5 Surprising Blessings of Sibling Relationships

1. Positive Sibling Relationships Have a Positive Impact on Your Mental Health

The relationship you share with your siblings is often the longest one you will maintain in your life. Often, siblings are with you even past the death of your parents, and they start life out with you as a young child well before you've met your spouse. It's not surprising that research has found that when the relationship we have with our siblings is positive, it has a positive impact on our long-term mental health.

Having positive sibling relationships boosts your self-esteem. The opinion of your brothers and sisters matters. It definitely impacts how you view yourself. Having that built-in friend for life has been shown to help protect from loneliness, depression, as well as leads to a greater level of satisfaction in life. Basically being a good brother or sister has amazing positive effects for the entirety of your life.

2. Siblings Lead to a More Active Home Environment

I can attest that the more kiddos that share a space, the less calm and quiet you can expect to experience in your home. While sometimes as a parent it feels like we are stuck in the middle of a zoo as a kid this means more fun to be had. Siblings are built-in playmates. When you have a buddy you are more likely to wrestle together in the living room, run around the backyard after dinner, or build an epic pillow fort with. Mom and Dad can be fun but we aren't kids and we are busy. Brothers and Sisters spur each other on as they stretch their imaginations together at home.

Personally I love seeing my 11 year old son interact with his three year old brother. One amazing benefit to having a wide range of kids in our home is that the young ones keep the older ones younger too. My older son loves his baby brother and he eagerly takes him in the yard to kick the soccer ball with, he follows him around the playground for me, and he loves chasing him around the house.

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3. Siblings Help Shape You

We have all heard the stereotypes of what a firstborn, middle child, and the baby ends up being like. While not every stereotype out there is true, there is some science that backs the idea that our place in the family shapes us. The world needs firstborns who tend to be more responsible and obedient. It needs those middle children who learn to be peacekeepers as they negotiate with older and younger siblings. We also need those wild and adventurous babies of the family!

Each of your siblings' personalities and your place in the family impact who you become. It offers you practice in a special set of relational skills that are only developed in the context of family.

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4. Siblings Help You Learn about Responsibility

Your family is a vital training ground that impacts how you navigate the world for the rest of your life. I wonder if many of us are experiencing failed marriages because in our culture the nuclear family unit has become more and more disconnected. Many of us get to adulthood not having sufficient practice on how to care for others. Without that practice we struggle when we have our own marriages and families that require constant effort and sacrifice.

When my older kids have to help their younger brother and sister learn how to potty on the toilet, help them clean up their toys, grab them a snack, or soothe them, they are learning vital lessons about caretaking and responsibility. Even siblings close in age benefit from cooperating to complete chores together, they rely on each other as emotional support, and practice kindness and forgiveness as they navigate sharing life as a family. These lessons teach us what being responsible in the context of a relationship should look like.

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5. Sibling Fighting and Rivalry Grows Social Skills

Good news parents, that constant fighting you are hearing in your home is actually beneficial for your kids. Siblings squabbles, which oftentimes can feel endless, teach us so much. These arguments teach us how to cope with difficulties, how to apologize and forgive, how to vocalize our feelings, they learn from their siblings point-of-view, and how to love through disagreement.

All that bickering is actually a valuable gift!

The rivalry we often feel with our siblings can actually push us to do better and grow as an individual. As long as this competition doesn't go too far and parents don't play favorites, it's a positive part of having a sibling. We also have the chance to learn from a sibling who is better than us at something. If you have a brother who can draw really well, he can show you how to improve your own skills. Siblings can offer great motivation and encouragement.

As our family has grown, I've realized that it's actually to my kids' benefit that they are involved in actively loving and caring for each other. A lot of us, including myself, feel like in a big family, our kids can lose out because they don't get as much one-on-one attention from Mom and Dad, which is true, but what I didn't know until God gave me five kids was that the bonds they have with each other make up the difference and then some. As a parent, there are so many lessons I see my kids learn from each other, and it makes my heart burst with joy knowing that they have each other's backs. None of my kids want to sleep alone because they all need someone to be with; that someone is a brother or a sister, and they are irreplaceable to each other.

For our adopted kiddos, I fully believe that their older siblings are the most instrumental people in their lives when it comes to healing. My older daughter has taught my younger daughter how to play. She first earned her trust and love when our younger daughter joined our family. Family life gives our kids a chance to learn and grow. Our time spent together is an invaluable gift that sticks with you for life.

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