6 Practical Things to Do When Singleness Gets Isolating

1. Build a Community at Church

One of the best ways to avoid isolation is to get involved in a solid, rooted, and healthy community. God designed the Church to be one where believers do life together, single or married, and to do so in harmony, in iron sharpening iron through the building up of faith and through encouragement to grow in faith. If you do not have a solid community of faith, invite the Lord into the conversation more than ever for direction. Ask Him to lead and guide you to a place where you can serve Him and enjoy fellowship with others. Get plugged in by serving in a Church or attending a function where you can get to know those who are also involved in your community. Small groups are a great way to grow community, and if you don’t see a group that interests you or is speaking to what you need right now, start one! Community is an antidote to isolation.

2. Adventure with God

Your time spent single does not mean you are alone; when you are living life for and with Jesus, you are never truly alone. Ask the Lord for adventure, and offer your joyous “YES!” when adventure comes calling. Don’t be surprised if He invites you on a solo trip or adventure with Him as well. 

Once, my favorite band, Relient K, was doing a one-day-only Sea World show, and I felt an invitation from the Lord to go. I was shocked when not even one of my friends could attend with me, but I still felt Him authoring the trip. I went, and the day was filled with wonder as God and I boarded the plane from Virginia to Florida and spent the day with surprises, unexpected gifts, and connective communication. I followed as I felt the Spirit of the Lord encourage me to go to check out the sound stage all to find I was able to catch a decent portion of sound check, but if I had been with friends I am unsure I would have felt His nudging. I am a solid introvert, and at times a severe introvert, but I found myself chatting with those who were behind me in line for the concert before it began. I left the concert with a few new friends, some I can tell will be brothers and sisters in the faith for the rest of my life. If I had held my pride so high as not to go to a concert “alone,” I would have missed out on one of my favorite days spent with God. It was a gift, and it reminded me that the words of Matt Thiessen of Relient K in their song, Therapy, are true, “loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused, cuz I spent my solitude with You.” Adventure with God; you never know where He may lead you.

3. Host a Girl’s or Guy’s Night In

We often believe we are the only ones experiencing something when others can be battling the same despondent feelings of being alone. Don’t assume, but invite others to come out for a night of laughter and fun. If you are a gal, consider a girl’s night in with crafts, a favorite 90’s Romcom, or a mini spa night. For the guys, consider a bonfire or an axe-throwing evening with some pals. You don’t need to have potential romantic partners to have a fun evening. You can grow valuable friendships while experiencing time with those of the same sex as well. Even a simple dinner out can offer wonders for your mental, emotional, and even spiritual outlook on things.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/miniseries

4. Spend Time with Family

When you grow up with brothers and sisters or with parents, you can sometimes take them for granted, thinking they will always be right where you left them, but the truth is everything changes in time. Take time to invest in your family and make memories with them. You will never regret calling a grandparent to check in on them and glean from their wisdom, nor will you regret taking your parents out to a good meal. Remember that they are gifts from God to you, and when you choose to spend time with them, they can be vessels of the Lord to inspire you, encourage you, and pour life-giving advice into you. Family is one of God’s greatest gifts, and when you know you have a solid family, be it ever so small, you know that you are not as isolated as the enemy wants you to believe.

5. Volunteer and Give Back

Some of the time you spend single will be when you have the most ample free time available in your entire life, but you do not need it to all be spent on yourself. Consider giving back and volunteering with your time. If you do not have the added responsibly of taking care of children or needing to make it back home to a spouse to start dinner, this could be a precious time where you can help those in need. Perhaps you could volunteer at an animal shelter and get some loving cuddles from God’s cutest creatures or teach T-Ball or a sport to youngsters. You may find that when you spend more time giving back and helping others, this time of being single is not so bad after all, and it is, in fact, helping you see the world is far more significant than just a romantic relationship.

6. Grow Your Faith and Relationship with God

Most important of all, remember that your relationship with God is the most critical relationship in your entire life. You are never truly isolated or alone when you are with Him, and taking this time to get to know Him better is the purpose of our time spent on earth. We are placed here to live the lives He designed us to live, but to also come into a deeper, fuller, beautiful relationship with Him to get to know Him personally before we enter Heaven’s Gates. Ask the Lord what He is teaching you in this time that requires you to be single or ask Him to help you let go of past hurts to find healing only He can bring. Ask God to be your confidant, best friend, and spouse. Remember that even if He sends you an earthly spouse, Jesus is always to be your greatest, most beloved spouse. Know that He never wastes your time as well, so instead of looking at this time as a forced time of being alone, consider that you can give Him all your time right now; nothing is shared or split.

Do not fall into the pernicious trap of believing that you are forever alone, for each day has a specific purpose and plan in God’s book of your life. Connect with Him and invite Him into your plans, your day, and your relationships. You may just find He has so much more in store than you could ever imagine.

Do you ever feel especially isolated or lonely? What makes this feeling worse, and what have you found helps when you’re in a dark place? Weigh in on Crosswalk Forums!