6 Powerful Ways to Affirm Your Husband in His Role

1. Tell Him

Our words matter. They matter a lot, actually, especially to the ones we love and cherish most. The words we exchange with our spouse have the potential to build them up or tear them down (Proverbs 12:3).

The truth of the matter is even if he isn't too much a "words of affirmation" person (based on the love languages), the words we choose to say and how we choose to say them (yes, delivery matters too), have a huge impact on our marriage.

While sweetly saying, "I love you" or "You're a really great husband" are equally important, you may wonder what other heartfelt words could be expressed to encourage and support him. So, try some of the sentiments below and see how he responds.

You make me a better person.

I am so grateful to be doing this life with you.

Thank you for working so hard and providing for our family.

Your friends are lucky to have your wisdom and support.

You make such an amazing dad.

I love watching you do things for our family.

God really blessed me – with you!

Side note: Men generally tend to work off kudos, thanks, and praise, but trust me, those genuine words of affirmation will essentially bless you both!

2. Show Him

God wants our marriages to be sacrificial, striving to outdo each other in love and honor (Romans 12:9-10). One of the best ways we can show our husbands love and affirm them in their role is by first embracing our own roles as wives.

That starts with recognizing that God may have made man as the head of the house, but He made women the crown (Proverbs 12:4). Meaning we have the power to reflect our husband's (and essentially our family's) image in the way we portray ourselves. In short, a good wife makes her husband look amazing in how she embraces biblical womanhood.

He will have full confidence in us when we affirm our husbands with our intentionality to be feminine, trustworthy, diligent, compassionate, and loyal (Proverbs 31:10-31). Try to pay more attention to the details in your life (aiming to please him), like how you dress and gently respond, and see how his demeanor may also change.

3. Serve Him

There are so many ways to bless your husband by simply serving him and meeting some of his basic needs. My husband will often smile (with a wink) and say, "The sock fairies returned my socks again," after I've done his laundry.

However, oftentimes, we fall into a rut and do those simple (or repetitive) chores, and it can become rather cumbersome or may even produce a low grumble in our hearts. Sigh. Yes, I can relate.

When that happens, flip the script and try to be more mindful and intentional, serving him in special ways that speak to his heart. Truth be told, you know your hubby best, so think of some ways you can serve him that would genuinely bless him.

If you are unsure where to start, simply ask him. You may be surprised how your acts of service can help lessen his load or ease some of his everyday burdens, essentially affirming him.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/People Images

4. Respect Him

Honor, love, and respect. These three words get tossed around quite a bit in the Christian marriage realm, but if God's Word tells us we are to honor, love, and respect all people (1 Peter 2:17), how do we portray this in a marriage exactly?

In short, men are called to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25), and women are called to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33); both are to honor their marriage.

Friend, we must understand that respect for a man is not only wanted but also essential. That is because it encompasses who he is – his worth, value, choices, opinions, achievements, goals, etc. It is what drives him to do more or to give up. Essentially, if we encourage our husband and support his efforts, he will have the will and desire to preserve.

So, how do we respect our husbands? Well, that gets a little more personal.

Respecting your husband may look like attentive listening and giving him your undivided attention or taking note of his interests and enjoying some of those together. It could also be praising him, encouraging him, or giving him physical affection. It could also be letting him fail and helping him find ways to succeed.

Truthfully, respecting your man will be unique to him, so try to be patient as you find ways to really affirm him in a personal way. However, when you do, you will find that the bond in your marriage will be unified and strengthened.

5. Submit to Him

God's Word is pretty clear. He has valuable instructions for us to withhold in the confines of our marriage, and it starts with Him! He commands us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

This is a mutual submission. We are both called to put our spouse's needs above our own, noting that when we do, we are serving the Lord. The good news is that God knows what is best for our marriages. His Word tells us that when a man leads well, submitting to the Lord, a wife can easily submit to his leadership (Ephesians 5:23). It furthermore states that when a woman is diligently serving her husband and children, submitting first and foremost to the Lord as well, her husband has complete confidence in her abilities (Proverbs 31: 11).

Submission is a form of love as we surrender all to God and allow Him to lead and direct our marriage, then submit to our spouse. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 lays that out for us beautifully, declaring that love is patient and kind. Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs or become easily angered. True love, the kind God wants for our union, is built on trust, finds ways to protect against the schemes of the deceiver, and always clings to hope and preserves.

Related: 

Is Marriage Meant to Be a Headship or a Partnership?

What Submission Is Not

What Is Submission in Marriage?

6. Pray!

Finally, but most importantly, I cannot emphasize enough the power of your prayers. When you have tried to show, tell, serve, respect, and submit, and it doesn't seem to be affirming your sweet guy, then pray! Pray for him to be affirmed first by His Heavenly Father and for his heart to feel His immense love. Then pray that God softens your heart and shows you ways to be the wife He is calling you to be for your dear husband.

Keep in mind that your marriage will come with its own set of highs and lows, but there is also an enemy working overtime trying to sabotage all the good you are pouring into it. So, stand firm and fight back by continuing to place it all (the good, bad, and ugly) at the feet of your Savior.

Finally, ask God to give you wisdom and discernment and to place women in your life to come alongside and support you. Ask God to give your husband Godly influences as well. Invite God into all the dark and messy places in your marriage and allow Him to lead and direct you and your husband, believing He can do great work in you both.

A Prayer for Your Marriage

Faithful Father, I lift up the precious woman reading this today and ask that You come into her heart and remind her of Your incredible love. Give her the wisdom and strength to be the wife she needs to be and help her notice "the good." Give her precious moments to truly see her husband and affirm him in the ways he needs most. Give her the words to touch his heart. Provide her ways to show him how thankful she is for his role as husband and father while granting her a happy heart to serve him joyfully. Open her eyes to the ways he feels most respected, and as she strives to meet that need, help them both learn to humbly submit their marriage to You. I ask this in Your precious Name. Amen.