will only make matters worse. Encourage her to return to her church gatherings and to allow her brothers and sisters to walk with her as she seeks after God. Remind her that God has not changed and that God has not left His children. Encourage her with Scripture and pray that God would allow her to feel His presence in her life.    

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/tommaso79

7. She's depressed.

Whether it’s clinical, seasonal, or circumstantial, depression is all too common among women. Depression can cause mental, emotional, and physical pain, making women withdraw from their normal routine. Many women struggling with depression will turn to the Psalms and will lean on their church family for comfort and support. Others, however, feel abandoned by God and turn from His Word and avoid their church gatherings.

If you know someone battling depression, pray for them, be available to them, and encourage them with the truth of God’s Word. While there is no easy fix for depression, encourage this woman not to turn to the harmful coping mechanisms this world often offers and to turn, instead, to the truth found in God’s Word. Offer to pray for and study with this woman. Offer to simply be there and to listen. Be available and be a light in a dark place.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Discha-AS

8. She's distracted.

No one would deny that our world is full of distractions and that it’s easy to let the world, rather than our faith, control our time. I’ve heard women talk of skipping corporate worship to attend their child’s ball game and any number of other competitions. I’ve heard women talk of missing their church gathering for a ladies shopping trip or because they were binge watching their favorite show the night before and just couldn’t get out of bed. I’ve heard many woman say that they work hard all week and that Sunday morning is their only opportunity to sleep in.

While life happens, and while we must give grace to one another, let us remind our sisters that we all must be mindful not to worship the things of this world over the creator of the world. We must encourage our sisters to better manage their time, if possible, in order to make their church gathering a priority. We must pray that our sisters hunger for the preaching of God’s Word and that they crave the joy He brings rather than the temporary pleasures of this life.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/lolostock

9. She feels unworthy.

The enemy enjoys whispering the lie that no one would love us if they knew the depth of our sin. This lie can be very convincing to a woman caught in sin, and can cause her to avoid church gatherings as she feels unworthy to worship. This woman will also want to avoid any conversation that might reveal the secret she’s keeping, and the best way to avoid conversation is to avoid people. This is one terrible consequence of sin--it not only separates us from God but, as we try to conceal it, we end up separating ourselves from friends and family as well.

If you know someone dealing with this, remind them that we are all sinners and we are all unworthy, yet our Heavenly Father loves us, forgives us, and calls us to Himself even in our sin. Encourage your dear sister to return to the body of Christ, confess her sin, and to praise the One who knows the depth of her sin and yet loves her still.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/gpointstudio

10. She feels hurt.

As we all know, churches are made up of sinful people. This means that while we are in the process of being sanctified, we are still susceptible to lying, gossiping, slandering, back stabbing… the list goes on and on. We, as Christian women, are not immune to deeply wounding our sisters in Christ. While we are accustomed to being hurt and disappointed by the world, the cut seems deeper when it comes from within our church family, causing division and distance.

If you know a woman who has been hurt by a church family member and is now keeping her distance, pray for her. Encourage her to towards forgiveness and reconciliation. Remind her that hurting people hurt people, and that by reconciling the broken relationship, she will not only be honoring God, but she might be healing more than her own heart.

Beth Ann Baus is a wife and homeschooling mom of two boys. She is a writer and blogger who pulls from her own experiences of abuse, anxiety, depression and Tourettic OCD. Beth is an advocate for women struggling with sexual sin and strives to encourage young wives and mothers by pointing them to the grace offered only by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. You can read more about her at www.bethannbaus.com.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock