5 Biggest Struggles for Today's Christian Singles

Humankind was not made for the shallow waters that many vapid, derivative, and artificial conduits seek to feed the soul. The allure of such superficialities may captivate us for a moment, but the quench for thirst for things that are real, beautiful, true, and deep remains. This can be said even within the discussion of dating apps as these veneers often feel prevalent, making online dating a real challenge for those seeking something meaningful to pursue a real commitment with. 

One way to utilize the facility of a dating app in a way that aims for intentionality is not to be half-hearted when communicating. This does not mean coming out of the gate too strong, but it does mean asking thoughtful questions or seeking to learn more about the character of someone past shallow observations. When singles choose not to continue with the status quo of the shoals to navigate purposefully, honest, authentic conversations can be found.

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Distractions can come from many places, from work to family to social media and beyond. Distractions play a role in the struggle for Christian singles in that distractions can pull one away from seeking to prepare for marriage. Many who would like to be married one day are far from ready for what marriage truly means and entails, and an intentional time of preparing with God in His timing is an asset that can spare an individual from much heartache. 

Corrie Ten Boom once wisely said, “If the devil can't make you sin, he'll make you busy.” When we are busy, we are often distracted from focusing on goals that deserve more of our time. This is why it is important to never compromise your quiet time with the Lord in prayer and through studying His Word through the Bible. There, you can turn away from distractions to receive from Him a portion day by day of where He desires you to place your focus.

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There is also the constant battle for Christian singles to not fall into the complacency of compromise. Society operates in a very different mindset than what God has revealed in His Word, which is the best way to live. From encouraging living together before marriage to promoting practices that are forms of cheating, society makes sin seem normal. 

It is imperative for Christians not to base their choices on what is popular or condoned by the world but to seek first what God says is correct. It is also essential for Christians to know that if they have fallen short, it is not too late to correct their course. 

Psalms 145:8-9 reminds us, “The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” 

God is waiting and ready to forgive you when you repent and to assist you with wisdom, direction, and strength to return to His Will. 

Romans 12:2 shares, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you can test and approve God’s will—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

When we are in God’s Will, we are actually in the best course possible for us, and we can genuinely trust His way for us moving forward.

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The expectation of instant gratification has created an exceedingly difficult obstacle, especially for those who are in a waiting season of singleness. Patience is a Fruit of the Spirit, as shared in Galatians 5, but it is one that meets fierce opposition with a spirit that has been conditioned to receive with little to no wait time. God does not want us to cultivate patience because He wants us to suffer; instead, patience is a gift. 

Charles Stanley said, “Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we're waiting for.” 

Patience is also about trust, not just that the hope will come to pass, but trust that following God’s timing and way for your life is worthwhile and the right way to follow. When we become sensitive to when we are allowing the urge to have something quickly or when we have it sooner, it is there that we need to take a breath and check our hearts with the Lord. Ask Him to reveal, as only He can, what the next step is and if waiting patiently is what we are to do. Take heart, wait upon the Lord, and know goodness shall come forth in His time.

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The real solution to all the obstacles singles will meet is to seek God for His wisdom, not just in some areas but all. When you allow Him to be the Lord of your life, you are granting Him access to all your life, and He can be trusted with it all. 

Proverbs 3:5- 6 encourages us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” 

This means not relying on what others are doing or how they find someone to date or marry. It means not dating to fill the void of loneliness but giving God your time and availability to only be in a relationship if He is Authoring it. It also means seeking His guidance on who to date. Jesus shared in 

John 14:16 says that the Father has given us the Holy Spirit to speak to us, to provide us with truth when we seek Him, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever,  even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him.” When we truly seek what God is Authoring for our lives and stop focusing so heavily on everything the world says we need immediately, we find greater purpose from season to season, fuller depth through our relationship with the Lord, and hope for the days to come. 

Christian singles, know that you are not alone and that the Lord Himself wants to help you navigate singleness and all aspects of your life. Remember, too, that although marriage can be wonderful, there is no love greater than that of the love for the Lord. Make Him first now and always, and find true fulfillment, joy, and true love.

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