10 Ways Singles Can Remain Pure While Dating

1. Understand where the root of your purity stems from, and why you are remaining pure.

As aforementioned, remaining pure is an internal journey that begins within the heart, mind, body, and spirit. While remaining sexually pure is a responsibility for all believers, sexual purity has the tendency to focus primarily on physical cleanliness and avoiding temptations rather than focusing on the pure heart of the believer.

The Holy Word of God teaches that the pure in heart are blessed, and made clean through His Word and the Holy Spirit. Singles, as you are dating, take some time to examine your heart, thoughts, and actions when it comes to living a complete life of purity, not only when dating to avoid sexual temptations. If you focus on and practice living a life of purity, maintaining sexual purity when dating will come easier than you think.

2. Establish healthy boundaries.

Setting boundaries when dating is essential for the relationship's growth and for both people involved. They teach you how to communicate effectively with each other, and show you how to treat each other. When it comes to maintaining purity, it's important to establish healthy boundaries with your partner to remain steadfast on your journey. Setting boundaries in your relationship can come in many forms. But it begins with clearly identifying your boundaries, communicating them effectively and consistently with the person you're dating, and ensuring that you and your partner are on one accord with keeping these boundaries in place. After you've identified your boundaries and communicated them with your partner, practice them consistently. Consistency is key when it comes to establishing boundaries for anything in your life, and when you are on the journey of maintaining purity in an impure world, you must continually uphold your boundaries.

3. Have a healthy line of defense for moments of weakness.

Physical attraction is a part of who we are as humans. Singles, when dating someone you are physically attracted to can bring about feelings that can cause moments of weakness that can urge you towards engaging in sexual sin. So, it's important for you to have a healthy line of defense to help you on your journey. Some means of defense are meditating on Scriptures that encourage you to be pure before, during, and after a date. Pray for strength against temptation, or if you must, give yourself some time and space from your partner to reconnect with God and reevaluate your journey. Everyone experiences weaknesses in life, but in order to ensure you stay on the right path, you must have healthy lines of defense in place to block temptations that may come your way.

4. Identify your struggles with purity.

Purity is a lifestyle, a habit that comes with many challenges. It is one that begins with establishing purity in your heart, mind and soul and exudes through the body with your actions. Singles, as you strive to maintain purity with dating, it's vital that you understand where you struggle in your walk in purity internally and externally. If you know the areas where you struggle, you can learn how to be conscious of situations that can tempt you in those areas. Being conscious of those areas can help you intentionally plan to remain on your path of purity. When identifying your struggles with certain areas of purity, be sure to take note of them, and map out ways you can become strong in these weaknesses.

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5. Regulate your thoughts.

Romans 12:2 encourages believers to renew their minds and meditate on the value of living a life that is pleasing unto God. Singles, as you actively date, it is important to be purposeful in regulating your thoughts while maintaining because actions and reactions stem from thoughts. Some ways you can regulate your thoughts are to maintain a positive attitude and outlook on purity. Engaging in positive self-talk and meditation about why you are choosing purity while dating can help regulate your thoughts and keep purity at the forefront of your mind. Another way to regulate your thoughts is to begin journaling.

Writing down your thoughts about your strengths, weaknesses, wins, and losses concerning dating and purity will remove those thoughts from your mind and translate them to paper. Once you've dumped those thoughts onto paper, take some time to review them, and then reflect on why those thoughts came to your mind, and begin taking steps towards how to keep those thoughts away from you. One last thing you can do to regulate your mind is to pray, and ask God to help you with this task. God knows our every thought and need before we do. So, when striving to maintain purity He knows what you need to regulate your mind and continue moving forward in the manner He has called you to do so.

6. Rely on God's strength.

Scripture teaches us that God is our strength, and that He is a present help in times of trouble. As we go through life, we must lean and depend on God for strength in any situation. Singles, as you interact with your partners in dating, and desire to remain pure, remember that it takes the strength and guidance of God to live as He desires. As I stated previously, purity is a lifestyle that comes with varying challenges. However, we can overcome each challenge when we lean and depend on God.

7. Limit time alone in private settings.

Limiting time alone with someone you're dating can help you resist temptation. During the dating phase of relationships, it's important to have time alone with your love interest in order to get to know them better, and understand who they are in a more intimate setting. However, too much time alone in private settings can bring about desires that may cause you and your partner to cross the boundary lines of purity that you've established. To limit your time alone in private settings, plan fun and exciting dates in open spaces where you can spend time with each other and avoid the pitfalls of temptation.

8. Discover non-physical ways to show affection.

Showing affection in any relationship is important because it can make people feel safe, valued, and loved. As you're actively dating, find ways to show your partner affection without getting physical. You can do this by purchasing small gifts or performing different acts of service such as cooking, cleaning, or surprising them with their favorite lunch. There are many ways to show someone you care for them beyond physical touch, and tapping into those things can create a stronger bond in your relationship.

9. Have accountability partners.

Having 2-3 trusted, accountability partners on your purity journey is another way singles can stay focused. Accountability partners can encourage you on this path while helping you correct your mistakes, all without judgment. Everyone needs someone to help them with their goals in life, so why not have people in your corner to help you with this goal!

10. Date someone who is on the same path of purity as you.

The Word of God teaches us to be equally yoked with someone in our faith and when practicing our beliefs. If your goal is to remain pure when dating, it'll be helpful to date someone with the same goal. This way, you'll both have an understanding of how you want your relationship to grow beyond a physical connection.

Singles, as I mentioned several times, purity is a lifestyle that begins with your full understanding of what it means to be pure. It is a walk with God that begins with a willingness of the heart to surrender to His will for living a life of purity as He sees fit. As you continue your journey with dating, I sincerely hope and pray that you examine your motivation to remain pure and seek out Christ-centered relationships that will honor Him.

Related Resource: 10 Steps Every Christian Should Take When Stepping into the Christian Dating Scene

In this episode of The Ryan Ries Show, Ryan is joined by Dr. Ryan Montague to discuss tips and strategies for successful dating as a Christian single. Listen below!