10 Ways You Can Serve the Church as a Single Woman

1. Use Your Gifts

Do you have adore glitter glue, still watch VeggieTales and have patience that stretches to the ends of the earth? Volunteer in children’s ministry! Do you have a fantastic ability to navigate awkward moments and to handle an obscene amount of body spray? Man, they could use you in youth ministry. Do you have a powerhouse set of vocals and the gift to play the guitar? Volunteer with the worship band!

God has beautifully made you. Use the unique set of gifts that God has given you, even if you feel like you’re not the best at something. A willingness to show up is half the battle! And remember: the body of the church needs a variety of people. So while it’s essential to have a worship band, it’s also critical to have someone who’s good with spreadsheets or loves to organize events or is willing to clean up behind others. 

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2. Learn from Others

Looking back on my singleness, I’m most grateful for surrounding myself with women who were remarkably wise, unbelievably kind and abundantly generous. These women stood beside me on the mountain tops and in the valleys, and they taught me valuable lessons. 

But if I'm sincere, it took me a long while to be open to learning from others. (What can I say? I'm as stubborn as Balaam's donkey!) But once I humbled myself before the Lord, I began to grow in unprecedented ways.

So here’s your mission: find your tribe. You know, those friends who stay by your side through thick and thin. And while you’re at it, seek out a woman in your community who’s a few life-steps ahead of you and ask her if she’d be willing to mentor you! 

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3. Make Disciples Through Mentoring

Speaking of mentoring, one of the most impactful ways to serve your community while you’re single is one-on-one mentoring. Pouring intentionally into someone’s life, especially a woman younger than you, is so meaningful. (I mean, who doesn’t want some directions on this crazy road of life?)

“Me? Mentor? I can’t even handle my life, let alone provide advice to someone else.”

Trust me. I know what it’s like to feel like your life’s a mess. That’s how I live my life all day, every day. But I also know what it’s like to have a friend from church to walk me through tough times. And although the advice I’ve received during those periods wasn’t perfect, it is the reason I’m able to walk so firmly in my faith today.

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4. Set Boundaries

I constantly overextended myself while I was single. I thought I had to be at every event because I was the only person serving without a family. Did I ever have a valid reason for needing a Sunday or Wednesday off even though I didn’t have a husband or kids? Well unbeknownst to my single self, the answer is: of course.

Once I learned to set boundaries with commitments and to respect my own time, serving became so much more joyful. I went from feeling trapped in having to serve to thriving in an environment where I chose to help. Creating boundaries gave me freedom from guilt and shifted my mindset out of the “martyrdom of singleness.” I not only enjoyed serving more, but I was able to enjoy my life more! I spent more time with friends, developed new hobbies, and even eventually met my husband. 

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5. Communicate with Church Leadership

Churches strive to be an inclusive place where people of all ages and marital statuses are feeling encouraged in their relationship with Christ. Being a single woman in the church offers you a unique point-of-view that is valuable to your church’s leadership. You have a perspective of how welcoming the church is to unmarried people.

Now, I’ve been in churches that have excelled at welcoming singles, and I’ve been in others that completely bombed it. If your congregation is the latter, you can’t just sit around and expect it to change. Talk with church leadership and brainstorm ways they can better welcome singles through their doors. And if your church is completely rocking it, tell the staff you appreciate all their efforts! It’s always great to hear what’s going well. 

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6. Don't Wait

One of the biggest mistakes that young women make is waiting around for a husband to come. News flash: You don’t need a husband to serve. God has created you as a complete person. Your wholeness is not riding on a spouse. So why wait for one to dive into serving? 

Think about it: if you never get married, would you want to look back on your life and realize you wasted decades just sitting around? Plus, as you develop your hobbies, interests, and a willingness to serve, you’re more likely to attract the type of man you’d want to marry. 

Instead of waiting by the window for a knight in shining armor to rescue you, get out there and live your life! I promise you; you won’t regret it. 

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7. Be a Leader

Your season of singleness is your time to focus on you. You can grow and develop yourself into more of the woman God created you to be. And unless your church specifics otherwise, you don’t need a man by your side to be a leader. Using your season of singleness to develop your leadership ability is an excellent stewardship of your time.

Now, stepping into leadership might not be an instantaneous process. You’ll most likely need to get involved in a ministry and begin taking on more responsibility. When the times comes, and you’re asked to step up into a leadership position, prayerfully consider the opportunity. You don’t have to be a leader in just because you’re single, but don’t automatically count yourself out due to singleness.

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8. Be Hospitable

One of my biggest regrets from when I was single was thinking I had to wait until I was married to practice hospitality. I thought that my apartment was never big enough to host, and I dreamt of the days that I’d have a house and a husband to host fantastic dinner parties.

But the truth is, it doesn’t matter if you live in a studio apartment or ten bedroom house. You can always be hospitable. Have friends over for pizza or ice cream or to watch a movie. If your living situation truly prevents you from hosting guests (having a disagreeable roommate, for example), get creative! Bring homemade pies to your Bible study, help cook at the next church event, or welcome guests to your monthly women’s ministry outreach event. The more you practice hospitality while you’re single, the more you’ll use it when you're married.

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9. Seek the Lord

You’re in a unique season of life right now. Being single lets you be in control of your schedule and to focus on yourself. So how are you going to spend this precious season? 

One of the best ways to serve the church as a single woman is to seek the Lord in all that you do. Spend time reading your Bible. Pray daily. Join Bible studies. Find a community of people who encourage you to grow deeper in your faith. 

Your service in the church is going to have a more significant impact when you’re intentionally seeking the Lord. He’ll carry you through the low points of serving, and He’ll fill the great moments with so much joy. Most importantly, you’ll be glorifying God in the all that you do.

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10. Serve Like Any Other Woman

Except for maybe providing marriage counseling, a single lady has the same serving-potential as one who’s married. And while both seasons are beautifully different, each still involves God giving you specific gifts and calling you to serve in the church. And even if God’s planning for you and your husband to serve together once you’re married, I’m positive there are ways He wants to use you now that can help prepare you for the future.

So don’t let the one thing you don’t have (cough cough: something shiny on that left ring finger) prevent you from all that you could be doing. God’s glorious promises don’t begin the day you say “I do.” They were promised to you even before you were born. So don’t let your marital status dictate your path in life. Trust the Lord, dedicate yourself to being his servant, and then stay faithful to his calling.

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Lindsey Brady is a recently married wife and stepmother who loves to spend time in nature or going for long runs. When she's feeling a bit more sedentary, she'll watch an entire season of any Food Network show in a single sitting. You can follow her on Instagram at real.slim.brady.