5 Ways to Enjoy Valentine’s Day When You’re Not Feeling the Love

1. Skip the Flowers

Many couples feel they must purchase obligatory flowers or candy to celebrate their spouse on February 14th. But who says that must happen? TV commercials, social media, and peer pressure may make people feel they must conform, but you can decide what's best as a couple. Do what's right for you. Gauge how your marriage is going. If you've hit a rocky patch, skip the flowers and candy. Your spouse won't appreciate it as much anyway because they'll feel like you were just going through the motions. Having a heart-to-heart conversation and resolving some of your conflicts instead may be the best gift you can give each other this Valentine's Day. Maybe you skip fighting altogether and do something as a couple. Whatever you decide, don't bow to the stereotypes. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do when it comes to your relationship, including celebrating Valentine's Day.

2. Have a Nostalgia Night

Even if you're not feeling the love right now, remember and recall a time when you did enjoy the day. Which Valentine's Day did you feel truly loved? Re-create that day as best as you can. It doesn't have to be perfect to resurrect the love and commitment you once had for each other. Go to the same restaurant, watch the same movie, or walk the same beach you did that day. Remember what you walked about. What made you fall in love with each other?

Why did you fall in love? What qualities did you find in each other? Remind yourself of why you fell in love. There must have been a reason why you loved each other once, and you can love each other again. Nothing is impossible with God, and today is no different. God can always turn a troubled relationship, but it takes work. Do the work and invest in one of life's richest relationships.

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3. Make it about Them

While Valentine's Day is all about the other person, go the extra mile and make it even more about that person than ever. Do the special event or make that big purchase if you can. You never know when the people we love will be gone from our lives forever. It's no better time than now to show them you love them in extravagant ways.

4. Up the Fun Factor

One year, a professor in a spiritual formation class encouraged the class to "up the fun factor." He meant we need to have more fun in life. One time, this professor rented a Corvette and drove with the top down around a town of which he was speaking at a conference. Another time, he and his wife went out on the town. Even if finances are tight, resolve to have more fun with your spouse. Start on Valentine's Day. That day is a recipe for fun. Go dancing. Get dressed up and have a formal dinner. The possibilities are endless! Whatever it might be. Let your expectations of a mundane day go and make it a day to remember. Nothing shifts an unloving mood by throwing caution to the wind and letting your imagination go wild!

5. Love Others

If possible, show Valentine's Day love to friends, children, siblings, and others you love. Although Valentine's Day is reserved for your spouse, it doesn't have to be limited to only that. Do something the whole family will enjoy. Go with your family to a family-friendly restaurant. Eat dessert first. Drink milkshakes. Do whatever you want to do. Buy flowers for every member of your family. Buy them tickets for a special event. With a little planning and ingenuity, your whole family can take advantage of Valentine's Day. Buy your daughter an oversized teddy bear and some flowers. Even if she's a teenager and thinks it's lame, show her she's still a special woman in your life.

Go out to brunch or go out to breakfast. Make it a family affair. Valentine's Day doesn't have to just be about the spouse; it can be about the whole family. Use Valentine's Day to show how much you love everyone near and dear to your heart. If COVID taught us anything, it's that people in our lives can be gone in an instant. Our opportunities to spend time with them are few and far between. Let's make the most of our time with people by taking advantage of the fun moments we have. Even if it costs a little bit of money, sometimes it's okay to splurge. Plan to pay it down and plan a family fun trip for everyone. It could be a day away or could be a vacation. February is a great time to get away, especially in the doldrums of winter. Go on a cruise or go across the country. Even though Valentine's Day is on a workday, take the days off and enjoy time with your family. There is no time like the present.

Although Valentine's Day is about loving the physical people in your life, it is another great time for us to put God first. Show God how much you love him by spending extra time with him. Spend time with him simply to be with him, not to get anything from him. Of course, God wants to hear all our requests and cares about us, so if you need to cry out or speak to him, do so. A marriage that has God first will never crumble. Put God first in your prayer life and start your day praying together as a couple. You may find that it lifts your spirits more than anything.

Valentine's Day can be an ordinary day, or it can be a great day. It depends on how you decide to spend it. Even if we don't feel like planning a grandiose event, anything you do that will show someone you love them will go a long way. Don't just skip over the day; instead, use the time to show your loved ones how much they mean to you and their presence in your life.