5 Reasons Your Husband Shouldn't Be Your Best Friend

1. Husbands Are for More Than Friendship

Song of Solomon 2:2 says, "As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." We are created for passion, love, romance, and delight. Why else would love stories of all kinds fill our imagination through books, shows, and movies? The heart longs for a love story that captures our attention and brings joy to our life.

Marriage is a shadow of the greatest love we have the chance to know when we become followers of Jesus. How we love one another is one way we can model the reckless way God loves us. That God-inspired love is something we should find delight in! Your spouse is not just a best friend; he is there for you to explore, to find joy in knowing, and to experience pleasure with. Be your husband's friend, but also be one that you find mutual delight in.

2. Unlike in Friendship, Through Marriage, You Create a Soul Tie

When we enter into a marriage you are knit together through covenant in a mysterious God designed way. In Genesis the Bible explains that the man and woman join together and create one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Something intangible is connected when we exchange those marriage vows. It's more than friendship, it's a soul tie that lasts for life. This relationship will forever be a part of us, even if our marriage fails. When you start a life together, you go from me to an 'us.' You are now seen as a unit not an individual. Each person's actions make an impact on the other.

This reality is heavy and often makes marriage harder to navigate than friendship alone. The stakes are higher; my bad day becomes our bad day, and we no longer can think as individuals. We are always a unit.

We don't do everything in our lives through the lens of how it'll impact our friends but we do have to consider all we do in how they impact our husband. It also means we have to extend extra and special grace for our hubby. His partnership is vital to our lives. When he fails, it hurts, but reconciliation is something we must always work to achieve. Our spouse is not disposable. They are indispensable and we have to die to ourselves in order to remain as one.

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3. Marriage Is Held to a Higher Standard than Friendship

Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." The Bible gives us higher criteria for what we are striving for in a marriage relationship. Love and respect are to define this union. Ephesians 5:21 expands this standard by requiring that we submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.

How we treat each other in marriage directly impacts our relationship with God. Marriage matters to God. We cannot take our interactions as a couple lightly. We have to submit what we want to what God has for us as a unit. All of this makes marriage more than friendship; it's a sacred union. We are more than friends. We are man and wife.

4. Unlike in Friendship, Marriage Is the Foundation of a Family

God's design for marriage included a charge to be "fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28). A committed, stable, and loving marriage relationship is intended to be the safe place for us to guide and nurture our children. The relationship we have with our husband is not only about friendship, passion, love, but in many cases it's about parenthood too. We work together to train our children up in the ways of the Lord so they will not depart from it.

Even when couples are not able to have kids or choose not to have children they are a vital part of a larger family. They are aunts, uncles, siblings, children, and more to those who are in their family tree. Your example of love and faithfulness matter to the foundation that this interconnected family tree rests on. Being man and wife shows what unity, safety, and dependability looks like in this chaotic world.

5. Your Husband Is Yours

In marriage, you commit to be your beloved's, and he commits to being yours. There is a healthy (not controlling or abusive) level of ownership that is unique to marriage. Your husband is yours to vent to, rely on, delight in, encourage, share, support, and spend time with. Not that other relationships won't be a part of your life, but any opposite-gender relationship should be developed with your husband, not independent of him. Your eyes are only for him.

Friendship does not require the same kind of singular focus. My son often asks me who my "best friend" is outside of our home, and I tell him I can't choose because I have many valued and loved best friends. I have only one husband, who has my heart, and he has mine.

Marriage is special because God designed it to be a holy, forever union. It's a place where we find joy, passion, partnership, friendship, intimacy, and growth in holiness, accountability, and love. Our families rely on us, and who we are becomes permanently intertwined with our spouse. Two become one. It's mystery, sometimes sacrifice, and beauty all rolled into one.