7 Prayers That Don't Work

1. Artificially Lengthy

"When you pray, don't talk on and on as people do who don't know God. They think God likes to hear long prayers" (Matthew 6:7, CEV).

Confession: my prayers tend to lean on the lengthy side of things.

But when you consider the many topics I cover in prayer, the length makes sense. Consider these themes (in no particular order): my personal needs and those of my family, including praying for the salvation of extended family members. Then comes my practice and writing endeavors. Israel and the nations. America. Elected officials, including in my city, state, and nation. Finally, I lift up the persecuted church and those unjustly imprisoned around the world.

See how long my prayers can be?

That's why it's important to zero in on the specifics of the warning Jesus issued in the verse above. He's not prohibiting long prayers, exactly. Instead, Jesus instructs us not to pad our prayers with empty words.

Pray from your heart. If it takes a long time to cover every point, so be it. But there's no need to repeat things over and over just to prolong your prayer.

The length and width of your requests don't have any bearing on heaven's court.

2. Passive-Aggressive

Have you ever witnessed a prayer in which the speaker had an axe to grind? Here is an example. If a mother feels resentful because her children hardly pay her any attention, she can use prayer as a vessel to voice her resentment—so her kids, who are in attendance, would hear it.

A prayer to bless the food may devolve into one in which this mother asks God to "please forgive these children for not loving their mother enough."

This type of prayer doesn't work because it's primarily meant for another person's ears and not God, which is a version of what Matthew 6:5 warns against: "And when you pray, be not like the pretenders who like to stand in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets to pray, that they may be seen by the children of men, and truly I say to you, they have received their reward" (HPBT).

How about if we rework the above scenario? A better strategy involves the fictitious mother working through her feelings, whether with God or in therapy, so that bitterness won't sully her prayers. If she needs to forgive, it's best for her to do so in the privacy of her own time.

Don't use prayer as a way to show off, shame, or sideline anyone. This gesture can easily qualify as a stumbling block in another's path toward God, which the Bible warns us against doing (Luke 17:1-2, Romans 14:13).

3. Faithless

The Bible makes a big deal about faith. It's impossible to please God without faith (Hebrews 11:6). We are to live by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7). When Jesus walked the earth, He often credited the faith of the person He healed as the source of the miracle (Matthew 8:10, Matthew 15:28).

Faith serves as a currency in the kingdom of God. He exhorts us to examine ours (2 Corinthians 13:5). Paul praised the Thessalonian church not because of how generous or prayerful they were but because their faith and love kept growing (2 Thessalonians 1:3).

Verses about faith are not limited to the New Testament. In the Old Testament, Proverbs clearly warns about faithless prayers: "The eyes of the LORD preserve knowledge, But He overthrows the words of the faithless" (Proverbs 22:12, NKJV). If He overthrows the words of the faithless, including in prayer, then needless to say, He won't respond to them either.

When you pray, do so with faith. Trust that the God who is love (1 John 4:8, 16) will give you the best.

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4. Imprecatory

This mouthful term refers to prayers in the Psalms with the sole purpose of asking God to thwack another. Here is a snippet: "When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him. May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes" (Psalm 109: 7-10, NIV).

Whoa. Talk about spite. Could you sense David's figurative daggers shooting out from his words?

Imprecatory prayers predate the Cross—the greatest injustice ever recorded, when God, in His kindness, surrendered His own Son as a payment for sins. Perhaps, before Jesus came, God accepted prayers that called down destruction on those who opposed His people. But afterward—that is after the Son taught the world to love our enemies and pray for the benefit of those who persecute us (Matthew 5:43-45)—we have zero grounds to pray punitive prayers any longer.

5. Your Own Will

Want answered prayers? Lean on these verses: "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him" (1 John 5:14-15, NASB).

Did you catch the key? Ask God for His will. If you do so, He will not only hear you but also fulfill your requests.

But this exhortation isn't a license for us to live lazily. "I'm praying for whatever God's will is for me" is a royal cop-out. Instead, search His Word for His will. For example, if you're single and pining for marriage, search the Bible to see if marriage is God's will for you. Meditate on verses like Genesis 2:18—"It isn't good that man should be alone" (NKJV)—and ask the Holy Spirit if you can use it to back up your petition regarding marriage.

As a safeguard, you can copy Jesus' own words to end your prayer: "Not my will, but Yours be done" (Luke 22:42).

But what if you have a sneaking suspicion that your will opposes God's? Since praying God's will is one key to answered prayers, ask the Lord to change your heart. Pray Philippians 2:13: "It is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose" (emphasis added).

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6. Setting Time Limits

In reality, this concept can take various forms. For instance,

• "Lord, please give me a baby before I turn 30."
• "If my husband doesn't change his ways in three months, I'll take it as a sign we're supposed to separate."
• "Please give me the money to pay my credit cards when they're due."

Since we only know in part (1 Corinthians 13:9), in the grand scheme of things, even what we think we know may be woefully inaccurate. For instance, you may think it's best to start a family before turning 30. But if the Lord knows that you need more time to heal or mature, delaying the chapter on parenthood until after it happens—regardless of your age—will benefit you and your child both.

That's because you'll pass on any issues you haven't dealt with to your child. Guaranteed.

God knows what we need before we even ask (Matthew 6:8). This includes the best time for everything. Since "God has made everything beautiful for its own time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NLT), setting an expiration date for your prayers may work against you.

Then there's the issue of setting a time limit for someone else to change, which directly opposes free will. While you can certainly pray for the Lord to soften someone's heart, realize that humans are notoriously resistant to change. (That's why you tend to pick the same pew every Sunday). God's respect for free will means He won't bend the other person's will to change within the period you've arbitrarily decided in your prayer.

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7. Degrading Your Value

Some mistakenly think it's best to remind God of their worthless state in their prayers. Coupled with this lowly view of themselves, they are not asking in faith and instead begging God for what they need. They might say things like, "God, I'm only a sinner who's unworthy of You. But could You please give me ____? Please?"

Adopting this attitude in prayer disrespects God's Word, particularly what He has said about us.

Consider how the New Testament views our status in Christ:

"You are no longer slaves. You are God's children, and you will be given what He has promised" (Galatians 4:7, CEV).

"And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory" (Romans 8:17, NLT).

"So then you are no longer strangers and aliens [outsiders without rights of citizenship], but you are fellow citizens with the saints (God's people), and are [members] of God's household" (Ephesians 2:19, AMP).

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light" (1 Peter 2:9, ESV).

Jesus Himself upgraded our status from servants to friends: "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because all things that I heard from My Father, I have made known to you" (John 15:15, BLB).

In light of these terms of endearment—friends of Jesus, chosen, a people for His own possession, citizens along with the saints, children, and heirs of God—it must sadden the Father when He hears us use self-demeaning terms. The analogy is far from perfect, but it's akin to a woman who agreed to take her husband's last name upon marriage, only to tie the knot and use her maiden name instead.

Let's do better.

Let's approach God with boldness and faith: "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16), believing that as a good Father, He delights to delight us.

Here's to a future of more answered prayers.