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10 Ways to Pray for Your Friend with an Unspoken Prayer Request

  • Dawn Wilson Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
  • Updated Jul 26, 2017
10 Ways to Pray for Your Friend with an Unspoken Prayer Request

The controversy about whether people should share “the unspoken” can get heated. Some think it’s totally unbiblical. They’re right in one sense; there are no biblical illustrations. But it’s not forbidden! Only God knows the heart and capabilities of the one praying.

“Unspoken” doesn’t need to mean “hidden.” It might simply be a painful response, a heart cry. The woman with internal bleeding didn’t speak in the Matthew 9:20-22 account, but God responded to her heart cry and act of faith. In spite of our many and sometimes empty words in public, the Lord encouraged us to pray in private, because sometimes details are better hashed out with Him alone. Even without words, He will always hear our thoughts.

While some say we must confront those who make unspoken requests, this will embarrass them. How much better to ask the Lord to help us create a teachable moment to speak privately about the value of sharing specific requests with the Body of Christ. We understand this from Scripture: The Lord desires that we come together in unity, agree in prayer concerning our needs, and confess our sins to one another.

Yet I believe we can pray for unspoken prayers, because some are still struggling with a burden or confusing dilemma, and desperately need prayer while they’re not quite ready to share that burden with others. Rather than blurting out many words that might invite confusion or condemnation, they are processing. We are called to pray for one another even if we don’t know specific needs. We are called to bear one another’s burdens. Some might argue, “How can we bear them if we don’t know them?” The truth is, sometimes their greatest burden at the moment is not yet knowing how to adequately express a burden!

But in the meantime, how do we pray for those who sincerely share an “unspoken” request?

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  • 1. Pray for Faith

    1. Pray for Faith

    Because it is impossible to please the Lord without true faith, pray the requester will trust in the Lord alone. First, pray their salvation is, or will become, genuine. Then pray they learn how to trust in the power of the Gospel for every need. In Christ, we are to live by faith every day!

    Some unspoken prayers are an evidence of a lack of faith in God, and the requester is afraid to admit that. Pray their faith will increase. 

    Philippians 4:6-7 gives a helpful pattern for faith in prayer: Bring every request to God, offer thanks, and expect His peace. If you have an opportunity to meet with them privately, share how the Lord responded to your own prayers of faith. Your example may encourage greater faith and transparency.

     

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  • 2. Pray for Support

    2. Pray for Support

    Because there is power in the prayers of God’s people, we can encourage those with unspoken request to seek out at least one or two trustworthy people to share concerns in a deeper way. 

    Pray for godly believers to come alongside them to offer a safe place to share or vent. Pray these believers will not pry, but will wisely ask the kinds of questions that invite trust and offer hope. Then, ask the Lord if you are that person. Ask God how you can come alongside as a caring, non-judgmental friend.

    Such support is biblical: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up…” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

     

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  • 3. Pray for Surrender

    3. Pray for Surrender

    Surrendering to God’s will is difficult for some, and the unspoken request may have to do with their struggle to yield. It can be a serious battleground. 

    Surrender implies giving up our rights to the One who has conquered us. Pray timid requesters will understand they belong to Christ and need to set aside their own plans and seek the Lord and His plans.

    Pray they will understand God demands total surrender. Half-hearted surrender will only add to their problems.

     

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  • 4. Pray for Discernment

    4. Pray for Discernment

    Some will not share specifics because they are protecting others or don’t want to feed greedy gossip mills. Their unspoken request may be of necessity, temporary and wise.

    Some unspoken requests center on wounded or broken relationships, and there may be genuine concerns about bringing up names. But they still want prayer as they think through what they can share. Pray for reconciliation of damaged relationships in God’s time and way.

    Pray they will have continuing discernment concerning God’s will, and not feel forced to share something that will only breed contention or disunity in the church. If they are dealing with others’ sin, pray they will have discernment to first confront the offender in love, and then, if that fails, to deal with the matter biblically. Pray they will approach a pastor or godly believer they trust, especially if they have continuing confusion about their situation.

     

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  • 5. Pray for Holiness

    5. Pray for Holiness

    Pray the Lord will make His command for holiness—“be holy, because I am holy”—clear. Pray for a purified life so they will bring glory to God.

    The unfolding of God’s Word gives light to darkened hearts and a standard for purity, so pray the one offering the request will be moved and convicted to search the Scriptures for answers. 

    Pray for personal revival in their life; and if you want to get involved with encouraging revival, offer to mentor them, or suggest a helpful study like Seeking Him: Experiencing the Joy of Personal Revival.

     

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  • 6. Pray for Freedom

    6. Pray for Freedom

    There are many kinds of spiritual bondage, and we cannot assume there is a sexual struggle when someone has an unspoken request. But then again, that might be true. 

    Pray every proud and sinful thought and every stronghold will be pulled down, so they can rise up with a renewed mind and take authority in Christ over the flesh. Pray for freedom from the chains of sexual bondage. Pray they will embrace sexual purity.

    The enemy likes to keep our minds in turmoil, but our God deeply cares for each of His children. Pray the requester will release all worries and cast all burdens and cares at His feet so they can experience true freedom. 

     

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  • 7. Pray for Provision

    7. Pray for Provision

    The Lord our Provider knows what we need. But sometimes believers, in the stress of tough circumstances, need to be reminded: “My God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

    God differentiates between our needs and wants, seeing our hearts. But remember, His provision is far beyond what we can even imagine.

    Pray the Lord will provide in every way for those with unspoken requests. Then look for opportunities to share God’s promises with them, or, if God moves you to do so, ask, “How can I help with a practical need?”

     

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  • 8. Pray for Peace

    8. Pray for Peace

    Some who share unspoken requests carry heavy shame or regret, painful memories that keep them hidden in closets of anxiety and discouragement. Some are deeply depressed, paralyzed by their pain, and it helps to know they are not alone.

    Pray for peace. Peace can come when we realize the Lord is with us and for us. And in our weakness, the Holy Spirit understands; He prays for us when we don’t know what to say.

    Pray the Father will bring peace through His Word, and encouragement from believers who can help them rest in the Lord. 

     

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  • 9. Pray for Courage

    9. Pray for Courage

    Sometimes those who offer an unspoken request are afraid, living behind walls of fear and seldom coming out to share anything, much less a prayer request. They may be scared to pray aloud. Pray they will learn how to come boldly to God’s throne of grace, even with their silent cries.

    Pray the Lord will encourage their hearts and enable them to trust His loving care. The more they learn to trust His heart, the more likely they may be able to open up and share their true needs with the family of God.

    As you pray, ask the Lord how He might enable you to share Scriptures about conquering fear. Maybe you can invite the person to lunch and model transparent prayer during your time together.

     

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  • 10. Pray for Hope

    10. Pray for Hope

    The Lord is our only hope, and we can pray the one with an unspoken request comes to understand this. Friends and family may step in to assist, but ultimately, God is “a very present help in trouble.” 

    When we are confused, God can guide us. When it comes to sin, our Advocate steps in to plead our case. When we struggle in trials, Jesus encourages us to “take heart,” because He has overcome. The Psalmist declares God will deliver, protect, answer and satisfy us. What great hope we have in the Lord!

    The one who shares an unspoken request needs to know this. Pray to that end, but also, ask the Lord, “How can I help this person understand your Word, will and ways?” The Lord just might want you to add hands, feet, mind and heart to your prayers.

     

    Dawn Wilson and her husband Bob live in Southern California. They have two married sons and three granddaughters. Dawn assists author and radio host Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth with research and works with various departments at Revive Our Hearts. She is the founder and director of Heart Choices Today, and also publishes LOL with God and Upgrade with Dawn and writes for Crosswalk.com. Dawn also travels with her husband in ministry with Pacesetter Global Outreach.

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