10 Ways the Bible Teaches Us to Love Our Children Well

1. Train a Child

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).  I have done what I can throughout my children’s lives to teach them about God.  I have attended church often, put my kids in Sunday school and taught them to serve. Additionally, I have tried to live out the example at home. We have taught our kids to pray, read the Bible, and apply it to their lives. They have also witnessed us as adults praying and reading the Word as well. I have made my mistakes as a parent and have certainly not been perfect in my walk with God; but I have done what I can to make the path towards Christ clear enough that all they have to do is follow in our footsteps.

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2. Be the Example

Timothy’s mother, Eunice, and grandmother, Lois, had a huge impact on the person Timothy became. “I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also” (2 Timothy 1:3-12). Paul is certain Timothy has a genuine faith in Christ as a result of Lois and Eunice’s example. As my kids grow up, I will have less and less of a prominent voice in their lives. They will look more to peers for advice and guidance rather than from me. All I can do is be the best example of Christ I can, so they can know God through my example. If I am to love my kids well, I have to trust in my abilities as a parent that I have done the best that I can do to raise my kids to be God loving, responsible people.

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3. Receive the Love of the Father

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are” (1 John 3:1)! Self-esteem is a myth. Self-esteem hinges on others’ approval of me. Yet when I can accept that I am God’s child and heir to the throne of God, my kids can live in the reality of who they are in Him, not worrying about how others perceive them. I have to walk in the reality of God’s unconditional love for me, not the conditional nature of the love I experience with others.  

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4. Teach Them to Ask for Good Gifts

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him” (Matthew 7:9-11)! If I’m honest, the Christian life for me has not been easy. Because of numerous hardships, it is easy for me to feel as though the Lord has forgotten me or doesn’t see all the ways in which I am serving Him. I don’t present God with my requests because I am afraid of what I might get instead. To teach my children a biblical way to love God, I must teach them how to come and ask God for what I want. He may not always answer me the way I desire, but I have to show them to be persistent in my prayers, accepting whatever answer the Lord chooses to give.

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5. Be a Peacemaker

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord“ (Ephesians 6:4).  I know I am responsible for teaching my kids in the way of the Lord, but sometimes I can frustrate them as well. Instead of being slow to anger, I fly off the handle too quickly. Instead of doing my best to promote peace, I create or react to drama. Instead of exuding the fruits of the spirit, I lack patience, look at the negative parts of life rather than counting my blessings. This can be confusing and frustrating to my kids who have enough of the world’s pressures weighing on them. When I add to those pressures, I ruin my witness to them. However, when I am being selfless and put them first, my witness improves. In this tumultuous world where we live, I can promote peace to those around me, teaching my kids to do the same. 

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6. Come to the Father

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14). Jesus responded in this way when one of the disciples saw children as a bother. Jesus wants us as adults to come to Him like a child comes. A child comes innocently, speaks freely, loves unabashedly and trusts unconditionally. A way to help my children love God well is to encourage them to come to God just like that. They need to feel like they can pray with no filter, trust Him without worry and love Him with their whole hearts. When they do this, then they will see the Kingdom of God. 

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7. Be Authentic

God values authenticity. He wants us to come to Him, warts and all.  This is when transformation can take place: “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

The best thing I can do is model an authentic relationship with the Lord, so my children can know it is ok to come to the Lord in the same way.

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8. Let God Plan Their Future

It’s easy as a parent to want what is best for your children. Because we know them so well, we see gifts and talents in them that they don’t always see in themselves. As a mom, I often want to push them towards reaching their potential. But in my zeal to want what is best I don’t always give them the breathing room they need. But Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” God knows what is best for my children, too. I may be their earthly parent, but God is their heavenly one. He sees and knows the future before I do. He has planned everything in advance and has ordered their steps. He knows what is best for their future and will reveal it in His time, but only if my children are willing to ask Him for that direction. To love them well, I have to let go and let God direct them.

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9. Cast Your Cares on Him

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). Fear is the enemy of God. When I live with worry and fear, I am not trusting God fully. While this is a struggle in my life, I need to teach my children to trust God fully, knowing that He always has my best interest in mind. I have to learn to cast my cares onto God, avoiding the temptation to take my burdens back and worry about them. Helping my kids lead peaceful lives is one of the best ways I can teach my kids to know God more intimately. Not only this, but it will serve them well as adults. As their burdens become heavier as they grow into adults, knowing how to handle life’s pressures with peace rather than with worry will contribute to their physical, emotional and mental health as well. 

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10. Humble Themselves

the key to salvation is humility. When my kids act in humility and pray to God with His will in mind, God promises to forgive their sin and heal their land- “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7:14).  In this self-centered violent world, kids can know they can have an active role in making a difference in it. But to make that difference, they must approach the Throne of God with an attitude that says, “I can’t do this without you,” rather than “I know it all.” If my kids can model that for their peers, the better the chance they can make a tangible difference in it.

It is tough to instill biblical principles in kids today. But if I want to teach my kids to love God well, I have to model it. After all, if I am the hands and feet of Christ, I may be the main example of Jesus they see.

Michelle S. Lazurek is an award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife and mother. Winner of the Golden Scroll Children's Book of the Year and the Enduring Light Silver Medal, she is a member of the Christian Author's Network and the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association. Her first book with Leafwood Publishers, An Invitation to the Table, came out September 2016. She also teaches at various writers' workshops, such as the Montrose Christian Writers conference. She and her husband live in Coudersport, Pennsylvania, with their two children, Caleb and Leah. For more information, please visit her website at michellelazurek.com.

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