11 Ways First-Time Grandparents Can Prepare Their Hearts for Their New Role

1. Plan to Be Supportive without Overstepping

You need to plan to be supportive without overstepping your bounds. It's fine to be there for your child and they will be glad for your help, but be mindful of your role. Some ways you can do this are:

-Understand where they are coming from. They are probably feeling a mixture of wanting advice, but also wanting to figure things out for themselves.

-Ask your kids what they would find to be most helpful. It's easy to want to swoop in and take care of things. Instead, ask your kid where you will be most helpful. You may think you would be most helpful by changing a diaper and rocking the baby to sleep, but they would rather you get dinner started while mom gets the baby to sleep.

-Remember, your adult children can think for themselves. Don't bombard them with your ideas about how things should be done. This is a new adventure for them, and they can figure it out for themselves.

2. Seek Wisdom in the Word

Take some time and read the Bible to glean some wisdom about being a grandparent. You loved raising your kids, but being a grandparent is a whole new ballgame. Here are some verses to get you started.

"I will be your God throughout your lifetime-until your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. To whom will you compare me? To whom is my equal?" (Isaiah 46:4-5)

"Grandkids are the crowning glory of the aged: parents are the pride of their children." (Proverbs 17:6)

"I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Louis and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you." (2 Timothy, 1:5)

"Gray hair is a crown of glory: it is gained by living a godly life." (Proverbs 16:31)

You may even want to seek books about being godly grandparents. Some titles to start with are Grandparenting with Grace: Living the Gospel with the Next Generation by Larry E. McCall, Discipling Your Grandchildren: Great Ideas to Help Them Know, Love, and Serve God (Grandparenting Matters) by Dr. Josh Mulvihill and Timothy Paul Jones, or The Power of a Godly Grandparent: Leaving a Spiritual Legacy by Stephen Bly and Janet Bly.

Also, talk to your friends who are Christians about their experiences as first-time grandparents. They will be glad to talk to you, share wisdom from both the Word and their experiences, and answer questions you may have to the best of their ability. A mix of reading the Word, reading books about being a godly grandparent, and talking with friends will give you a solid foundation to start with. Don't forget to pray for guidance and wisdom in your new role.

3. Let Go of Your Expectations

It's easy to look at social media and even your friends who seem like the perfect grandparents. Those with beautiful houses, who can give lavish gifts, and spend tons of time with their grandkids. Remember, no one is perfect. Give yourself permission to let go of your expectations and be the best grandparent you can be. Never let our society determine your worth as a grandparent. As long as you spend time with them, have a good relationship with their parents, and seek to help raise them in the ways of the Lord, you are a rockstar grandparent.

4. Pray for Your Grandchild

One of the best things you can do is pray for your grandchild, even before they are born. Pray that they will grow as they should and not have any complications when they are born. Ask God to watch over them and guide them throughout their lives. Pray for his favor to be upon them and that they will follow his ways throughout their lives.

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5. Support Your Son or Daughter

Make a decision that you will support your son or daughter in their decisions raising this child. Things are different now than when you were raising your kids, so their decisions may not make sense to you ‌or you may disagree. It's okay. This is their first time being parents and they are going to make mistakes. Your support of the journey will mean the world to them.

6. Clarify Your Role

You need to talk to your kids about your role as a grandparent. Sit down and talk about expectations, how you envision yourself as a grandparent, what your dreams and desires are, and how much you will be involved.

You will also need to clarify about when you will be available and also what areas you may offer support in. Having an open, honest discussion will help establish healthy boundaries.

7. Pray for Yourself

Not only should you be praying for your grandchild, you should also pray for yourself. Being a grandparent is a whole new role to take on. Ask God to guide you in your ability to be a grandparent and give you wisdom.

Also, pray for your in-laws. Pray that they will also seek God's wisdom in the role of grandparent and that you will have a good co-grandparenting relationship with them.

8. Respect Your Kids' Parental Authority

Respect your child's role as the primary guardian. They are the ones responsible for making the rules. The last thing you want to do is overshadow or undermine their rules. This will lead to mutual respect of everyone involved and successful parent/grandparent collaborations.

9. Be Careful with Unsolicited Advice

It's natural to want to share experiences and offer advice to the new parents, but be mindful of how you do it. Criticizing and giving unsolicited advice will only cause strife in your relationships. Instead, wait for your advice to be sought after. This will give you the perfect opportunity to share your sage wisdom and experiences.

10. Preserve Your Self-Care and Personal Time

As a new grandparent, you will want to spend as much time with your grandchild as possible. However, you need to take care of yourself, too. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating right. Take time each day to spend time with the Lord before rushing off to see that new bundle of joy. Spend time with your friends and doing what you love. Make sure you have some "me" time each day as well.

It's important to have balance in your life so you don't go too far. By doing these things and setting boundaries, you will have the energy and emotional reserves to spend time with your grandbaby. Spending time with your grandbaby should be a top priority, but not the only priority.

11. Be Mindful of Your Finances

As a new grandparent, it's natural to want to buy them everything under the sun—a thousand cute outfits, stuffed animals, books, toys, etc. Still, you need to be mindful of your finances. Sit down and look over your budget and see how much you can afford to spend on your grandchild each month.

Next, you need to decide how you want to use that money. Do you want to use it to buy them stuff? Could you use it to start a savings account for them or a college fund? Maybe start a fund for their wedding? There are all kinds of ways you can look out for your grandchild that will pay off when they are older.

Instead of spoiling them with stuff right off the bat, you could set up a savings account or college fund first. Then you can save a certain amount of money every month to buy them lots of things for Christmas and their birthday.

Regardless of what you decide, you must remember that you have a life to live and pay for in terms of bills and necessities. So try not to get too carried away right off the bat. The last thing new parents want is to see their parents go into debt in order to keep up with the "jones's of grandparenting."

There are many things to do and think about before that little one arrives. Think about ways to be supportive of your child and their spouse. Plan how you are going to manage self-care so you don't get burned out. Start talking to God now about your hopes and dreams for being a new grandparent. As long as you live a life according to his principles, he will bless you with ways to make memories with your grandchildren for years to come.