5 Things God Teaches Us through Parenting

1. Dependence on Him

"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isiah 41:13

When you bring that first newborn home, you quickly realize how unequipped and unprepared you are. Your nursery may be decorated to the nines, but that isn't going to help you while changing that diaper, rocking the crying child, or tending to a sick infant. You can read many parenting books, but the real learning comes from experience. No manual will give you all the answers to your child.

I guess this speaks to how we are made. God makes us so unique that no one manual fits. As parents, we get the joy of figuring out this distinctive child. Thankfully, their Creator desires us to seek Him for help.

I remember bringing home our first child. I was exhausted and emotionally drained, and grabbing my first shower at home. My husband came in and asked if it would be okay for him to participate in an activity the next day. I looked at him and started crying. I had no idea what I was doing and needed my spouse there to help me stumble through this. He quickly realized that I needed him and dropped the subject.

In parenting, you quickly recognize that you are in over your head. Even when the kids start growing up, the seasons change, and the problems become bigger and more complicated. You learn that once you solve one challenge, a new one will be thrown your way.

This leads to quickly realizing we must depend on the Creator of this child, the one who knit them together in their mother's womb (Psalm 139:13). The sooner we learn to depend on God, the better off we will be. This of course is not a natural state. Our innate self thinks we can handle it all on our own, but the reality is different. The dependence on God for parents doesn't stop at infanthood, it grows with the child.

2. Patience

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." (Galatians 5:22) Forbearance is a synonym for patience. Those who are in Christ are to keep in step with the Spirit.

Parenting is a great way to grow in patience. It starts the second we bring that infant home and will continue until we pass from this life. Whether it's rocking that crying baby back to sleep, hearing your name called twenty times in thirty seconds, or waiting for a teenager as they are making you late, again. God offers opportunities to grow in patience every day.

 Patience is being able to keep our calm under strain. Out of all the fruits of the Spirit, I would say God has us practicing this one the most, maybe tied with love, yet they go hand in hand. You exhibit love by showing patience.

Our flesh is not patient. I was not born patient; I wish I was, but the reality of the situation is much different. I have had to grow in patience with each situation, each child, each trial, every day. It's been a slow, steady work of Christ in me.

I must model how I would like my children to act. This, of course, is easier said than done. Will we accomplish this perfectly? Never. That's why there is forgiveness. When we mess up and yell or say something we didn't mean to, we get to ask for forgiveness from God and the person we were interacting with.

My daughter was over at a friend's house. Her friend has three younger siblings. On the way home, my daughter said, "My friend's mom is soooo patient." She expressed how the little ones were constantly at her feet asking for things. She saw the demands that were cast upon the mom, yet she kept her cool and handled each one calmly. That act of exhibiting patience made an impression on my daughter.

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3. Selflessness

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." (Philippians 2:3)

Our natural state is to do the desires of the flesh. The flesh craves things that satisfy our own needs. As Christians, we must fight against these selfish desires all day long. God gives us ample opportunity to practice selflessness through parenting.

Nobody wants to get up in the middle of the night to feed a crying baby or change wet sheets. We must put aside our yearning for sleep and put the child's needs first. This doesn't stop when they start sleeping through the night; the demands just change.

When they are older, we must choose to connect with them by doing the activity they want to do instead of pursuing our own interests. Or it might mean holding off on the purchase for yourself to spend the money on your child's needs or even wants.

As Galatians 5:16 states, the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit. They are in conflict with each other. The Bible tells us to walk by the Spirit. We must fight those natural selfish desires and instead follow the Spirit. The verse goes on to list the fruits of the Spirit. If our actions align with one of the fruits, we are on the right track. If not, we need to re-evaluate our actions.

In God's mercy, He is helping us become more and more like Him. We are being sanctified. God works on our hearts and minds, making us open to things we don't want to do. Children and the family are one way that he uses to grow our capacities and bring about sanctification. We learn, one action at a time, to put the needs of others first, thus becoming more Christ-like.

4. Grace

"But because of his great love for us, God who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved." (Ephesians 2:4)

Grace is God's unmerited favor toward men. God pours His grace on us not because we deserve it but because He loves us. We can't earn His approval, nor do we deserve it, but He gives it to us anyway. Grace is a gift from God. God teaches us how to give grace to our children. He does this by first extending grace to us.

Showing grace to our kids means loving and forgiving them when they mess up. It's understanding when they are going through a tough time and extending extra patience. It's telling them we love them, not because of what they do, but because of who they are. They are our children. God created them for us to shepherd and care for, a gift to us from God. Grace is seeing Christ in our kids as God sees Christ in those of us who profess Christ as our Savior.

Giving grace to your kids is not a free pass for them to do whatever they want. Nor is God's grace a free pass for us to continue sinning when we know it's wrong.

There may be consequences when our kids sin, but our love is not removed because of their actions. Our love is not conditional. Extending parental love after they mess up is showing grace to our children.

Learning to show our kids grace will help them better understand God and what a loving father He is. We are God's representative on earth, attempting to model what He does for us.

Grace is an unbelievable gift from God! Our incredible God loves us amid our messes. He is so good. We won't even come close to always getting it right with our kids, but that's why we have forgiveness. Our relationship with our children will be stronger and deeper if we can learn to extend grace.

5. Humility

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humility."" 1 Peter 5:4

Parenting is extremely humbling. Just when you think you have it figured out, something changes, and you are back at square one. I think God designed it that way to keep us humble. We tend to lean on our own strength and forget we need Him.

Even if you start the parenting journey thinking you've got things under control, you may quickly realize parenting is more complicated than you thought. New situations arise, tougher and greater than the last, and you recognize how little we know and how desperately we need God. Humility ties in nicely with dependence on God.

Being able to acknowledge to your spouse and your kids that you don't know everything is huge. You and your spouse, alongside God, get to figure it out. You don't have to know all because He does. What a relief!

Humility helps us ward off pride and arrogance. Psalm 44:8 reminds us that we are to boast in God and praise His name forever.

Humility is being brought low. How many times have you laid in bed at a loss for how to handle a problem with one of your children? When we are brought low, when we realize how small we are and what little we have control over, we remember His promises and what a great God we have.

As Mark 12:30-31 states, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Ultimately, God is teaching us how to love our neighbors and fulfill His commandments. As parents, we are getting to practice how to put this into action every day. God loves us so much that He will use every opportunity, including our children, to sanctify us and help us grow.