6 Ways to Find Contentment as a Single Christian

1. Contentment Doesn’t Mean You Give Up on the Desire to Be Married

Contentment does not mean you give up on ever finding love. If, like Paul, you have been called to be single for life, there is typically a sense of knowing that call or a lack of desire when it comes to the idea of marriage, but that is a rare calling. For most, there is the seed of hope and desire to be married, but it has proved a tedious waiting game to find that God-given spouse. It is important to realize that in finding contentment in your season it does not negate the desire to have a spouse, it just means you are stewarding the season you are in well. It means taking captive thoughts of bitterness, lies that you are less cared for than others by God, or fears that you will never have a spouse and bringing them to the feet of the Lord for His input and revelation. Just as God gave Adam a wife that was intentionally given, trust God to bring His choice for you. Remember that contentment is a grateful heart, not a numb one.

2. Be Grateful for This Season

Gratitude is a wonderful gift that reframes your perspective in life. Instead of viewing a season of singleness as something you have to go through, view it as something you get to live through! Being single can offer opportunities that being married never could. Ask the Lord to bring about journeys, experiences, or lessons that He desires you to give a whole-hearted, “yes!” to or to help you become keenly aware of the good and beneficial things happening to you. This is not a time to become apathetic or numb, merely going through the motions until the next season, it is a time to live and live abundantly in this very day. Think of ways you can practice gratitude in this time as well, even if it is just enjoying a big bed to yourself or getting to choose what show to watch without having to consider someone else’s preference! Gratitude is the gateway to contentment.

3. Work with Him for Refinement in You

Refinement is a beautiful thing. Isaiah 48:10 shares, “I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” In your season of singleness, there may be an opportunity for God to do refinement in and through you. Although it rarely feels good in the middle of it all, in retrospect, it is something you will see great value in and thank Him for when the process has been completed. Refinement allows you to become more like Christ, and it also removes from you the things that are not truly “you.” Find security and rest that refinement is helping you to become the person He dreamed you up to be all along.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/ljubaphoto

4. Get to Know Who You Are Through Identity Rooted in Christ

God knows exactly who you are and who He made you to be your real identity. Psalm 139:13-15 shares: 

“For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.” 

Society, the world, and others will seek to define you, to tell you who you are, and to convince you of things that more than likely will stir a feeling of dissonance within your own spirit. Only through God can we come to truly and wholly know who we really are and who He intentionally crafted us to become. Go before Him during this season and ask Him to reveal to you, teach you, and offer understanding of who you truly are through Him and in time you will find that you can then enter into a relationship with a firmer grasp on your own identity, one that is rooted and revealed through Christ Jesus.

5. Pursue Your Relationship with Christ as Spouse

More than anything in seeking contentment during singleness we must realize that God has already graciously given us His best Spouse for us through Christ Jesus. That revelation was given to me when I was in prayer one day, asking God for His best. In my heart He answered me that a human husband would be, “second best” to which I was a tad confused, but He continued to reveal that in giving us His Son we have already been given His best, so a human spouse chosen by Him would therefore be His second best. Revelation 19:7-8 shares, “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it had granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.”

In this, seek to pursue, build, and root your relationship with His best Spouse for you during this time. Even after God gives you an earthly spouse Christ ought to be first always, your first and best love. Ask Him to help you know Christ as Husband and what that really means through knowing Him more richly.

6. Foster Community

Community is something you will need in and out of a romantic relationship. Fostering a strong community of fellow believers will provide a garden of companions you can lean on and pour into through various seasons of life. Surround yourself with not only singles but also those who are married. Learn from their experiences, insights, and wisdom, and know that you can also provide them with a rich perspective from your own walk. Cultivating authentic relationships now can help you in the present and in the future.

Live Vibrantly

God does not love you less because He has not brought you an earthly spouse, and this time in your life holds great worth and value. Seek Him for what it really means to be content, to see what He is doing, and to shift your perspective in the timing of your life. It does not mean that you will not at times feel discouraged, but know it is all under His control. Rely on Him, seek Him, and follow the leading of His Holy Spirit in your walk and in these times. Being content does not mean you have given up. It means that you are living vibrantly in the present moment knowing it holds great purpose in His story that He has written specifically for you. You are deeply loved, cherished, and seen by our Heavenly Father.