5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger

1. Your Worth Is Found in Christ Alone

One thing I wish I knew when I was younger is that my worth is found in Christ alone. By the time I was a teenager, I had anorexia nervosa. This same horrible disease has plagued me to this day as it is not something that can easily be treated. 

I often wonder sometimes if the little me had grown up knowing that her worth was found in Christ rather than her weight or appearance if that would have changed something. 

I did not come to know Christ until I was in college; therefore, I had no idea of what Jesus said about me. I didn’t know that He loved me and that I was already declared wonderful and beautiful in His sight (Psalm 139:13-16). To my younger self, I would tell her that her worth is found in Christ alone. 

It is not found in her weight or her appearance. If anyone would make her feel otherwise, she could always turn back to Jesus and know the truth. Even though this is not what happened to me, we can help others to grow up knowing that their worth is found in Christ alone — not in their weight, body size, or appearance.

Instead of teaching diet culture, we need to teach younger girls and boys that their worthiness is not linked to their weight or appearance. Sadly, many of us grow up with the idea that if we are not thin, we are not pretty, and therefore, nobody will ever love us. 

This is not true, yet it is something that is permeated in society. As Christians, it is important that we teach the younger generation about their worth in Christ and help them know that they are loved, valuable, and wonderful just as they are. 

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2. You Don’t Have to Change to Fit In

A second thing I wish I knew when I was younger is that I didn’t have to change to fit in. Similar to many kids, I thought I had to change in order for people to like me. 

I became like a chameleon in a sense as I would try to be anything that anybody wanted — just for them to accept me. As much as I would like to say I have moved on from this, it is not true. Even during college, I became a chameleon because I so badly wanted people to like me and to be my friend.

As an adult post-college, I now know that real friends won’t want me to change. They will like me for me. This is a hard task, yet it is something that we must all learn. 

Nobody should have to change who they are and their very being just to fit in. In truth, what beauty and uniqueness is there in fitting in? Fitting in just normally means you are a copycat of someone else and there is no uniqueness to you. Who wants to be like this?

Moreover, who wants to live like this? Always trying to be someone you are not will become exhausting. Take it from me, it causes you to lose yourself in the process and with time, you will no longer recognize yourself. 

This is a terrible thing to find yourself in as it is very difficult to get out of. It can take years to discover who you truly are again. Instead of changing in the first place, we need to know that we are good enough just as we already are.  

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3. Find Real Friends 

A third thing I wish I knew when I was younger is that I need to find real friends and walk away from the people who make me feel bad. 

Throughout my life, I have been notorious in finding fake friends. Rather than finding real friends that are truly there for me, I encountered many mean girls. Sadly, I never seem to be able to tell who the mean girls are and I walk right into their trap.

Instead of being a friend in the group, I’m the odd one out. At times, it felt as though I was only invited to things for people to look down on me or make fun of me. 

As an adult now, I can now attest to the truth that I needed to get better at finding real friends and stop being around people who made me feel awful. There is a toxic relationship that occurs when one person wants to be someone’s friend, yet the other person is just using them for comic relief or to bully them.

Nobody deserves this. Everyone deserves to have real friends and to be around people who make them feel good. Even as an adult, I can see how much of these toxic friendships have damaged my self-view as well as how hard it is for me to be around people who really care. 

At times, it can feel unsafe or almost like there is a catch. Since I have had very few real friends, it can be hard for me to accept the truth that there are people who truly want to be my friend just because they like who I am. 

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4. Invest in More Time with Family

A fourth thing I wish I had known when I was younger is that it is important to invest more time with my family. When I was a teenager, my mother passed away from heart disease.

Although she had been diagnosed with heart disease for a few years, her death was very unexpected and shattered my entire world. As an adult now, one of my many regrets is that I wish I could have spent more time with her.

My mother was a very busy woman as she was the only provider for our family. Nonstop she was working and doing other things to help the family. Not only did she work over twelve hours a day, but she also homeschooled all of my sisters and myself.

This was a lot of work for my mom; therefore, she didn’t have much time for anything outside of these things. I wish I could go back to my younger self and tell her to spend more time with mom, even though she was busy.

I needed to make time and fully be present. As a teen, I struggled immensely with anxiety, and this often caused friction in my relationship with my mom. Now that I’m older I would tell my younger self that everything would be okay and the world wouldn’t end if I didn’t do everything the same exact way every day.

Instead, I could be adventurous and try new things, including spending more time with my mother. If I have learned anything from the early passing of my mother, I have learned that it is vital to spend time with family because you never know when they might pass on.

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5. Sometimes There Is Beauty in Giving Up

A fifth thing I wish I had known when I was younger is that sometimes there is beauty in giving up. Now, most of us are taught from a young age not to give up, myself included. However, sometimes there is beauty in giving up. 

As mentioned, I struggled with terrible anxiety as a teenager, and one of the things that could have helped me is knowing that it is okay to give up at times. While we shouldn’t give up just for anything, there is importance in giving up sometimes.

As an adult now, I know that I cannot juggle everything, and neither can you. We don’t need to set unrealistic standards for ourselves because it will only cause us to get stressed out. Look over the things you have to do every day and see which things actually bring you joy. If they are things that stress you out rather than bring you joy, then it might be something you need to give up.

This could be a stressful friendship, a toxic relationship, or a job that leaves you feeling drained. Life is too short to waste it on these things. If you find yourself in any of these situations today, it is best to give up these terrible things. 

They will only hurt you in the long run and give you problems. Despite what you have been taught, know that there is often beauty, relief, and hope when you give up things that are not good for you.  

There are many things I wish I had known when I was younger, but a few include knowing that my worth is found in Christ alone, I didn’t have to change to fit in, I needed to find real friends and walk away from people who made me feel bad, to spend more time with family, and to know that there is often beauty in giving up. 

Maybe these are things you wish you knew, too. We cannot change the past, but we can teach the younger generation these vital lessons. 

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