6 Ways to Raise Your Kids to Know Their True Identity

1. Reflect on Bible Passages Together by Filling Their Hearts and Minds with Truth

With so many things trying to distract your kids from their true identity, it is important to be proactive and help your kids know where their true identity is found. One of the best ways to raise your kids to know their worth is by reflecting on Bible passages together by filling their hearts and minds with truth. The Bible contains everything we need in order to grow in our walk with Jesus, learn about Him, and know our true worth (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

For your kids to know their true identity, start reading them certain Bible passages that talk about their worth in Christ and the love He has for them. A few passages to fill their hearts and minds with truth could include:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" (Psalm 139:13-14).

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will" (Ephesians 1:4-5).

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).

These are just a few Bible verses to get you started as you help your children know their true identity. Whenever they are questioning their identity or are curious about their worth, open up the Bible to one of these passages. Each of these Bible passages will point your child to knowing that their identity, worth, and value are all found in Jesus. These passages will also help your children remember that God loves them without conditions.

2. Consistently Pointing Kids to their Identity in Christ—Not the Things of the World

Many Christian parents try their best to ensure their kids know their identity is in Christ, only actually to push them away from Jesus. You should be pointing your kids to Christ, but don't be too aggressive or pushy. The Lord will help you if this is a struggle you have noticed. The Father wants everyone to know their identity is in His Son, and He will equip you with the proper tools.

Parents tend to make a fuss about things that are not important to their children's actual spiritual growth, such as appearance, grades, or accomplishments. Don't do this if you want your kid to grow up knowing their identity is in Jesus. If you, as their parent, are stressing more over their grades or how well they are doing at making friends rather than cultivating a strong identity in Christ, your kid will begin to find their identity in their grades, accomplishments, or how popular they are.

This is why it is important for parents not to stress these things so much. If you, as the parent, put more emphasis on your children getting straight A's rather than them knowing their worth is in Jesus, it will rub off on your children. Instead of resting in the peace of an eternal identity in Christ, your kid will feel as though they need to continually be working on bettering their identity by being the best in school, keeping straight A's, and being the top of the class.

They will be so far away from ever seeing their identity in Jesus. Instead, they will see their identity in being the smart kid, the popular kid, or the funny kid. A key way to avoid this is by consistently pointing your kids to their identity in Jesus—not in their accomplishments, grades, or anything else. Their worth, value, and identity are found in Jesus alone.

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3. Reinforce God's Love and View of Them During Times of Failure

There will be times when your kids will fail and this may cause them to lose a sense of identity and worth. This is especially true if your kid is finding their worth in their successes. When your kid is facing a time of failure, such as failing a test, missing the winning shot at basketball, or not getting invited to a birthday party, you need to reinforce God's love for them. Help then to remember the key truth of John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

From John 3:16, you can reinforce to your child that God's love is so big, strong, and mighty that nothing can break it. Even though they are facing a time of failure right now does not mean that God loves them any less. Make sure they also know that you don't love them any less either. Children need to be reminded of the love God has for them as well as their own parents' love for them.

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4. Don't Force Perfection on Your Kids

I have observed that many parents try to live out their own failed dreams through their children. In doing so, they force perfection on their kids. This is not healthy and can lead to many problems for your children. They will have an eschewed view of themselves and their self-worth and think that their identity is found in perfection.

As adults who follow the Lord, we know perfection is not attainable. Only the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are perfect. Perfectionism is not possible for us as humans because we have a sinful nature (Romans 3:23). All of this is to say that forcing perfection on your children will not help them know their true identity. It will only cause them to feel they have to continually chase after an identity that was never true in the first place.

5. Encourage and Model Prayer for Your Kids

Parents often tell their children to pray, but how often do parents themselves model prayer for their children? Sadly, many children never even see their parents pray. If you want to raise your kids to know their true identity is in Christ, then they need to get to know Him and trust Him. This can be done through encouraging and modeling prayer for your kids.

Teach them by example how to pray to Jesus and talk with Him. Help them to know that Jesus is their friend and He loves them without limits. Within a short time, they will start wanting to talk to Jesus on their own. As you watch the days progress, you might see them become more confident in their identity. No longer will they tie their worth and value to other things—they will be confident in the Lord.

6. As a Parent, Knowing Your Own Identity Is in Christ

A great way for kids to learn is by example. If they see you as their parent displaying a healthy knowledge of knowing their identity is in Christ, they will be more likely to believe it and hold onto it. We don't give kids enough credit—sometimes, they can notice things we don't even pick up on as adults. Children can tell where you are placing your identity. A few questions for you to ask yourself are: 

-Do I find my identity in my appearance, my career, or even in motherhood?

-Would my sense of identity and security be shattered if I didn't have one of these things anymore?

By answering these questions, you will be able to see where your identity truly lies. If you find it's not found in Jesus, then it is time to make a change. Once you make this change, your kids will start to notice. With time, the more you are confident in your own identity in Jesus, they will become more confident in their identities in Christ as well.

Children look up to their parents in all areas of life, including the spiritual. Wanting to raise your kids to know their true identity is in Christ is beautiful and very important. As you are helping your kids know their identity is in Christ, remember to cultivate your own identity in Christ and self-worth. The more you practice it for yourself, the more you will help your own kids know their wonderful and amazing identity is found in the Lord Jesus Christ.