4 Reasons Your Teen Needs More Than Just Youth Group

1. Our Voices Need to Be Louder Than the World's

How many of our teenagers have heard our actual testimony? Not just the rosy-colored versions of meeting Jesus we've been repeating since they were five, but the real reason we came to the Lord in the first place? What He's delivered us from. What life was like before we met Him. How knowing Him brings us real, daily peace, and how we're able to rely on Him through hard times. I think often enough, we raise our kids under a spirit of assumption. We assume that because they were born to Christian parents, raised in a Christian environment, and have been taken to church/youth groups most of their lives, that's enough to ensure a close walk with God. But looking at the percentage (50 to 80 percent according to this study!) of Christian students walking away from their faith during their college year and the amount of Gen Z adults currently deconstructing their faith, I'm not convinced. Our voices must echo louder, and our actions must prove truer than the world's steady, pervasive message of disbelief, self-reliance, and resistance toward God. If that means starting a Bible study with our kids once a week, teaching them how to implement quiet times into their daily lives, or even just "walking the walk" more evidently ourselves, then we should start now. It's never too late to change, pivot, or improve any part of the way we parent, and there's never a more important time than this.

2. Youth Group Is a Power Hour, But It's Still Just an Hour

If our teens attend church and youth group faithfully, then at best, they're involved in three to four hours of God-centered activity a week. Of course, it is better than nothing, but I cringe thinking about the imbalance of time we spend on experiences like praying, Bible reading, and fellowshipping compared to the rest of life. And this delta usually widens within teenage life when balancing school, sports/activities, and part-time jobs. But in these increasingly dark times, when the influence of the world, and essentially the enemy are so prevalent and heightened by social media apps like TikTok and endless amounts of dark TV shows and movies specifically targeting young people, our kids need more spiritual guidance and discipleship directly from the ones who love them most In a time of such spiritual confusion, we need to be constant sources of guidance and light, pouring into our kids as much as possible, even when we feel a bit ill-equipped or overwhelmed. Each parent was designed to parent the exact child we're blessed with. It rarely feels as so, but we indeed are enough for our kids, and God will equip and strengthen us daily with everything we need to raise them in truth. It just takes persistence and effort, and as we're all aware…much long-suffering.

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3. Youth Group Is an Enrichment, Not a Replacement

No parent enjoys lingering on this reality, but right now, there's a fierce battle for the souls of the younger generations today. And I don't think a single one of us wants our child to be a casualty of war. The fact that my kids attend youth every week will always be a blessing, and we're so grateful for every ounce of time our youth pastor devotes every week. But no amount of spiritual guidance or instruction can ever replace the primary role of discipleship we're called to play in our teenagers' lives. 

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the secular aspects of life—making sure they make the sports team, making sure their grades are up, are happy at school, etc.—that our most important responsibility falls to the wayside. I believe the single most important thing we can ever do for our kids is pray. I'll never the words of a very kind, "spiritual mother" gently assuring me as a new mom, "don't ever forget to pray over your son. Sometimes you may be the only one covering him." One of our greatest duties as parents is covering our children in prayer—the hard, intercessory kind of prayer where we're not just asking God to help them avoid temptation and resist peer pressure but to increase awareness of who He is and for a deep, never-ending hunger for Jesus. It's easy to allow the chaos and stress of life to hinder intangible acts like prayer and fasting for our kids, but God will give us the strength if we seek it.

4. Youth Group Can Sometimes Lack (Like Everything in Life)

This is not meant to be a divisive statement, but there are a few solidly held doctrines taught in late 90s youth group settings that I firmly disagree with today. Teachings stemming from the popular "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" movement disallowed dating of any kind and, in my opinion, promoted a skewed understanding of modesty and purity that I found particularly damaging to girls. We were also told we needed to speak in tongues to prove we'd accepted the Holy Spirit. I believe this was all taught with good intentions, but some of this was confusing, and I'm not even sure my parents were aware. Bluntly stated, we should never leave our kids' spiritual instruction to the hands of strangers. I'll remain forever grateful for any ministry volunteer offering their time and energy for the good of others. But at the end of the day, we are solely responsible for our teens' emotional, physical, and spiritual growth and well-being. Everything else is much-needed frosting on the cake.

Related Resource: How the Prosperity Gospel Fueled Purity Culture and Undermined Our Parenting

Purity culture, like the prosperity gospel, promises rewards for adhering to specific behaviors, but it often leads to disappointment and shame. All too often, in the church, parents apply this same type of thinking to their children. Parents assume that they will be rewarded with God-honoring, God-fearing children if they teach their children all the right things and parent the Biblical way. Like with the Prosperity Gospel and Purity Culture, the emphasis is on the outcome, not your child's relationship with God.

In this thought-provoking episode of "Christian Parent/Crazy World," Catherine engages Dr. Lina Abujamra in a candid discussion about the harmful effects of Purity Culture in Christian communities. They highlight how Purity Culture parallels the Prosperity Gospel by creating unrealistic expectations and measuring spiritual worth through outcomes rather than genuine faith and grace. If this episode helps you be a more thoughtful parent, be sure to subscribe to Christian Parent, Crazy World on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!