10 Things to Consider When Choosing a Church for Your Family
- Carrie Lowrance Crosswalk Contributor
- Published Aug 15, 2024
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Finding a church home that is a good fit for your family can be difficult. There are so many factors that go into choosing a church that there is never a one-size-fits-all solution.
Each person in your family is looking for different things in a church, although your children should never have the last say in choosing a place of worship. If this decision seems a little overwhelming, here are some areas to help you evaluate the churches in your area and find a great place of worship to attend.
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1. Location
Slide 1 of 10Location can be a big deal when looking for a church. Do you prefer to go somewhere close to home? Do you mind driving across town or maybe even to the next town to attend services?
Other things to consider are your Sunday schedule. Do you or your family members have to work on Sunday sometimes? Then a church closer to home might be ideal so you can be home in time to get ready to go to work. Also, if you live in an area that sees lots of bad weather, are you comfortable driving across town to attend services or would finding a church closer to where you live be a better idea?
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2. Church Leadership
Slide 2 of 10Evaluating church leadership is a very important aspect of finding a church for your family. Look at their values, vision, conduct, and qualifications. This will help you determine whether they align with your beliefs, ethics, and expectations.
You will also want to examine the church leadership's theological training, communication style, and commitment to the community. The leadership reflects the church itself. Regard their strengths and weaknesses in order to find a church that encourages growth, community, and a deeper faith connection. If the church aligns with your understanding of faith, it's a good choice.
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3. Engagement of Members
Slide 3 of 10Observing the congregation's activity is a good way to gauge how engaged the members are. You can gauge this by how active their community service is and how many volunteers they have to help with a project like building maintenance or volunteers for a church event like a fall festival or a dinner for the community. For example, where I'm from in Pennsylvania, it's common for churches to have pot pie suppers or ham and green bean suppers to help raise money for the church.
The members' enthusiasm, passion for their faith, and involvement in different outreach events are good ways to gauge if the church will be a good fit for you. If the members are highly engaged, this is a sign of a thriving congregation. Members are involved in each other's lives and the community. This will show you how deeply connected the members are, the potential for spiritual growth, and the quality of the church's services.
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4. Community Outreach
Slide 4 of 10What kind of community outreach programs do they provide to the community? Some programs may include serving the homeless, faith-based addiction recovery programs for teens and adults, and even ministering outside of bars. Most churches have all kinds of programs in all different areas that people can volunteer for. Consider your own talents and those within your family and see what programs are a good fit for your family.
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5. Membership Size
Slide 5 of 10What size church is a good fit for your family? Do you prefer a small congregation where everyone knows everyone, or do you prefer a medium to large-sized congregation? How large is too large of a congregation? How small is too small?
It's a common occurrence in tight-knit church communities for everyone to know each other. In small churches, members who are deeply connected and also connected to the leadership are common. In this size church, you will find a more family-like atmosphere that emphasizes personal growth, support, and accountability.
Medium-sized churches combine the closeness of a small church with the resources of a larger one. Often, there are solid personal connections, but also programs, activities, and opportunities to serve the community.
Large churches have various programs, services, and opportunities for people to be involved. They also have diverse worship styles, from traditional to contemporary, extensive programs for children and teens, various service times, and specialized ministries. This size church is magnificent for you if your family craves energy or if you prefer to remain anonymous in a less personal congregation.
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6. Preaching the Truth Vs. What's Popular
Slide 6 of 10Let's face it: Some churches these days preach what is popular compared to the truth. The church you attend should not be driven by theatrics and flirting with making worldly things relevant. Sometimes pastors want to sugarcoat things rather than preach the truth. They may worry about offending people or making people mad, but that's not what Jesus wants. He wants his people to learn about all aspects of the Bible, both good and bad. He wants them to understand clearly what's morally right and wrong despite the world's desire to twist all sins as being "okay."
Instead, they should preach the truth, even the hard things, even if the congregation has a hard time hearing it. People need to hear the hard and uncomfortable things just as much as they need to hear the positive things.
Church is not supposed to be entertaining. It's about making us hunger for more of Jesus in our hearts and teach us how to live our lives in an upright, godly manner.
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7. Assess Their Praise and Worship
Slide 7 of 10Assessing a church's praise and worship will give you an idea of its service style. Worship time is key to bringing members together to sing, dance, and pray.
You will find different praise and worship in every church. Some churches have a more contemporary, vibrant worship style with singing, clapping, and people raising their hands in praise. Other churches have a more traditional, subdued style of worship. Do your research on the different churches you want to attend and see what kind of worship they offer. Some churches will offer a contemporary service early in the morning and a more traditional service in the late morning, or vice versa.
Take into consideration how each person in your home prefers to worship. Someone who likes more traditional worship may feel disconnected or turned off during a contemporary service. Another person who likes contemporary worship may feel bored or unable to connect with a traditional service. Knowing what style a church worships in will make it easier for you to find a church that fits your family's needs.
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8. Comfort Level with Involvement
Slide 8 of 10Some people are outgoing, while others are more introverted. Talk to your family members and see how comfortable they are getting involved in the church. Discuss the pros and cons of each size church as well to see if you can find a good fit.
For example, your extroverted children may love getting involved in several ministries and be comfortable in a medium to large church. Your introverted spouse may only want to be involved in teaching Sunday School or in the nursery where things are fairly low key and there is a small amount of interaction.
You want your family's involvement to be authentic and fulfilling, with no reservations or stress. By knowing you and your family's limits and preferences, it will be easier to find the church that is right for you.
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9. Children's Programs
Slide 9 of 10Research the children's programs offered at the church you plan to attend. This research will help you decide if they provide a place for your children to grow and nurture their faith and understanding of Christianity. Make sure you look at the age groups served, the staff's qualifications, the curriculum, the schedule, and the philosophy of the children's programs.
Other things to consider are the availability of childcare during service, the safety protocols, and whether the church is accessible to children with special needs. Doing this research will help you feel confident that the church you are considering is the right one for your family.
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10. Adult Programs
Slide 10 of 10Look up what programs churches offer for adults. Many churches offer Bible studies for women and men, small groups, and specialized training. There are opportunities to be on the worship team, manage sound and lighting, and serve coffee in the church cafe.
You can also sign up to volunteer for various programs as well, from serving the homeless to helping with VBS in the summer to reaching out to people in the community via other ways. See if any of these programs align with your values and interests to see if the church is a good option.
There are many factors that go into choosing the right church for your family. So, what is the best way to find the church that suits your family's needs? Choose three or four churches and go visit them. Make a list of the top things you are looking for and keep those in mind. This will help make the journey of choosing the right church much easier, and you will have confidence once you have found the right one.
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