5 Lies About Motherhood That Are Not Biblical

Lie #1: Jesus Doesn't Understand

There must be no way that Jesus understands motherhood, right? Wrong! I’ll admit that I have fallen for this lie many times. And, while He is the Son of God, the Father most certainly knows what it is like to raise children. After all, He has many of them - including us!

Jesus also referred to His disciples as His “children” (Mark 10:24). He taught them for nearly two years, often re-teaching the same lesson, correcting behavior, and calling out their sins. There were even times Jesus had to confront the issue of sibling rivalry (Mark 9:33-34).

Making disciples wasn’t easy then, and it isn’t easy now. Training children up comes with a list of challenges that test our patience and can easily sway us, bending to lies.

The point is that Jesus does understand. Yet, just as He loved His disciples and prayed for and with them, granting punishment with truth, love, and grace, He does the same for us as mothers. When we meet with Him in the pages of His Word, He can (and will) remind us of truth, helping us cast all our anxieties upon Him (1 Peter 5:6-7).

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Lie #2: Your Child's Behavior is a Direct Reflection of You

Oh, this hits my momma’s heart hard. Let’s start with the truth here. Yes! We absolutely have a divine responsibility to train our children and lead them to live a life that honors and glorifies the Lord (Proverbs 22:6). In other words, our influence matters. How we live and choose to show our love for Christ matters. It matters to our children and even more to our God.

Here is where things can get a bit muddy and murky. Proverbs is full of wisdom and provides a plethora of advice for parents, stating that a child’s behavior is a reflection of their parents (Proverbs 17:25). 

So, regardless of the choices your child makes (either good or bad), to some degree, you have an influence on what they decide to do. If that isn’t humbling, I don’t know what is. Sigh! 

On the other hand, we must understand that God also gives us free will. Just as we have the opportunity to make our own choices, our children have the same access. So, we can lead and train them in the way to go, showing them right and wrong in God’s eyes, but their choices are theirs alone. 

This is why we must get to the heart of the issue as parents. If your child is making choices that go against your rules or God’s laws, do a heart check and see what the underlying cause could be. Then, take your own heart to God and seek wisdom and discernment.

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Lie #3: Your Child Would Be Better Off With ...

This point usually gets tied with the lie above. When our children veer off in a direction that breaks our hearts, or we face challenges that make us feel ill-equipped, it is so easy to believe they would just be better off with another mother.

Not only that, but this lie easily opens the door to comparisons that rob us of the immense joy we can truly feel on this motherhood journey. 

The many times I have fallen into this pit of feeling like a failure or looking at another mom who seems to have somehow a flawless track record raising truly amazing human beings, and I am stuck wondering where I went wrong. 

The only way to face this lie is head-on! Being brave is sometimes a choice we must make. Just as we ask our children to make the right choices, we must realize that in the face of comparison and lies, we have to suit up and be courageous by surrendering all. 

It takes a daily act of constantly submitting our hurt and heart to God, letting Him remind us that we were set apart, made for this, and there is purpose in pain (Jeremiah 1:5 and James 1:2-4).

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Lie #4: You Are No Longer Beautiful

There is an innate need for us as women to feel cherished, adored, special, and… beautiful. It is at the heart of who we are, and it helps us feel loved (Song of Solomon 4:7). However, there is this lie that tells us that when we don’t “feel” altogether beautiful, we must be unworthy of love. 

Ugh. I really hate this lie because it also ebbs and flows with society's views of what makes a woman beautiful. Whether we claim we fall for it or not, it is more than likely getting into our hearts and minds, and we will grovel with it at some point.

I can still vividly remember standing in front of the mirror after the birth of our first daughter and weeping uncontrollably. I couldn’t recognize my body, and so I secretly (or in some cases outwardly) proclaimed how much I loathed it. Unfortunately, that took a painstaking turn in my marriage, and I knew I needed to see myself differently.

While I still battle with this lie, having three daughters has made me try to put many negative perspectives at rest and choose to see my body (heart, mind, and soul included) as a temple and vessel (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) that is to be taken care of. 

As we all face inner voices that proclaim lies about our beauty and try to sabotage our hearts with untruths, lean into the truth that God sees you as His beautiful daughter (Psalms 34:15) and takes notice of your inner beauty. When we foster that, our otter beauty is evident. 

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Lie #5: You Are a Failure if Your Child Does Not Accept Christ

The roadmap to your child coming to know and accept Christ as Lord is unique and can be beautiful and rewarding, but it can also come with lots (and lots) of twists and turns.

We all want our children to accept Christ and to know Him as their Lord and Savior as we know that in doing so, we will all be together in God’s kingdom (Romans 10:9-10). But what about when our children don’t accept Christ or reject God?

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The pain and hurt associated with this are gut-wrenching. I know my parents felt this because I was that daughter in college who questioned my faith and wrestled with it for a few years. I didn’t necessarily reject God altogether, but I wasn’t 100% sure of anything, either. 

While I was raised in a loving home committed to walking in obedience by honoring God, I still choose to walk away from that foundation. Yet, my mom continued to love me. She never once condemned or shamed me but continually told me that she was praying for me. 

She later confessed numerous times she felt like a failure due to questioning my faith, wondering if she missed something when training me. But, the truth is that our children will most likely come to a crossroads as they grow older, where they will need to make a choice to make the faith their own or at least seek to understand it better. 

If your child is wavering, don’t lose hope. And don’t for one second believe you are a failure. Sure, you will make mistakes and even mess up, but where you fall short is where God fills in. So, pray because your prayers are so very powerful!

Closing Prayer
Gracious Father, I lift every sweet momma reading this today. I pray You touch her heart in a way that only You can remind her of the worth, value, and love that she has to contribute to her family. Please help her combat the lies infiltrating her heart and replace them with Your truth. Give her a safe place to seek Your unfailing mercy and grace, and allow her to let go of things holding her back from being the mom You are calling her to be. We are so thankful that You are a God that understands. Amen.

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This article originally appeared on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit Christianity.com.