7 Signs It's Time to Spiritually Reconnect with Your Spouse

1. Lack of shared spiritual practices

Engaging in spiritual activities—such as prayer, worship, and Bible study—is crucial for maintaining a strong spiritual bond. When couples neglect these practices, it can damage the relationship’s overall health.

The Bible emphasizes the importance of spiritual, relational unity in passages like Matthew 18:20: “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” When two people come together in faith, we experience God’s presence more deeply.

Couples should intentionally create opportunities for shared spiritual experiences. This can include setting aside time for joint prayer sessions, attending religious services, or reading and discussing scripture. The resulting sense of unity and shared purpose helps spouses grow closer together—not just spiritually but emotionally.

The process requires intentional effort. We might start by discussing good times and which activity we’d like to do together. We can start with small and manageable practices. When a struggle occurs, we give grace and start again. Maybe we adjust how much time or space we use to improve the activity.

Prioritizing shared spiritual activities takes disconnection and replaces it with a fulfilling spiritual connection.

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2. Decreased communication about spiritual matters

We can get busy with religious activities yet never have any real conversation about the God we love.

When couples stop discussing their beliefs and spiritual experiences, they lose the sense they are on a spiritual journey together. Regular, meaningful conversations about spirituality nurture our spiritual bonds.

As the Bible reminds us, spiritual unity and communication matter:

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.” (Colossians 3:16)

Sharing spiritual wisdom and encouragement particularly strengthens the bond between husband and wife. Couples should prioritize spiritual discussions.

Create a routine—time each week for a “faith check-in” so these conversations become a regular part of the marriage. Dedicated time also allows us to consider what we can share—what questions we want to ask and what God is doing in our lives currently.

We can discuss many things during this time, such as insights from Bible study, recent sermons, or religious teachings. We may mention how our faith influenced our daily decisions and challenges this week. Understanding each other’s spiritual journeys helps us see we can reach out for support and encouragement.

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3. Increased stress and anxiety

Openly discussing your fears and anxieties with your partner can also strengthen your spiritual bond. Sharing your burdens and offering mutual encouragement aligns with Philippians 4:6-7:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

When I start experiencing stress and anxiety, expressing frustration, my wife invariably asks, “Have you been reading the Bible and praying?” She knows how these affect my mood and bring me to peace. Increased stress and anxiety in a marriage often indicate that it’s time to reconnect with your partner spiritually. Life’s pressures and challenges can leave us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected.

Reconnecting through shared spiritual practices helps remind spouses to seek God first and trust his provision and care through life’s hardships. This is especially true when we engage in prayer together. We realize we’re not alone and see how we can encourage each other.

Comfort, strength, and mutual support help couples navigate difficult times together. Stress and anxiety become growth opportunities, deepening the marriage’s spiritual and emotional bonds.

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4. Neglecting spiritual goals

If the devil can distract us from our spiritual growth and goals by making us extremely busy, he will. He will even do it with good things—activities that are good in themselves, like work or church activities, but not substitutes for our spiritual health.

We often set aside spiritual commitments and goals in busy times. When that happens, we know we must reconnect with God and our spouse. Neglecting spiritual growth can lead to dissatisfaction. Only by addressing the problem together can spouses return to thriving and strengthen their marriage.

The Bible emphasizes that people (couples included) should encourage each other:

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

Start by openly discussing your spiritual goals and the reasons those goals have been neglected. Honesty fosters mutual understanding and support. It helps each spouse feel valued and heard, which is crucial to collaborating on regaining spiritual growth.

Setting shared spiritual goals—like regular prayer sessions, reading a devotional together, and joining a Bible study group—also helps. Shared activities support individual spiritual growth and help spouses spiritually grow together.

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5. Feeling isolated in your spiritual beliefs

God cares about our unity, especially since he is three in one, the Trinity. The original design for marriage between Adam and Eve continues to this day: they become one flesh (Genesis 3). The Bible reminds us that we receive blessings when we come together: “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1).

As unity helps us grow, a lack of unity creates problems. We feel isolated when we don’t share our spiritual journeys or talk about the practices that help us stay connected to God. God doesn’t want us separated from our spouse. Spouses should help each other grow in their faith. Divided spiritual beliefs drive couples apart. Without communication, couples can’t agree on the spiritual practices (for example, what church to attend) they should do together.

Create opportunities for open, honest conversations about your faith. Sharing your spiritual experiences, beliefs, and questions with your partner can help you appreciate each other’s perspectives. Dialogue can also reveal common ground and areas for growth together.

 In marriage, unity anoints us with joy and spiritual power for other areas of life.

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6. Conflicts over spiritual matters

The Bible offers guidance on resolving conflicts and promoting unity:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3)

When we don’t pursue these attitudes, problems arise. We feel disconnected. We grow separately instead of together. Eventually, we experience conflicts over spiritual matters. If the conflicts are not dealt with in time, they become sources of tension and division. Both spouses end up feeling frustrated and misunderstood.

Addressing conflicts requires intentional, open communication so both partners feel heard and respected. You can begin the process through respectful dialogue about your spiritual beliefs. It is important to have an open mind and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives in these conversations. The conversations lead to finding common beliefs, which helps to build a spiritual foundation. From there, you can find spiritual activities to do together. The new sense of shared purpose reduces conflicts and promotes harmony.

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7. Desire for a deeper connection

As we’ve already mentioned, God is in relationship with himself. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit relate to each other. This three-as-one relationship is a mystery to us, but it is real.

Since we are created in God’s image, we also need relationships. We need intimate relationship with God first. We also need to relate to others made in his image. The Bible underscores how key loving relationships are to our lives: “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:14). God is love, and continuing in love increases our marriage intimacy and connection. 

Many of our issues, at the root, stem from our legitimate longings to connect with others. We may pervert this longing or try fulfilling it in unhealthy ways, like selfishness and control. Still, the desire exists. When we realize we’re not seeking relationship with God, our spouses, and a larger community, or we are being selfish with our human relationships, we know we have a problem.

We can start to fix the problem by reminding ourselves that we have a basic need for intimate connection. Second, we consider the blessing we have: Christian marriages provide a great gift of deep spiritual intimacy with each other, a gift we won’t experience in any other relationship.

Yes, marriage requires work, but we can also find great joy in it. Once we remember our desire for deeper connection, we can properly see why we feel dissatisfied. If we long for a more profound bond with our spouse, it often means our relationship needs a spiritual renewal. Addressing this need, using the tools mentioned earlier (praying together, intentionally exploring, and sharing our faith journeys) gets us back on track. 

Related Resource: 3 Reasons Why We're Okay Going to Bed Mad in Our Marriage

Within the Christian community, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” is often quoted as a hard-and-fast rule for married couples to follow whenever they experience conflict. But sometimes Ted and I do go to bed mad—and surprisingly, it’s been good for our marriage. In today’s episode of the Team Us Podcast, we’ll tell you why. If you enjoy this episode, be sure to subscribe to the show on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode - new episodes drop every Tuesday!

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