4 Letters to Write to a Future Spouse This Christmas

1. No Cliché Prompts

Your letters do not have to be cliché, lackluster, or awkwardly approached. As you begin the first letter, remember that you are writing to someone who loves and adores you on the other side. You may not know their name or much about them outside of what God has revealed, but by the time the letter is read, it will be received by someone who shares a life and a name with you. Consider opening the first letter with a vivid depiction of your current life. Do your best to stray away from a calloused heart's cry, but instead share what your job is like, where you are spending Christmas or New Year's, what life in this present day holds for you, etc. Consider it a catch-up with an old friend with the promise that they will hold your words with great esteem. Set the stage and explain the intention of your letters going forward so that, in a sense, you are welcoming them to experience it all with you.

2. Be Honest

In your second letter consider taking the approach of communicating your true heart in a very vulnerable way. Let this letter share both the highs and the lows of what your year entailed. Remember that there will be stories that you are still being carried out in your life, and those are just as important to share as the ones that have seen their conclusions. Giving a glimpse into the real, raw, and tender parts of your heart is a way to love your future spouse even now through entrusting them with your inner world. The events and circumstances you share do not need to be ones of defeat or displeasure; they can also be ones where you have gained understanding, wisdom, or perspective. This will offer to your future spouse a better understanding of how far you have come and a vital angle of how you became the person they married. Giving an authentic and sincere summary of your year will serve as a beautiful snapshot of your journey.

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3. Share What God Has Taught You

For a third letter, reflect upon your year in faith, sharing what God has taught you about His character, love, and involvement in your life. If this has been a year where you gleaned a great abundance through His Word, share verses that you contemplated, revelations that poured out, or stories in the Bible that held great companionship to you. If your faith walk is something you are wanting to grow in ahead, share that. When you are single you often forget that faith is something that you will one day share with your spouse, so providing them with an understanding of where your faith is in this instance will serve as a deeper point of connection later as you navigate worshipping and serving the Lord together. Remember the words of Ecclesiastes 4:12b, "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." When you connect with the Lord and your spouse in faith, it will be made stronger and bolder. You can do that even now through these letters and in communicating your heart in this way.

4. Pray for Your Spouse

A final prompt idea for writing to a future spouse during this time of year is to write a love letter, a prayer offered to the Lord on their behalf. Praying for someone is a very pure and beautiful way to love that person, even if you do not know them yet. Remember that God knows this person, and He knows exactly what they are going though in this exact moment. Invite the Holy Spirit to highlight verses for you to write out in prayer over your future spouse, ask Him to make your heart sensitive to His voice in how to specifically pray for them in your letter, and speak life over their walk with God. More than anything, ask the Lord to author your love and life story. Remember that although we often think we know what is best, only He can give the very best in a spouse. He has already given us His best by giving us Christ. As the Church, we are the Bride of Christ, so He has already given us His best Spouse. When we ask Him for His choice for an earthly spouse know that He is in the business of giving what is best and that He can be fully trusted. In your final letter ask God to help you pray for this earthly spouse and to instill in you what will prove beneficial as you prepare for what is ahead.

You are right on time for your own timeline. God knows exactly what He is doing in your life, and if He has withheld a spouse, He has a good reason. You may not understand now, but one day it will become very clear. In the meantime, continue to love and serve the Lord with all of your heart, mind, and spirit, and ask Him how you can utilize these single days to the best of your ability for His glory and the good of the Kingdom. Know that when the time is right, the Lord will do what is best for your life, but you must surrender your agenda and your own understanding in the process. Choose to give this Christmas season over to the Lord and invite Him into these heirloom letters. You never know just how much they might mean to your future spouse one day, and they will serve as a reminder to your aching heart that these days hold great value.