8 Tips for Navigating Holiday Stress as a Couple

1. Spend Time with God

One way to navigate holiday stress as a couple this year is to spend time with God. Both as a couple and as individuals, it is important to spend time with God. Go to Him in prayer, present your requests to Him, and allow His peace, which surpasses all understanding, to wash over you (Philippians 4:6-7). The peace that God gives is abundant and everlasting. The more time you spend with Him, the better you will feel.

The exact opposite of stress is peace. Spending time with God will bring you more peace. Even though family members will try to cause us issues, we can be unified under God. As a couple, we will be able to connect with one another and with God. It delights God to see our marriage grow stronger the more we spend time with Him.

As you decide which holiday celebrations to attend this year, turn to God first. Make it a priority to talk with Him every day in prayer and read about Him in His Word. These two things will help decrease your stress levels. Pray for your spouse's peace, and they can pray for your own.

2. Learn to Say "No"

Sadly, many couples think they have to go to specific holiday events because a family member asked them to come. If any holiday event is not plausible right now, you have the right to say "no." "No" is a complete sentence and it has the power to shut down any counter arguments. Just because you are family does not mean you have to go to any and every holiday event that is asked of you.

Maybe the situation you are facing is a bit different than just going for a holiday event. It could be that your mother or mother-in-law wants you to bring four different types of casserole for the Christmas dinner and it is not within your bandwidth to do this right now. If this is true for you, you can tell her no. You can explain how it is too much for you right now, or you could simply say no.

It is not your responsibility to please everyone around you. While it is common for us to want to please our family members, we don't need to do it if it will cause us to suffer mentally or physically. Choose what will help you the best this year, and if this means saying "no," then saying "no" is the best course to take.

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3. Invest in Quality Time Together

As a couple, you can escape the stress of the holidays by investing in quality time together. Even if the calendar is booked up during the holiday months, still make it a priority to spend time together. Go see a movie together, go for a date night, or go for an afternoon walk in the park. All of these things are ways to invest in one another's lives.

During the holidays, it can be hard to spend time alone together. However, if you make it a priority and ensure both of you are being intentional, your marriage will become stronger. Sadly, too much stress has the potential to cause marriage problems. Therefore, ensure you are spending quality time together to prevent any anger, resentment, or bitterness from growing.

4. Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Most people only think of couples therapy after something bad has happened in the relationship. Despite this being what most people think, it is untrue. Going to therapy can prevent future problems from arising. With the stressors that the holidays bring, maybe starting Christian couples counseling is the way to go. You might be surprised how much it will help your marriage during the holidays and after.

If you are unsure of a good Christian couples counselor, consider researching a few names online. Before committing to a counselor, try to test the waters with a few sessions. Sadly, not all Christian couples counselors are the same, and some might not be the right fit for you and your spouse. If the first counselor isn't the right fit, don't give up. Keep looking and praying, and God will guide you to the right one.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Giuseppe Lombardo

5. Getting Out for Healthy Exercise

Whether you and your spouse are into exercise or not, getting in some exercise can really help stress levels. A morning jog or an afternoon walk are both ways to clear your mind and get your heart pumping. While exercising, you and your spouse can talk about anything that might be stressful. By talking about the issue and releasing the stress through exercise, you will both feel much better afterward.

It should be noted that you and your spouse don't need to start any extensive exercise plan without clearance from a doctor. If you or your spouse has any pre-existing health issues, it might be best to talk with a doctor first. However, if you and your spouse are in good health, you should be able to start right away. Regular exercise and talking about our feelings can truly go a long way in stress relief.

6. Host Your Own Holiday Celebrations

Maybe the major stressor for you and your spouse is going to holiday functions hosted by difficult family members. If this is a significant cause of your stress, it might be beneficial to host your own holiday celebrations. At your own holiday celebration, it can be just you and your spouse if you want. This will help things feel less stressful as compared to going to a big get-together.

If you still want to go to a big get-together with your other family members, that's okay, too. However, having your own holiday celebration might help with any impending stress. Having your own holiday celebration might even be a good backup if the family get-together isn't what you had expected. Having your own can help you and your spouse celebrate the holiday without the added stress. 

7. Pre-plan Relaxation Days

Another tip for navigating holiday stress with your spouse is to pre-plan relaxation days. These can be done in between holiday celebrations or in the days leading up to the main events. Even if you wanted to take a few relaxation days after the main family holiday events, that would be exceptionally helpful as well. Relaxing days will help you reconnect as a couple and talk about anything on your mind.

Moreover, by having them pre-planned, you and your spouse will know what to expect. If one of the relaxation days involves spending the day at home and watching movies, then your spouse will be sure to clear their schedule for this relaxation day event. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. It just needs to be something that helps you and your spouse relax.

8. Focus on the Positive

All too often, we only focus on the bad things when stress is drowning us. We neglect to take time to focus on the good things in life. With your spouse's help, both of you will be able to focus on the silver lining of every situation. Even if a situation feels like nothing is positive, you can still say that you are both thankful for God and each other.

These simple moments of gratitude can go a long way and help both of your hearts lean into the right direction. If we only focus on the bad things in life, we will never see the hidden beauty from God that comes through hard times. Work together as a couple this holiday season and eradicate stress with the help of the Lord. He doesn't want you to have a stressful holiday season as He wants you to joyfully celebrate the anniversary of His birth into the world with a happy and peaceful heart.