10 Ways to Apply Biblical Wisdom to Modern Parenting
- Carrie Lowrance Crosswalk Contributor
- Updated Jun 24, 2024
Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. Kids are wild, wonderful beings. There are many kinds of parenting styles, and each parent has their own way of doing things. However, there is a big difference between parenting according to the Bible and today’s modern parenting.
As a former daycare teacher, I see many flaws in modern parenting. Bribery, lack of discipline, and children having no consequences for their actions are common. The Bible says the following about disciplining children.
“Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.” (Proverbs 13:24, NLT)
Here are some other ways we can apply Biblical wisdom to modern parenting.
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1. Spend Time with God
Slide 1 of 10How can you be godly parents if you don’t spend time with him? You can read all the books, blogs, and parenting articles, but you won’t get the answers you need there. If you want to be the best godly parent you can be, you need to spend time with the Lord daily and authentically. You also need to dig deep and ensure that your heart is committed to Jesus and actively listen for guidance from the Holy Spirit. How can we do this?
-Read the Bible regularly and apply it to your life in all areas, not just as a parent.
-Worship often. Many times when we think of worship, it’s when we are in church, but we can worship God anywhere: in the car, while washing the dishes, or waiting in line in the school carpool line. Put on worship music and sing, thank God for what he has done, and praise him for the blessings in your life.
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2. Make the Bible Your Guide
Slide 2 of 10As mentioned above, articles and blog posts may have some good ideas to try, but the Bible is your ultimate parenting guide. It will give you the answers you need for the difficult situations that you can come up against as a parent. It can also be easy to go to friends and family for answers, but make sure you always consult the Bible first—here are some tips for using the Bible in your parenting:
-Don’t pick random verses
-Go online and reference some verses about parenting.
-Read those verses within the context of the chapter and book so that it makes sense.
-Read about the whole topic that you need guidance on.
-Study the Bible as a family.
Some helpful verses about parenting include:
“Fathers do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21 NLT)
“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
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3. Be a Good Example to Your Kids
Slide 3 of 10Our children have many influences in their lives, from teachers to friends to godly examples in the church. Still, their number one example of a godly person should be you. It’s easy to get frustrated when your kids don’t think of others, are mean, or lack self-control. However, if someone hasn’t taught them, how can they learn?
Take a few minutes and think about your kids. What kind of character do you want them to have? How do you expect them to influence the world? What leadership style do you want for them? If you are having a hard time coming up with answers. Remember, it all starts with you. You need to change yourself before you can teach them to change themselves. Think about how you want to lead your kids and what you are doing to accomplish that, then ask the Holy Spirit to guide you so you can confidently lead your family. Some good ways to do this include:
-Reading your Bible in front of your kids.
-Everyone goes to church together.
-Practice what you expect from your children, like good hygiene, manners, and kindness to people.
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4. Set Standards and Stick to Them
Slide 4 of 10When it comes to discipline, it’s important to set expectations in advance so your kids know what is expected and give them logical consequences. Also, allow for growth and make sure your expectations and consequences are age-appropriate. Some ways to do this are:
-Use logical consequences when possible. For example, if your kid makes a gigantic mess with art supplies, take them away.
-Be consistent. Kids need to know you mean what you say and that you will follow through on it. Follow-through is big.
-Make sure you know the difference between children acting irresponsibly and children being disobedient.
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5. Capture Your Kids’ Hearts
Slide 5 of 10This is where you need to check your heart for a minute. When you have a hard day, and the kids are driving you nuts, it’s easy to be harsh with discipline. However, this is not the right attitude to have. Instead, think of yourself as your child’s shepherd; your children are your lambs. You are to guide, correct, and discipline them because you love them. Strive to teach them to fall in love with Jesus and how to be good people. Some ways to do this are:
-Speaking good things about them.
-Discipline in love. If you are angry, stop and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you, take a few minutes to cool down, and then discipline.
-Celebrate your children as individuals. Let each child know what is special about them.
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6. Be Aware of the World
Slide 6 of 10We live in a world where ungodly perspectives, images, entertainment, etc., bombard us. Make it a point to be aware of what your family sees, thinks, and hears. Here are some ways to make good choices about worldly things.
-Say no to popular culture, and don’t worry about your kids “missing out.”
-Remember that people are more important than the things in this world.
-Decide to have a mindset of faith over fear. Our news and media, especially, can stir up feelings of fear. Instead, choose to consult the Bible to put those fears to rest.
-Live the gospel every day in what you say and do.
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7. Give Your Presence, Not Things
Slide 7 of 10There is nothing wrong with celebrating holidays and giving and getting presents. It’s what makes the holidays and birthdays great. Still, the Lord doesn’t always give us what we want, and what he wants more than anything is time with us. Kids are the same way. They want more of your presence in their lives over other presents. Yes, even your teenagers. Some ways to do this are:
-Eat together every night, if possible.
-Take your kid out for some one-on-one time.
-Read with your kids.
-Take a class with them about their favorite hobby.
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8. Know and Encourage Your Child
Slide 8 of 10Sure, you know your child’s likes and dislikes, but what about their gifts and talents and what God has planned for them? Seek God’s wisdom in this, and always be on the lookout for seeds that you can water and help blossom. Ask him what his plans are for them to help you build up their strengths and gently correct their weaknesses. Some ways to do this are:
-Showing them their value and that they are valuable to you.
-Not criticizing them in front of their friends or other people in authority.
-Disciplining them privately.
-Respecting them.
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9. Create a Unified Family
Slide 9 of 10Families are about uniting and creating a safe and happy environment for all members, especially children. As partners, your spouse is your closest and most important ally in parenting biblically. Specifically, a husband is called to lead his family while a wife is there to help him. In doing this, you present a team approach to your children. If you are a single parent, God is your ally and will help you in all your parenting responsibilities. Ways to create a unified family are:
-Set goals for the family
-Decide what your family values are going to be.
-Choose to honor your spouse in all you do.
-Let everyone in the family know that they are part of a team and you all work together.
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10. Pray for and with Your Children
Slide 10 of 10Praying for and with your children is one of the most important aspects of parenting. From when they are little to the day they leave home, you should never stop praying for them.
Even more important is praying with them throughout their lives. Make it a habit to pray with them at bedtime, teach them to thank God for all the things he has done in their lives, and always go to God first when they have a problem. Teaching them this makes them more likely to pray regularly as adults. Some ways you can help instill this are:
-Praying with them when they are little.
-Spend time in prayer where they can see you, setting an example.
-Praying with them in both good times and bad.
-Take the time to stop, listen, and pray with and for your adult children. It’s easy for all of us to get caught up in our own lives, but adult children still need their parents’ spiritual guidance from time to time.
These days, parenting is a vast landscape with many ways of doing it. Let’s choose to parent biblically so we build our children’s lives on the rock we serve.
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