7 Steps to Take When Life Doesn't Go Your Way

1. Remember God is in Control

Don’t panic, no one lives out their entire life with first best. I believe that God has a life plan for us all. I call it, “Plan A”. But I don’t know anyone who goes from birth to glory on Plan A, all the way. Often, when we get off track God says, “Okay we can get back to Plan A.” On the other hand, there are times when we make choices and behave poorly and God has to say, “I’m sorry,” we can’t get back to Plan A from here. We must jump to Plan B. Thank God he has a Plan B. But the truth is that many of us are living on Plan X Triple Prime. Thank God for grace.

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2. Have Faith

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

Keep your faith intact. God has a plan for your life. One of the best tests of a person’s faith is when we see him or her, wanting Bithynia and getting Macedonia, and yet is still certain that there’s a purpose for his or her life.

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3. Beware Bitterness

Don’t automatically assume that what seems to be second-best is really second-best. Satan also opens doors and provides options. Abraham was called by God to go to Canaan. A famine was raging there. When Abraham heard of the harvest in Egypt he said, “God has opened the door in Egypt!” So he went to Egypt and got into all sorts of trouble. He lied about Sarah; he hired Hagar who soon mothered Ishmael; and the Arabs and Jews have been fighting it out ever since.

Later God scolded Abraham for running to Egypt. “I was going to feed you supernaturally so that all of the people in Cana would know that your God was the true God and you blew it.”

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4. Be Willing to Wait

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. - Philippians 4:6

Don’t be in a hurry. Be patient. Wait for God’s clear word before deciding what second-best might really be. Spend extra amounts of time in prayer and fasting to know God’s will for what’s next.

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5. Embrace Community

Invite several others to walk with you on your second-best journey. Don’t go it alone. The first 15 chapters of Acts are written in the third person: “Paul did this;” or, “Paul did that.” It is intriguing to notice that beginning with chapter 16, the record of Acts is written in the first person: “We did this,” or, “we did that.” In Acts 16, Paul joined forces with Dr. Luke who wrote both the gospel and this book of Acts.

Solomon wrote that there is much wisdom with many counselors. It was Paul, Silas, Luke, Timothy, Demas, Aquila and Priscilla and others who all worked with Paul to make the second-best, best.

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6. Do Not Be Discouraged

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9

Do not despair; the Holy Spirit has plenty of power and all the grace you need for victory in any situation. If you read the Bible carefully you’ll see that God never gives martyr’s grace to a secretary. But let that secretary become a martyr and God has plenty of martyr’s grace.

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7. Have Faith in New Beginnings

Second-best often begets a new dream and lurks nearby if we just take time to look for it.

My father loved his job as an airline executive overseeing the finances of a fledging airline. The company was sold and all the current officers were immediately let go, except for my father and one other. For three years he worked in a stressed-out environment with incredibly demanding leaders who engineered his departure while he was in the hospital having surgery.

First best for my dad was finishing his career at age 65, with the airline he loved. He called the day he was let go the worst day of his life. He was hurt, angry, grieving and depressed. I watched him go to bed and lay there for hours. Then, one day it was time to get up.

One of his favorite sayings was “When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. So he did.

He found a low-stress job with an accounting firm. At age 65 he organized his own accounting firm. He played golf in the morning and accounted in the afternoon. On his 70th birthday he said, “It’s time to close down the business and just play golf.” So, for the next 15 years he played five mornings a week and napped every afternoon.

“The best day of my life,” he said to me one day, “was the day I got fired. Had I worked five more years in that pressure packed place I would’ve died before 65. Now I see that second-best got me 20 more years of good health and time to do the things I want to do.”

He wanted first best but instead he got second--and it was the best thing that ever happened to him.

*Editor's Note: The following was adapted from Pastor Roger Barrier's "Ask Roger" column which regularly appears at Preach It, Teach It. To read the full article, follow this link.

Dr. Roger Barrier retired as senior teaching pastor from Casas Church in Tucson, Arizona.

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