4 Prayers for Stepfamilies Inspired by the Themes of Advent

Most stepfamilies have the same desires within them. The adults long for unity, and the kids crave attention. Because the children typically live in two homes, it can be more complex. The divorce or death of a parent has destroyed the hope that life will be exactly what it was in the past. However, that doesn't mean we don't have hope and promise for the future. 

Our hope is that the children will know they are deeply loved in both homes and that they feel cared for and blessed no matter which place they reside. Our hope is that they understand the well-intentions of their parents and stepparents, even when the adults make mistakes. 

Holy God, you give us the promise that you will allow all things in our lives to work together for good if we surrender them to you. (Romans 8:28) Our future is filled with potential and anticipated goodness solely because You know the plans, You have for us. And they are good strategies and purposes. (Jeremiah 29:11-12). Right now, I lay down my own desires and exchange them for your perfect hope. Transform my mind so that I will focus on your promises, provisions, and possibilities. My mind only sees a tiny view of the future and your wisdom. You, however, see it all. I trust you with my family. And I believe in the goodness of God. Amen. 

If there is one thing that blended families desire, it's peace. The very nature of living in the blend can create turmoil. Therefore, striving for tranquility is strategic. We crave the calm. Fortunately, peace is God's specialty. He knows exactly how to transform our minds from thoughts of panic, anger, or resentment to a place of composure and stillness. (Romans 12:1-2) 

Jesus, you are aptly named the Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6) When You died on the cross for our sins, you purchased our ability to possess true peace by the power of the Holy Spirit, which resides in every believer. (John 16:7, 13) You are the One who can supernaturally fill us with the peace of God, regardless of our circumstances. My job is to be willing. 

Even when people in my life attempt to rob me of my tranquility, you give me the ability to abide in the peace that is rooted in Christ. This gift is maintained by the Holy Spirit; no human can permanently pluck it from my mind and heart. 

Lord, it's not easy to remain in a peaceful state of mind, but I choose to rest in your arms of grace and mercy. Help me remember my life before I allowed you to enter and supply me with all the fruit of the spirit. You are my hiding place (Psalm 32:7). I won't be afraid or stressed if I focus on you.  

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Joy is an interesting emotion. It's often defined as experiencing great pleasure or delight. However, joy in the Lord is different. It's a "knowing" that is indescribable. 

In Matthew 28:5-8, we read that the two Marys, who are at the tomb of Jesus, run from the tomb filled with fear and joy as they head back to tell the disciples what the angel had spoken to them. This tells us it's possible not to know all the details of what God is doing but to have joy in the process.  

Stepfamily life can be the same experience. 

Holy God, I choose joy—your permanent delight over the temporary pleasures of the world. I am so filled with awe and wonder at who you are and that you chose me to be in your family that I want that joy over my entire family.

Lord, help my stepfamily to know that you are madly in love with them. Where they have confusion, anger, or resentment, transform those negative and destructive emotions with your truth. When they have your joy, Lord, and they believe you are who you say you are, they will allow your joy which fills to overflowing into their hearts and minds. I pray that over them. Amen. 

The word "love" had been grossly perverted over the years. We have wandered far from God's definition and its many facets. 

However, it doesn't change the truth that we all long to be loved. It is a core need. 

Sometimes, it takes longer to learn and discover how the members of a stepfamily send and receive love. What one person views as an act of love, another might take for granted. Learning to love people who are not biological family, especially if they don't like you, can be a huge challenge. Fortunately, God is up to the task. 

"Lord God, I need your help. There are people in my family who have hurt me. My human instinct is to hurt them back. But I know that isn't your response. And it's not the atmosphere I desire in my home. 

Jesus, help me see the people in my stepfamily as you see them. As Paul prayed in Ephesians 1:18, enlighten the eyes of my heart so that I will know your ways, your truth, your passion. Teach me to see my stepfamily through your compassionate and flawless lens. I desire for them to inherit a rich blessing of healing and restoration. 

Show me specific ways to reach out with your love that will speak to them. Help me to lay aside my own needs and desires and focus on becoming a catalyst for helping them to heal the hurts in their heart. 

Remove any selfish desires to be seen and replace it with acts of love which point to you. Help me decrease so that you will increase. You alone can help me be humble and gentle: to be patient and bear with others, even when I am struggling. (Ephesians 4:2)

No complexity is too big for God. If we are willing to look to Him and His ways for answers, He will show us how to handle each situation with mercy, grace, and compassion. He wants this for you more than you want it for yourself.