7 Types of Toxic Friendships to Avoid

1. The Friend Who Makes Everything about Them

Sadly, most of us have known someone who tends to make everything about them. When our friend does this, it can make us feel very irritated and devalued as a person. If you are open about a struggle and then your friend makes everything about them, it can be really hurtful. A person who makes everything about them clearly does not know what it means to be a genuine, kind, and humble friend.

My mom had a friend growing up who always made everything about herself. She couldn’t have a good time unless everyone was talking about her, her achievements, and her accomplishments. Even for things such as board games, my mom had to let her friend win or her friend would complain, cry, and be a bad sport for the rest of the night. My mom had been treated so badly by her friend that when she played games with my sisters and I when we were teens, she was surprised she could win without anyone getting upset with her.

As was the case with my mom’s friend, she could not have a good time unless everything was about her. If you know someone like this, it would be best to avoid this toxic friendship. Nowhere does God call us to stay in an unhealthy friendship. There is a lot concerning toxic relationships, but one must not overlook the dangers of toxic friendships. They can do just as much damage as unhealthy romantic relationships.

2. The Friend Who Invalidates Your Feelings

Similarly to the friend who has to make everything about themselves is the friend who invalidates your feelings. Often, these types of people go hand-in-hand. They normally focus on themselves rather than others. In other words, they tend to be more self-centered rather than others-focused. This goes against Jesus’ teachings. He wants us to love others and to be willing to lay down our lives for our friends (John 15:13).

A person who invalidates our feelings will make us feel terrible. If we go to this friend and disclose personal information about our struggles, they will only make us feel bad or say that our issue is “no big deal.” As someone who has been in this place many times, I can attest to the truth that it is not pleasant. It is never ideal to have someone demonize your feelings or try to tell you how to feel.

Healthy friendships are rooted in trust, safety, and peace. This means that you are able to go to your friends without fear of being judged or invalidated. You deserve great, loving, and caring friends. Never settle for less. If you do not have any healthy friendships in your life right now, go to God in prayer and ask for His guidance.

3. The Friend Who Gets You Into Trouble

In high school, many people have friends who get them into trouble. This could be someone who encourages us to stay out past our curfew, bullies others, or promotes doing bad behavior. Being a friend with someone like this is not wise and will lead to ruin (Proverbs 22:24-25). Sadly, being friends with someone who is always getting into trouble will eventually rub off on you.

Shortly, you will be the one getting yourself in trouble by participating in the destructive behaviors you learned from your friends. Rather than surrounding yourself with friends who get you into trouble, look for friends with a quiet and calm spirit. Look for individuals who truly love the Lord and you can see this love in their actions. These are the types of friends you want to have in your life.

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4. The Friend Who Promotes Sin

In addition to avoiding the friend who gets you into trouble, you also need to avoid the friend who promotes sin. Individuals who promote sin are not good people to be around because they will lead you into sin (1 Corinthians 15:33). The friend who promotes sin will push you to do immoral behaviors, go to sinful places, and participate in sinful actions. If your friend is always trying to get you to go to a bar, watch pornography, or get into gambling, you need to back away from them.

People who promote sin are not walking with the Lord and will not be healthy to have in your life. When you break off contact with them, they probably will be mean or call you names, but don’t listen to them. Block them on social media, text messages, and calls. Avoid contact with them outside of praying for them. Hopefully, with time, they will see the errors of their way and turn to the Lord.

5. The Friend Who Says Bad Things about God

Another toxic friendship to avoid is a friend who says bad things about God. If you ever hear a friend saying bad things about God, you know they are not a good person. Even if you have been friends with them for a long time, it is best not to be around people who say negative things about God. God is our wonderful, mighty, and loving God. We never need to sit idle when people are saying bad things about Him.

People who say bad things about God have no respect for Him. Since they have no respect for God, you will notice that they will have no problem doing bad things such as stealing, telling lies, or using profanity. God does not want us to be friends with these types of people because these friendships don’t glorify God. If we ever find ourselves in a situation where we can clearly tell the friendship does not glorify God, we can be assured it is time to go.

6. The Friend Who Is Mean to You and/or Others

When a friend is mean to others, sometimes we tend to overlook it. We think, “They would never be mean to me.” Unfortunately, if they are mean to a stranger on the street, they will definitely be mean to us. In elementary school, middle school, and high school, we often see the most popular people being the mean girls, but even the mean girls are mean to each other. Who wants a friendship like that?

One would think people would grow out of the mean girl phrase, yet some girls just grow up to be mean women. This is why we often get picked on or bullied at work. God does not want us to be around people who are mean to others or mean to us. Authentic, genuine friends would never be mean to us. They will build us up rather than tear us down.

7. The Friend Who Dabbles in the Occult

Lastly, a final friend we need to avoid is the friend who dabbles in the occult. Recently, I have a friend who started joining a Wiccan meeting group. To my surprise, she really enjoyed it and said everyone was very nice. While it could be true the people are nicer, there is most likely an ulterior motive. Most cults, including Wicca, appear to be nice on the outside in order to draw people in, such as my friend.

However, once they are in the cult, most people will find the cult members to not be so kind anymore. Instead, they are controlling, manipulative, and restrictive. If we have a friend who is starting to get interested in the occult or another cult, we need to help them turn away from the false belief. We can help point them to the truth of Jesus and the need to love Him above all else.

Being friends with those who dabble in the occult are not healthy friendships. They will only lead to your friend trying to also get you involved with the occult. Even if a person thinks they are strong in their faith, they might be surprised at how easily tempted they may be when it comes to peer pressure.

Stand firm in the Lord, point others to Jesus, and steer away from all toxic friendships.