5 Ways Single Moms Can Have the Best Summer Ever

Summertime Tip 1: Take a Vacation (And Yes, Camping Counts)

Before expounding, I realize that traveling alone with young children is not really a vacation - it’s a family trip. Oh, the stark difference. And when you’re the only adult responsible for transporting, feeding, planning, and keeping an eye on little moving bodies all day, vacationing can definitely feel like more work than play. Best advice? Do it anyway. I honestly believe part of my soul has yet to recover from camping alone with my three boys years ago, post-divorce, and there was one Disney trip that commenced with me crying in the bathtub after losing the rental keys and nearly dying from heat stroke. Honestly, it’s a sacrifice, but going on vacation with your kids at least once a year is worth the memories and priceless quality time we rarely ever get. For those on a tight budget (and aren’t we all?), there are lots of affordable alternatives to taking more involved trips, like camping (I know, but it’s cheap), splitting an Airbnb with family, or even taking a “staycation,” visiting nearby attractions. There’ll always be valid excuses for skipping vacation this summer, but if you’re a single mom, you deserve this time, and so do your kids. Getting away for any solid chunk of time allows us to place an extended pause on the merciless chaos of our every waking day and simply enjoy the kids while they’re young. Our bank accounts will be full again someday. Our homes will not.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/gradyreese

Summertime Tip 2: Get Creative with Childcare and Say Yes to Help

School break is such a bittersweet time for the single mom. We want to embrace not having to rush our kids out the door every morning after pillaging drawers for matching socks, but now they’re home, begging for juice and assaulting each other over possession of the Xbox remote while we’re juggling calls. Finding childcare when working out of the home or finding ways to keep your kids busy when working remotely are true thorns in every single working mother’s side. It’ll never be easy, but I’ve gained two treasures of wisdom through the years: Get creative. And accept help. If you’re struggling to find summer activities for your kids, lots of town recreation departments offer week-long day camps that are much more affordable than other camps. Lots of churches also offer free daytime Vacation Bible Adventure programs (my kids have done three a summer!) Consider swapping childcare duties with another mom who works different hours or even bartering a service in exchange for babysitting help. It may also be helpful to “hire” older siblings or trusted teens in the family to keep watch over the littles rather than traditional daycare. If working remotely or hybrid in this post-COVID work culture, another possible hack would be gaining approval to work flexible blocks of time, starting the day two hours earlier or working two extra hours after the kids go down, for example, to free up time during those peak daytime hours. And perhaps most importantly, if any trusted human offers to watch the kids or even take them for a few hours on a Tuesday, say yes. Summer is not the time for pride, ladies. Work that out in the colder weather because these are desperate times.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Tom Merton

Summertime Tip 3: Summer Is Better with Friends

Aside from Jesus’ help, I’m not sure I would’ve survived any season, summer or otherwise, if it weren’t for other mom friends. Taking the kids on outings to amusement parks, the zoo, carnivals, and even simpler activities like the drive-in movies or the town pool can be much less stressful and much more fun in a pack. Aside from the comfort of having another adult to lean on, “summering” with other mom friends or even families can be so much more fun, as long as all the kids are genuinely comfortable with each other. It’s also important to take some time for ourselves this summer, even if it means arranging yet another round of childcare. Single mom guilt can especially flare up when doing something fun or out of the ordinary, just for ourselves, but no one wants a martyr mommy. When we’re tired, exhausted, or lacking personal fulfillment, we’re much less present, joyful, and patient with our kids. Consider a kid-free day trip, an overnight with friends or family, a few nice dinners out with the girls, a fresh Summer pedi, or a church retreat. A refreshed and happy mama makes everything better.

Summertime Tip 4: Slow Down and Smell the Bug Spray

As we all know, the only negative aspect of summer is that it goes by too fast. Between work and vacations, picnics and parties, it’s easy to let our summer fun list slip through the cracks. I love making summer bucket lists with the kids every year…even including simple things like “make smores around the fire,” “swim in a river,” and “hunt fireflies.” However, a loving warning to my type-A mamas rarely pausing for breath before rushing off to the next task on her list: Summer is a time to savor. I’ve never witnessed anyone savoring a good bit of filet or forkful of cheesecake in a hurry. Summer is a time to sit outside with the kids, listening to the crickets and counting stars in the moonlight before Fall arrives to usher us inside, cocooned in blankets ‘til Spring. Summer is one of the few magical times left in this hurried life, so allow yourself to slow down and soak up the muggy goodness. We’ll be chasin’ down buses and searching for lost homework before you know it.

Summertime Tip 5: Don’t Forget Your Quiet Time

There’s no better piece of advice for any season of single mom life than to make sure you have lots of quiet time with the Lord through Summer. I’ve found that amidst all the travel and kid-chaos at home, my Bible and prayer time tends to back seat during the Summer months. God, of course, never wants us to view alone time with Him as a duty or a box to be quickly checked before heading to the beach. Still, He also knows we’ll never have the fullest amount of joy or the very necessary abundance of peace if we’re not grounded in Him daily. Summer may be the best of times, but the life demands of the single mom also never stop, so we need to remember to care for our souls, above all else, in order to stay strong and grounded. With a tan, if possible.