10 Sins That Can Sneak into Small Groups

10 Sins That Can Sneak into Small Groups

“All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42)

I attend a large metropolitan church. It is a difficult place to make connections with other Christians. Unless you are intentional and seek out the various ministries that are available, you can get lost in the sea of people. This is where small groups come into play. 

Whether you are married or single, we all have a need to be in meaningful relationships.  We all need community. This is best accomplished by gathering with eight to 10 believers on a regular basis. 

The church has now gotten much smaller. Within this small group you will find support and encouragement. You become known by others and feel as though you finally belong with a group of friends. You learn to be transparent, authentic, honest, and accountable. You share your lives with others in a safe environment where you feel loved and cared for.   

Small group is a place where you can let your guard down and let yourself be who you really are and not who you think you should be. 

Even though it’s scary, you learn to be vulnerable.

But Satan wants to cause disruption in the midst of a group of Christians meeting for fellowship and prayer and the study of God’s Word. He messes with the hearts and minds of the small group members, hoping to cause division. He is known as a liar and a deceiver. He is crafty and subtle. Sin is his signature.

Here are 10 sins that can sneak into small groups.

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  • 1. Frustration

    1. Frustration

    Your small group leaders can’t seem to make decisions that you agree with. You’re tired and frustrated with all the waffling and indecisiveness. Your input and ideas are overlooked and dismissed, or so it seems to you. You’re beginning to get upset and before long, you know you’re going to get angry if things don’t change. God is in control of all the details, yet you have trouble trusting Him. It ignites more frustration and sin abounds.  

    “Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” (Psalm 139:1)

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  • 2. Gossip

    2. Gossip

    What starts as a prayer request quickly becomes a gossip session. Whether done in the group when someone is absent or on the phone outside of group, the sin of gossip can destroy trust and shut down any willingness to be transparent. The group is no longer a safe place if people believe what they share is going to be talked about behind their back. 

    “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.” (Proverbs 16:28)

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  • 3. Hypocrisy

    3. Hypocrisy

    The new guy in your group seems to know all the right Christian things to say. And he knows his Bible. He tells an unbelievable story about how God used him to share the Gospel with a coworker. But later you overhear him talking in the parking lot as you’re walking to your car. He’s telling a friend what he did over the weekend and you realize he’s not the same person you just met in small group. What’s up with that?   

    “Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.” (Matthew 23:28)

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  • 4. Idolatry

    4. Idolatry

    You’re having a hard time concentrating on the devotional that is being shared in small group because your mind is preoccupied with decorating your new lake home. It’s all you think about. It’s all you’ve been thinking about for months. Idolatry can easily go unnoticed and unchecked. Why? It starts in your mind. Idols replace God in your thinking. What consumes your thoughts? What do you ruminate on that nobody but God can see?       

    “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind… for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.” (Exodus 20:4-5) 

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  • 5. Jealousy

    5. Jealousy

    You love the girls in your community group. You’re new and just getting to know everyone. But there’s one girl that already rubs you wrong. She dresses so “matchy-matchy” and wouldn’t dare think of going anywhere without make-up on. You told your roommate that you think she wears a new pair of shoes every week with a coordinating handbag. You know you’re feeling snarky towards her, but can’t help it. You wonder how she can afford all the clothes she owns.

    “A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.” (Proverb 14:30)

    “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.” (James 3:16) 

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  • 6. Judgmentalism

    6. Judgmentalism

    It’s your first time to visit small group. When you arrive you realize the group of people you are meeting are radically different than you are. One guy has his MBA and works all the time. Two of the women have corporate jobs. Another guy is in seminary. You work at a coffee shop during the day and play guitar gigs at night. You think to yourself, I’ll never be able to relate to these people. You tell a friend, “I’m just so much more open minded than the people in my group. I don’t know if I can hang with them.”

    “For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use is judging is the standard by which you will be judged.” (Matthew 7:2)

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  • 7. Prayerlessness

    7. Prayerlessness

    As time ticks away, good intentions concerning prayer does too. It’s easy to push prayer aside, promising to get to it next week. Only those who are faithful to pray in private will be faithful to pray in public. A commitment to prayer in a small group setting takes good leadership. “Never stop praying,” (1 Thess. 5:17) is a command. Yet it is treated as an option. 

    “As for me, I will certainly not sin against the Lord by ending my prayers for you.” (1 Samuel 12:23) 

    “The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray.” -Samuel Chadwick 

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  • 8. Pride

    8. Pride

    The entire group has shared their story and now it’s your turn. As an introvert, you’ve been wrestling with what to say. You don’t want to share your junk. It’s “private.” But an unwillingness to be honest in sharing struggles, being transparent, or revealing the real you can be rooted in pride. Pride has many faces. It’s subtle and insidious. You don’t want people to know the real you. You want them to know the person you want to be. After all, perception is reality.

    “Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2) 

    “Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.” (Proverbs 13:10) 

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  • 9. Selfishness

    9. Selfishness

    Every time he talks, you cringe. You know he will dominate the conversation most of the evening. He doesn’t seem to care that others would like to share what God is doing in their lives. Then there’s the couple who don’t cook. Every week they ask if the group can order take out food for dinner. Little or no thought is given to those who are on a strict budget. They seem oblivious to the needs of the rest of the group. Disregard for others and being inconsiderate both point towards selfish behavior.

    “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (Philippians 2:3-4)  

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  • 10. Self-righteousness

    10. Self-righteousness

    You’re in a couples small group. One of the guys begins to tell a story about a buddy of his who went off the deep end spending money he didn’t have and ended up in bankruptcy court. He states boldly, “I’d never be that foolish with money. His poor wife, what was he thinking? I have a stronger sense of responsibility than that. That would never happen to me!”    

    “People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart.” (Proverbs 21:2)

    Allyson Holland is a lifestyle blogger. She writes for Publishous.com and PublishousNow.com. She has been a guest author for Bible.org. Ally has been married to John for 30 years and they have five children. John and Ally serve together as marriage leaders in the ministry Re-Engage (marriagehelp.org) at Watermark Church, Dallas, Texas. Ally suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD). She is passionate about God’s redemptive work in the lives of those who suffer from physical and emotional pain (Mosaic: Restored by Divine Design—allysonholland.com/blog). She is a former Director to Ministry to Women and a former board member for Thrive Ministry (thriveministry.org) You can connect with Allyson on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

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