10 Unpopular Truths Your Son Needs to Hear from You

1. It's Okay to Ask for Help

Imagine a counselor on call, 24/7. Then imagine this counselor with a vat of wisdom as deep as the ocean. Hello Holy Spirit. Hello help. 

Society often downplays, even shuns, counsel from the Holy Spirit. It’s a “do-it-yourself”, “wage-your-own-way”, “be-a-man” society. But true wise men search Him and find the most worthy, life-impacting counsel available. They ask for help. They aren’t weak as some suppose. Call ‘em strong, those men who ask for help.

“But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and will remind you of all that I said to you” (John 14:26).

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2. Sex is Made for Marriage

What if we encouraged our sons to take a route clad with self-control; one void of certain diseases, sin, and emotional baggage – a life coated in satisfaction, honesty, and honor for God? What if they lived a life centered upon truth concerning sex? 

Popular belief chimes to do whatever one feels, whether it’s an adulterous affair, one-night-stand, or two high school sweethearts hitting a homerun prior to marriage. But God has something better: keep sex for the marriage bed. Anything else is simply sin. 

“Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

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3. Be Wise, Not Drunk

Loosen up. Everyone does it. C’mon, have fun. Just drink this. All are phrases uttered. Our sons will likely hear them at some point in their lives, whether it’s during college or at an even younger age. But none of the phrases balance the truth and wisdom of God. 

Wisdom chimes care with alcohol. Be vigilant against losing self-control at the hands of drunkenness. Being led astray is foolish and dangerous, regardless of how prevalent, accepted, and glamorous intoxication appears. 

“Wine is a mocker, and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise” (Proverbs 20:1).

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4. Guard Your Heart - Don't Follow it

Follow your heart. Do what you want. Do what feels right. We hear the phrases often, don’t we? But try matching them to a verse in the Bible. 

Jeremiah 17:9 assures the heart is deceitful. Why follow deceit? 1 Kings 8:39 plugs the theory of following the heart. God Almighty, and He alone, sees the heart. Why not guard and keep it with truth, allowing Him to lead us with wisdom, versus following a deceitful heart? Why not encourage our sons to love well, offer forgiveness, and squelch harmful anger? 

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). 

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5. Running After Riches Seems Right - But is it?

Pressure mounts to work hard, get things, and grow rich. People spend hours toiling to gather money - for what? 

Money isn’t the ticket to heaven. According to 1 Timothy 6:10, the love of money is the root of all evil. Let’s encourage our boys to be wise concerning their focus, to not toil to become rich, but to be a man after God’s own heart.  

“But those who are determined to be rich fall into a temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful lusts, such as drown men in ruin and destruction” (1 Timothy 6:9). 

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6. Squelch Insults with Good

When an insult comes hurling our way, splatting its hurtful words across our heart, retaliation often drives right to the front line, prepared to assist. Getting even, whether with words or actions, hits the accelerator and we find ourselves barreling down a dangerous detour. Battling insult with insult leaves relationships in the spiritual dust.

It’s common. People long to protect themselves. But the Bible rings clear; that’s God’s job. He’s beautifully capable of leading and providing for us, just as He did the Israelites. The prudent overlook an insult. Why not drive through life with prudence instead of a hot temper?

“A fool shows his annoyance the same day, but one who overlooks an insult is prudent” (Proverbs 12:16). 

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7. Seek God Versus Charting Your Own Course

The world shouts its praise to people, and often not God. Do-it-yourself tips, chants to do what you want and when you want, and pressure to be and do encourage our sons to chart their own course – without God.

But the world’s ways aren’t our Father’s; His ways are higher. Consider heaven, gravity, human creation, and the sun: what human houses enough knowledge to put those plans into action? None. Why not seek the One who sees far clearer than we ever could? Why not seek and wait on His plan?

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways,’ says Yahweh. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

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8. Jesus is the Way

Can you show me how to get to heaven? Fingers may point in a variety of ways, but the Bible makes it clear that there is one way. A few folks might call it narrow-mindedness or a lack of tolerance, but truth is truth. Removing the power of the cross removes the hope of heaven; it dislodges love. Why not encourage our sons to seek the narrow way, the one overflowing with love and hope?  

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me’”. (John 14:6).

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9. Live Debt-Free

Oh, how tantalizing those sleek, fast, sporty cars flashing across the television screen are. How about a college with all the bells and whistles piquing our interest? If we have cash to purchase that vehicle or education, we’re golden. But what if we don’t? 

We live in a day of instant gratification. Loans await to fuel the “right now need.” In His wisdom, God warned against borrowing. We’re wise to impress that truth upon our sons.  

“The rich rule over the poor. The borrower is servant to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). 

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10. White Lies are Still Lies

Oh, how easy it is to slip a little white lie into the picture. Why not sugarcoat a sin with a small tale in hopes of “getting away with it”? We see it in society often. The temptation lingers for all.

Leaving lies behind – even the little white ones – and telling the truth is paramount to a solid foundation. A relationship with God builds with truth. Relationships between people blossom when honesty sits present. 

“Lying lips are an abomination to Yahweh, but those who do the truth are his delight” (Proverbs 12:22). 

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