4 Surprising Benefits of Forgiveness in Relationships

1. It Sets Me Free

The most important thing that happens when we forgive someone is it sets us free. We no longer carry the weight of the pain and hurt associated with the offense. While we must acknowledge that forgiveness is a process and that we don't always forgive the person right away, when we do the soul work of forgiving that person for every offense they committed against us, we feel free. Our souls are no longer hindered by the weight of anger, bitterness, or sadness. We are free to worship the Lord freely as we were created to do. Once we've rid ourselves of all the bitterness associated with unforgiveness, we worship the Lord in freedom. We can fully experience the beauty of God's forgiveness of our sins. Even when we think our sins are less offensive than others, we still bear that sin's weight. Yet, God never wanted us to bear the weight of sin alone. Jesus took our sin upon Himself, so we no longer bear the weight of that sin. When we choose to forgive others, we set ourselves free and give ourselves the emotional freedom afforded us through Christ's death on the cross.

2. It Sets Them Free

Not only does forgiving someone for their offense set us free, but it also sets the offender free. This is especially important if the person who offended us doesn't even know they offended us. Sometimes, we make mistakes and do things or say or act in a way that hurts others. But we're not always aware that we made that mistake. By forgiving them and letting the offense go, we can be in the right relationship with them. To withhold forgiveness means to punish them for their offense. Yet, Christ doesn't punish us for our offenses. Therefore, we have no right to punish others for their offenses. Forgiveness is also important when the person knows they've made a mistake. They may beat themselves up over what they've said or done they can't change. Forgiving them sets them free from the burden of the mistake they made. Once forgiveness is offered, both parties can worship and live in freedom.

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3. It Obeys God's Commands

If we want to be the followers we claim to be, we must obey God's commands. This is especially true in forgiveness. Many passages throughout Scripture talk about the importance of forgiveness; God forgives us our sins when we forgive others. We must forgive others multiple times, even if they commit the offense repeatedly. Jesus understood what it meant to forgive someone for mistreating Him when he had done nothing wrong. He succeeded in forgiving all those who put Him on that cross, and we can forgive all the people in our lives who have put us on a makeshift cross, too. When we forgive, we are in right standing with God's commands. Even if it's difficult and we must forgive repeatedly, God honors what we do in secret and in public. We can demonstrate our forgiveness to someone by being nice to them in public, praying for them in private, and not talking about the transgression any longer. By letting it go, we can have a hand in preventing bad behavior from becoming a habit.

4. It Demonstrates Christ to Unbelievers

Once we have set others free, we have set ourselves free and become in right standing with God's commands. Our example will be an attraction to unbelievers. Because unbelievers don't have the hope of Christ, love of others (particularly family) is the highest goal they can achieve. However, people are fallible, and they make mistakes. When people make mistakes to others who are unbelieving, they remain in that emotional cage. They don't have Christ and His atonement to set them free. Therefore, they hold on to things, carry grudges, and in so doing leave a stain of bitterness and resentment in their soul. However, when they see someone forgiving others, treating them as human beings, and treating them as equals to themselves who have also sinned, it becomes an example to a believer that they may want to emulate in the future. They may find it difficult at first and may even mock it, but deep down, they will want to achieve that same freedom and happiness they see you have achieved through forgiveness. This may inspire them to open their Bible, go to church, or become friends with another believer who will help guide them on the way toward salvation.

Forgiveness is important when we must forgive an unbeliever simply because they don't know any better. On the cross, Jesus said, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." Many of the people who demanded His crucifixion had no idea who he was or what He was doing. It wasn't until He was resurrected and the prophecy came true that unbelievers understood who Jesus really was. Some people who witnessed the empty tomb must have become believers once they fully understood Jesus's role on earth. Unbelievers need our forgiveness because they are also under their own judgment. If an unbeliever dies before they accept Christ, they have no hope for salvation. However, extending forgiveness to them may be the hope they need to turn their lives toward Christ. When we shift our perspective from what has been done to us and instead forgive for the greater purpose of someone turning towards salvation, it will inspire us to want to forgive more easily. If we truly knew the person we were extending forgiveness to as an unbeliever would one day come to believe in Christ because of our actions, wouldn't we do it?

Forgiveness is difficult. It is a process; sometimes we must go through it multiple times before achieving full forgiveness. Yet, we achieve freedom and liberty in our own lives and emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical freedom because of it. Christ commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven. But we will also reap rich, rewarding, and enriching relationships because of the gift of forgiveness.

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