3 Powerful Ways Jesus Sees Parenting as Ministry

Parenting as Ministry

I remember feeling a bit purposeless as a young mom. I changed diapers, read stories, and cooked meals. Then I put the kids to bed and did it all over again the next day—for days, weeks, and months on end. Compared to mission trips, Bible studies led, and worship songs sung, those everyday jobs didn't feel much like ministry.

Yet, at its core, ministry is service, and that's exactly what we're doing in our homes.

Writing about the word's biblical usage, Bill Mounce explains that ministry "can refer to helps and service of various kinds which can range in meaning from spiritual Biblical teaching (Acts 6:4) to the practical giving of provisions, supplies, support, and finances to those in need (2 Corinthians 9:12)."

What a fitting description of Christian parenting—serving our kids' spiritual and practical needs.

Here are three ways Jesus views parenting as ministry.

1. Caring for Our Kids' Needs

When I was preparing to write this article, I asked our teenage daughter, "How do you think Jesus sees parenting as ministry?" She responded with a pun, "I don't know, but I'm sure God will make it ap-parent to you." (Groans and eye rolls all around. I love her sense of humor.)

The next day, I asked our teenage son the same question. He reminded me of Matthew 7:9-11 (NLT): "You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."

When we care for our kids' practical needs, we're modeling the generous heart of our Father. We're not just providing food or giving them a safe home to live in. We're showing them there's a God who cares for us. One who knows our needs and loves to give what is good. One who values his children infinitely more than the birds he keeps his eye upon (Matthew 6:25-32).

Our kids' physical needs are often the most obvious and easiest to address. Yet, in the ministry of parenting, God calls us to care for our kids holistically. The One who created humans with bodies, minds, and spirits wants to teach us how to minister to their outward and inward needs.

Caring for our kids' souls is multidimensional. It involves, among other things, teaching them to process emotions in a healthy way, talking with them about good friendships and healthy boundary setting, and compassionately walking with them through whatever struggles they face.

Through practical ministry in our homes, we can help our kids thrive as they discover and grow into the unique individuals God created them to be.

In addition to caring for their physical and emotional health, the ministry of parenting calls us to invest in their spiritual well-being, too. I like to think of this as discipleship.

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2. Relating to Our Kids as Disciples

Discipleship describes the relationship between a teacher and a student. It includes more than simply passing on information, however. Through time spent together, the teacher instructs and models what they want their students to emulate—lessons learned, habits formed, and a worldview acquired.

Jesus' relationship with his twelve closest followers provides a beautiful picture of what discipleship can look like in our homes. For three years, he spent nearly every day with them—eating, traveling, and working together. Along the way and with intentionality, Jesus taught them about the ways of his kingdom and the heart of his Father.

In the Old Testament, God instructed parents to teach their children in a similar way:

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates" (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).

In both the Old and New Testaments, we see examples of spiritually investing in those under our care. We can do this in two main ways:

As We Go

For this busy mom, the words of Deuteronomy are a welcome relief. The ministry of parenting involves living out our faith as we go about our daily lives. Most of our family's spiritually profound conversations are not planned. They come up while we're driving and discussing concerns about the day ahead. Or at 10 pm when my body wants to sleep but my teen wants to talk. Or when I'm asking forgiveness for speaking with anger instead of love.

These are the moments when real life meets real faith. I'm not studied up or even prayed up, necessarily. But I find myself silently asking the Holy Spirit to fill me with his wisdom, strength, or compassion so I can represent Jesus well in those spontaneous conversations.

On Purpose

God also gave the Israelite people regular, commemorative celebrations to remind them of their relationship with him (Leviticus 23). Woven throughout Scripture is the call to purposely cultivate faith in God (Psalm 11:9, Romans 12:2).

While we may not have annual religious feasts like the Israelites did, we can plan ways to intentionally disciple our kids.

In our family, this has looked different as our kids have grown. When they were little and we were home every day, we read the Bible and prayed together as part of our daily routine. Now that they're older and we're away from the house most days, we try to gather and read a devotion a few times a week. A few years ago, when we were in between churches, we set aside Sunday afternoons to talk about the church service we'd just experienced. This led to many beautiful faith conversations.

Ultimately, as I invest in my kids' spiritual formation, I seek to encourage each of them to embrace their personal walk with God. There's nothing more beautiful to me than hearing my son or daughter share something they learned from him on their own.

While this is my heart's desire for each of my kids, it's also a choice that's up to them. Our ministry call as parents is simply to make Jesus known and to trust him with our children's hearts.

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3. Modeling Our Own Walk of Faith

An essential part of our calling as Christian parents is to cultivate authentic faith in our own lives. It's easy to think of this in terms of duty. Like Martha trying desperately to serve Jesus and take care of everyone in her house, we may feel that seeking God is just one more item on our already-full to-do list.

His words to Martha apply to us, too: "…My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:41-42 NLT).

It wasn't that feeding people and ensuring their comfort in her home didn't matter. Jesus knew Martha's heart was to honor him and care well for her guests. But he also knew serving him would never satisfy the restlessness of her soul. It couldn't produce in her the abundant life or the fruit of his Spirit.

Unlike Martha, Mary chose to enjoy him. She was concerned about one thing—receiving from Jesus, not doing for Jesus. Sitting at his feet wasn't a duty (nor was serving him, as we see her doing elsewhere in Scripture). He was her delight, the source of rest for her soul. So, whether she served him or sat quietly at his feet, her focus was on Christ himself.

In a similar way, Jesus beckons us close. He invites us to return to him repeatedly for peace and rest (Psalm 116:7, Matthew 11:28-30). Through set-aside times and on the go, he calls us to live relationally with his Spirit, getting to know him and receiving from him all we need for this ministry of parenting.

A life of authentic faith can be complicated. What a gift we give our children when we allow them to witness our walk with God through the ups and downs.

- When we talk about what God is teaching us, they learn they can hear from him, too.

- When we share how he welcomes us to bring our questions and doubts, they discover they can be real with God, too.

- When we prioritize soul care, they understand the importance of investing in their spiritual lives, too.

- When our love for God compels us to love others, they observe Christ ministering through the hands and feet of his people.

- When they hear us apologize for the wrongs we've done, they learn the importance of living with a clear conscience.

Paul encouraged the people of Corinth: "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 1:11). As parents, we have the privilege of leading our kids toward Christ by example.

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The Heart of Ministry

As we care for, disciple, and model faith for our kids, we are living out the ministry of parenting. Underlying all these practices, however, must be a commitment to cultivating our relationship with our kids.

We can read the Bible with our kids every day. We can meet their physical needs and take them to every extracurricular activity they desire. We can bring them to church and send them on mission trips. But if we fail to love them relationally, we'll undermine everything else we're trying to do.

Our influence lies in our relationship.

Our kids need to know we care about them and about the things that are important to them. They need us to put down our devices, look them in the eye with a smile, and listen to whatever is on their minds. They need one-on-one time with us and acceptance of their personality, thoughts, and feelings.

As we prioritize our relationship with them, we model the relationship God wants to have with them, as well.

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The Perfect Parent

As much as I long to parent well and raise kids with no childhood baggage, like every mom and dad, I fail along the way. God alone is the perfect Parent.

This, of course, is no excuse for mistreatment or neglect. God holds us accountable for those he's entrusted to our care. But he doesn't expect perfection—just a growing desire to love well with our words and our actions and a willingness to seek forgiveness when we mess up.

My mentor often reminds me, "Kids don't need perfect parents. They need a perfect God."

Our perfect God knows our kids better than we ever will. He offers everything we need to care for and disciple our kids in this ministry of parenting. Through cultivating our relationship with him and our kids, we can point them to the perfect Parent who loves them and invites them to know him, as well.

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