5 Paths to Recovery from Church Harm

1. Counseling

The first strategy every person should take when they have been victimized by church harm is to seek professional help. Spending time in therapy with a counselor will help them make sense of the situation. Not only is it good for a professional to be able to see things from a different perspective, but a counselor may also be able to assign exercises that will help the person process their emotional hurt and trauma. Every person who has been victimized by church hurt would benefit from the help of a counselor. Every person needs to receive some help from a professional. Counseling helps people process pain, seek solutions, and receive healing for all types of church-related issues. It is beneficial for everyone to have an unbiased party where they can present their pressing issues and rest assured they will receive wise counsel to reach a solution.

2. Other Christians

Not only do people who have suffered from church harm need professional help, but they also need other Christians to help process their pain. Although they need other Christians to talk to about the situation, it is important that they do not talk to people within that church. Talking to people within that church would only seek to spread discord and disunity. However, having other Christians from other churches who can see the situation from a different perspective would be good. Not only can they give wise counsel, but they can also let a person know exactly what they can do as concrete next steps to heal themselves. Friends from other churches will have their best interests at heart. This will ensure the person is caring for themselves and receiving the healing they need.

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3. Self-Care

Someone dealing with church harm should take a break from church ministry. They need to care for themselves. It is good for them to simply sit in a church service and just receive from the Holy Spirit. Keeping up their quiet time with the Lord is also important and valuable during this time. Praying and listening for the Spirit will help shed some light on the situation. This will not only help fill the emotional needs of those who are feeling deprived at this point but also allow them to be in God's presence, letting him be the one who will bind up their broken hearts.

In addition, it might be beneficial for someone to do things to care for themselves. They might take a vacation for a break from reality. It may also mean a day of relaxation or other recreation, helping them to focus on hobbies and interests they enjoy. Taking your mind off the church harm and onto interests that give rest to their souls will also be helpful to give them a needed break. People who care for themselves can be better used for God. God cared for himself by spending time in lonely places and praying to the Father. It was only through his connection to the Father that he was able to do the effective work of his ministry. Because he did not have a family, a job, or home to tie him down, he was the able to spend the bulk of his time in ministry with others. Not only did he preach, but he also healed the sick, drove out demons, and did the work of his community. This allowed him to fulfill the purpose that he was sent on earth to do, and this also helped him take care of himself as he was fulfilling that purpose. Although he dealt with his share of Pharisees who had different expectations for him, it was important that Jesus did what he needed to do to care for himself so that he could effectively minister to others based on God's intentions for him on earth.

4. Achieve Reconciliation

No matter what a person does to recover from church harm, the most important thing that can be of help to them in moving forward is to reconcile with those who have hurt them. Sometimes, it may mean enlisting the help of a professional or a pastor to lead them through a time of forgiveness and repentance. Both parties need to be able to express their feelings using I statements to convey how one person has hurt the other. Even if no apologies are given, or reconciliation cannot be achieved, both parties must be able to express themselves directly to the other person.

Not only is this good for people to achieve peace in their lives, but also to reconcile if necessary. One or both parties need to ask for (and extend) forgiveness to the other. When both parties humble themselves and express forgiveness, that is the first step towards reconciliation. If both parties never speak to each other again, the situation will remain unresolved and both the person who's suffering from church hurt will only project those feelings onto other relationships in the future.

5. Seek Peace

Peace is established when both parties resolve the issue effectively. Even if the situation was not handled properly, adequately acknowledging and hearing a person's feelings is helpful during this time. Although the person victimized by church harm can achieve peace without speaking to the other person directly, the process will take a lot longer if he or she is not able to speak to the other person directly. Sometimes, the situation is simply misinterpreted or misheard. By both parties being able to understand the other's interpretation of the events, they are better equipped to extend peace and reconciliation to the other. In some cases, reconciliation is not the best option if the other party feels no remorse for what they have done. When this is the case, it is best for the person who's been hurt to go to a counselor to grieve and to process the trauma. Once the trauma has been resolved effectively, the person can move on toward spiritual and emotional freedom as best they can.

Church harm can be very difficult for people who have experienced it first-hand. Whether they had a hand in the harm or not, victims will carry this harm with them for many years to come. However, for those who want to move forward, it is best they achieve reconciliation and peace, seek the help of a professional, process the trauma with other Christians (not from that same church), and care for themselves. When they choose to take these steps, they can truly achieve the peace they so desire.

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